It all falls down
by mimiFish
Summary: AH/AU On their 3rd anniversary Edward and Bella are assaulted, when Bella wakes she doesn't remember Edward or their life together. How will she deal finding out she's pregnant Love/Angst.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

What an awful sound, why can't someone make that dreadful beeping stop? The constant rhythm was giving me a terrible headache that combined with the smell, oh God that smell, what is that awful odor? it smells like death mixed with disinfectant. I tried to pull my hand up to cover my face but was met with resistance, someone was holding it.

My eyes peeked open and slowly focused on a battered and bruised man sitting beside my hospital bed with his head resting on his crossed arms, "Bella, Oh thank God, I love you, I'm so sorry." He sobbed and shook.

I could feel my eyes turning into the back of my head and dreamless darkness once again overtook me.


	2. Anticipation

**The characters Belong to Stephenie Meyer, I own nothing, just boring their likeness and playing a bit.**

**Chapter 1. Anticipation**

Why did Fridays always have to drag on so long, it's the last day of the work week, shouldn't it go by the quickest? I thought to myself as I glanced at my watch, was this day never going to end? My job didn't usually have me so frustrated, I was quite happy here, it had just been a long week of monotony and I needed a little excitement,

I glanced down at the pictures on the bookshelf behind my desk, smiling at the happy memories of our wedding and Honeymoon, Edward and I were about to celebrate our third anniversary tonight, he was taking us to our favorite little restaurant. It was a hidden gem kind of place, the kind most people wouldn't give a second thought to its shabbiness from the outside, but once you were inside it was opulent and romantic and the food was heavenly. My mouth already watering at the thought of the feast I would soon be enjoying.

Glancing out the window it was a typical August afternoon In Seattle, Hazy and Muggy, I would give anything for rain to wash away some of the grimy feeling it left the city in.

I heard the all too familiar sound of an incoming instant message on my computer; he had been sending them to me all day, teasing me, if only he knew what he was in for tonight.

Dirty passionate thoughts surrounded and flooded my mind at the thought of my husband caving to me in pleasure. I spun around to face the monitor and to no surprise there was a chat box open from "Bella's Lion" it was a Message from him, my Edward.

_Bella's Lion: It's 4:55; do you know what that means_

I smirked knowing where the last five minutes of my work day were about to go. I chuckled to myself wanting to play with him a little biting my lip as I typed back to him

_Edwards Muse: Yes! That I didn't nearly get enough accomplished today and may need to work late._

_Bella's Lion: __Now you don't want to work late and miss out on all the fun do you?_

_Edwards Muse: __Fun?_

_Bella's Lion: __Oh Yes, there's lots of fun to be had_

_Edwards Muse: __Tell me about this fun?_

_Bella's Lion: __Mmmm, are you alone?_

The door to my office was closed and the blinds already drawn in the anticipation of the day ending.

_Edwards Muse: __Yes I am alone, are you?_

_Bella's Lion: __Sadly no, I am sitting in the back of a cab with Emmett._

_Edwards Muse: __Hmm_

An idea flitted across my tarnished thoughts.

_Edwards Muse: __Too bad, I guess I shouldn't tell you that I need you now._

_Bella's Lion: __Now?_

_Edwards Muse: __Now! You know your messages make me HOT._

_Bella's Lion: __How Hot?_

_Edwards Muse: __So hot I may have to unbutton my shirt_

_Bella's Lion: __You are a naught Minx, you know that don't you?_

_Edwards Muse: __Oh I know, _

There was a knock on my door bringing me back to my sad realization that I was never as alone as I wanted to be at work. "Come in" I quickly closed my laptop from view and looked up to see Alice my best friend since highschool enter and sit on the corner of my desk.

"So what do you guys have planned this weekend? Jasper and I are heading out to go dancing tonight; do you guys want to join us?" Alice invited with all too much enthusiasm.

"Not tonight Hun, Edward and I are going to have a nice quiet night" I winked at her with a twisted grin on my face

"Quiet? Bella and Edward!" She chuckled "I was your roommate for 3 years after highschool before you guys got married, there is nothing quiet going on tonight!" Alice never ceased to amaze me with her less than subtle ways

Mocked shock etched across my face and I could only smile at my Best friend. "Its not like I never heard you and Jasper going at it like animals!" We had been on far too many adventures to not know all of each other secrets. I couldn't keep this one from her for a minute longer. "Actually Alice, we've been trying for a baby so we are um spending the weekend in to _Practice" _I admitted.

"Oh Wow" Alice proclaimed with true shock on her face. "I would say, Good Luck but I know you too don't need any. I am just sort of surprised! I always figured you guys would have waited until you had the whole, white picket fence thing going on."

I guess you just know when its right Alice"

A smile flitted across her pixie like face " Well don't let me keep you, go, get out of here, go worship your ""Lion"" all night long, tell him I say "roar"" she made a lion like claw out of her hand in a mock gesture, she really did know way too much about our intimate lives.

I threw a pen at her and smiled, always the one to turn a conversation and make me laugh.

Alice left for the weekend and I turned back to my desk and started packing everything into my laptop bag. I heard the ding of an incoming instant message once again.

_Bella's Lion: __You there still Love?_

_Edwards Muse: __Yes, sorry hun, Alice popped in. I'm heading out now, Dinner still at Maquesas at 5:30?_

_Bella's Lion: __I'll be the handsome one with the lusty green eyes in the back._

_Edwards Muse: __Mmm, see you then Tiger._

I unplugged my laptop after it powered down and tucked it into its place in the bag next to the mountain of work I knew I should be attempting to conquer this weekend but I secretly hoped I wouldn't have time.

I always kept a change of clothes in my office and quickly slipped on the black form fitting sleek number I kept for dinners such as this. Slipping off my comfortable black flats I struggled to get the pantyhose on that I knew drove Edward crazy, something about the black seam up the back of my legs always got his attention, I had a feeling though that tonight, it wouldn't take much. I put on my strappy black heels that always hurt after an hour but as much as I hated the inconvenience of getting all dressed up, I knew it would be worth it so see Edwards face light up when I walked into the restaurant. Of course I knew that he didn't care what I was wearing, he found me just as sexy in one of his old T-shirts as he did in the raciest of negligees.

I made my way down to the lobby and hopped into the first cab I saw giving my instructions to the restaurant.

20 minutes later I was walking through the door of our favorite shabby little Italian restaurant. Seated near the back as promised, was my handsome green eyed Adonis at our usual table sitting as he promised with a lustful gleam in his eye holding a single red rose.

"Hey Stranger" I greeted my all too eager husband as a huge half grin made its way across his face, I leaned in to give him a kiss as he pulled my chair out for me presenting the rose to me.. God I love this .

Dinner was a pleasant evening of flirting and succulence, the food was always exceptional and almost a passionate event with the infusion of flavors mixed with fine wines. But like all good things it came to an end and Edward reached his hand out to me, I reached my hand out affectionately placing it on top of his then slowly trailing my fingers along the length of his sending visible shivers through his body.

"Check Please" Edward blurted out and we both laughed at his enthusiasm. It didn't take much for me to arouse my husband. We had been married three years ago today and still were enjoying the _honeymoon_ phase of our relationship. I just felt incomplete when we weren't touching, we were barely apart, if it weren't for work I don't think we would ever get dressed, I could easily and contentedly spend the rest of my life wrapped in Edward's strong warm arms.

He reached out one of his chiseled arms for me and I all too willingly complied to have his arm wrapped around my back as he led me out of the restaurant, I never felt like a prize or trophy on his arm, my husband was gorgeous but I knew he only had eyes for me not that every woman in the room didn't stop and stare when he would walk in. He had one of those faces that women longed to touch and men would kill to have, and his Body, My God his body! He took pride in his physique working out every morning to stay in shape as he once put it, I wasn't about to complain about the hour he spent every day in our home gym, sweating. To be completely honest, his smell afterwards was intoxicating, a musky sweet smell that drove me to all boundaries of my sanity.

The cool crisp night air greeted us as a small chill ran through my body as Edward took his dinner jacket off placing it around my shoulders like the gentleman he always was. The gentleman I couldn't wait to get home and let unleash the burning passionate Lion within.

There weren't any cabs in sight on the small side street so Edward suggested we walk the half block to the intersection where we might have better luck hailing a taxi.

His arm wrapped around me always made me feel so safe, so at peace, I reached up on my tip toes to place a gently seductive peck on his neck just below his ear where it always drove him crazy. I couldn't get him home quick enough in my opinion; the thoughts swirling through my head were intoxicating. Not wanting to wait a moment longer to let my husband know the direction my thoughts were turning and perhaps to torment him a little; we loved to play games with each other, I pushed him against the side of a rust coloured brick building and ran my hands up his chiseled chest and planted a passionate kiss on his lips which opened to welcome my tongue and gently started to caress mine against it. I pulled away letting out a quiet moan biting the corner of my lip.

I looked up into my husbands' lust filled eyes, I had him right where I wanted him and he was mine, putty in my eager hands. I took satisfaction in the joy that only I could do this to him. I grabbed his hand and started to pull leading him towards the crawling intersection at a quickened pace. I couldn't get out of this dank neighbourhood soon enough and back to our place.

We made it half way down the street when I stumbled getting my heel trapped in a crack in the sidewalk snapping it off at its base, Great, just what I needed. I rolled my eyes as he let out a loud guttural laugh, why did he always have to find my clumsiness so endearingly hilarious.

"Yeah, Ha ha, laugh now mister, just for that you are taking me shoe shopping tomorrow." I attempted to give him my best threatening look which only brought more laughter to his smiling face.

"Oh come here" and with that Edward hoisted me up into a piggyback laughing and enjoying every moment of my chagrin.

We were about 45 feet from the intersection when I heard a deep and hoarse voice behind us "Give me your wallets and all your jewelry and no one gets hurt." Edward spun around and we were met face to face with an obscenely tall and muscular gruff looking man clad in jeans and leather reeking of whiskey. "In the alley, NOW"

Edward's hands went up into a pose of surrender as I slid down his back standing behind him. The obtrusive angry man pointed his black gun motioning us into the dark damp alley beside us. Stumbling on the imbalance of my broken shoe I hobbled until my back was against a wall and Edward was poised in front of me " Here, take whatever you want, just don't hurt my wife." I could see the muscles extending in his neck, the words slipping out through his barred teeth.

A second equally large man appeared at the dark end of the Alley and walked with a stagger which could only be described as menacing. Fear and adrenaline coursed through my veins as my husband's body was protecting me from the two predators.

Time seemed to be spinning in slow motion as the scene played out before me. "Looky Looky what we have here, two love birds." The newcomer greeted his younger accomplice, "hmm, isn't she a tasty treat, Oh I am going to enjoy this one very much I think, she looks like she has some fight in her"

Edwards head turned and I could see fire burning in his eyes, "You lay one hand on my wife and it will be the last thing you do" Edward threw his wallet to the first man "You have what you want, now we will just be leaving"

Laugher erupted from both men as the darker, leather clad one moved closer to Edward pushing his gun into his cheek and bringing his face just inches from Edwards. "SO pretty boy, do you want to watch what we are going to do to your pretty little flower?" Terror ran through me now, how could this be happening, this just isn't possible; soon I had to be waking from this horrific nightmare.

The man with the gun pulled Edward across the narrow alley forcing him against the wall across from me, tears were streaming down my face "Stop" I shouted, "Don't hurt him! Take what you want just don't hurt him" My eyes met with Edwards, both filled with terror for the other's well being, at that moment I didn't care what happened to me, so long as my Edward was safe.

"Endearing aren't they?" The man with the limp spoke and I realized he was just inches from me now brandishing a shining silver dagger in his right hand. Hot tears fell down my cheek as he pushed the sharp cold edge of the blade against my cheek. "Pretty one, isn't she? Yes, she is. Dibs."

With that final word, my world went dark and the last sounds I remember hearing were sound of my head smacking the hard damp pavement, Edwards sobbing please and the sound of fabric tearing.

A/N Please let me know what you think, if its worth carrying on with the story.


	3. Torment

**The characters All belong to Stephanie Meyer, I just borrowed them.**

A/N Please let me know what you think, I would love to write more but I need some encouragement if I am going in a believable direction so please let me know what you think. I am going to try and tell a chapter from Edwards POV as Bella is obviously incapacitated. I am obviously not a man so I hope I can do him justice. It's a little dark but so is Our Edward.

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**Torment**

_I want to rip their hearts out with my bare hands for what they did to her, my poor sweet innocent Bella, I swear I am going to hunt them down and castrate them before they learn the full meaning of torture. A wave of nausea overcomes me and I fly to the small cubicle of a bathroom in the sterile dank room; releasing the empty contents of my stomach into the stone basin._

_I hate myself, I am a worthless waste of a man, how could I let this happen to my Bella, my Wife, I am such a coward; I don't deserve this life, I don't deserve her. I am supposed to be able to protect her, what kind of a man am I to stand there and be forced to watch as that vile wretched pig forced himself on my Bella's defenseless body, violating her in the crudest of ways. I wish they would have killed me and just got it over with, this slow torture burning through my mind is ten fold the agony any bullet could ever bring._

Bella stirred in a restless movement, wincing in her dreamless coma bringing fresh stabs of pain to my broken soul._Where are those damn nurses with her pain meds?_

The door to Bella's ICU room opened and I heard the somber footsteps approaching, as they always did. "She's stirring, please I think she's in pain, help her" It was more of a plea than a request.

"Mr. Masen, I assure you she isn't in any discomfort, the human mind has a way of protecting itself and shutting off from the pain in a situation like this, she will wake up in time, when her body and mind have healed from the trauma enough to be able to grasp it, you must be patient." Her Doctor preached to me for probably the tenth time this week. "You really should go home and get some rest, you have suffered many injuries too and she will need you to be strong and healthy when she wakes."

"I'm not leaving her!" I spit through my teeth as the coward of a man walked into the hall to make his notations.

_Pitiful, why couldn't I have had that kind of strength a week ago when my courage betrayed me?_

I took my perch on the hard plastic chair at her bedside, it had been my prison since the moment the cowards ran away and I was able to free us from that wretched nightmare.

The door to her room opened once again and I recognized the agonized shuffle of Charlie Swan's Police Issue combat boots. He took the seat across from me and had the nerve to look at me, how can he even look me in the eye after what I allowed to happen to his baby.

"Edward, Son, the nurses say you haven't left her side all week, can I get you anything?" At least it was better than him asking me to leave for rest, rest was for the weak and I was never going to be weak again.

I just looked up at him and he knew my answer. Could he see the pain and burn in my glare?

"We are doing all we can to find them, but Edward listen, when they brought her in, they collected and SAE kit and were able to get a err um DNA sample, I ask you now not as her father but as a favor to the local authorities, God I can't believe I have to ask my baby's husband this but when was the last time you two were _together_. They need to know if they have to eliminate your DNA from screening if it was within 48 hours."

My eyes looked up at him and for a brief moment I allowed myself to remember not wanting to let Bella out of bed so easily that morning, she was all too willing to take the day off and stay home with me worshiping each other all day long but she had a meeting in the afternoon and settled for going in late. Pain stabbed through my chest, was that the last time I would ever feels her hot breath on my skin, the last time I would hear her sweet voice calling out my name.

Reality brought me out of my temporary daze, "What do I need to do Charlie? She's my wife; obviously my _sample_ needs to be _eliminated._ I am, I _was _the only man to ever know her that way Sir." Oh God, another sudden wave of nausea overtook me and I started to dry heave at the memory of what that scumbag did, his DNA now inside of her. Convulsions took over my body and I was overcome with grief; tears flooded out of my eyes blinding me as I slid out of the chair and onto the cold hard floor.

Charlie's hand was on my shoulder giving a paternal squeeze followed by two quick pats on my back. "Don't worry kid, they won't get away, this badge comes off at night but my gun doesn't. I WILL see them pay for what they did to her, to both of you."

I heard him leave the room and whisper something to the officers outside who then entered. I could only imagine what they thought of the shell of a man pulling himself up off the floor next to his wife's battered, abused and broken body "Mr. Masen, I know this is a difficult time and we are very sorry for what you have both endured but we need to take your DNA sample, its simple, just a swab inside your cheek, the results usually take about 6 weeks to process for an elimination but don't let that discourage you, every officer in our violent crimes department is on this case, we will catch them Mr. Masen, take peace in that."

I let them take their swab and signed their inconsequential release form, _take peace in that?_ Please!! The only way I will ever feel peace again is when I will be standing over their cold lifeless bodies and my hands are stained with their blood.

Bella's hand was limp and lifeless in mine, the droning beeping of her monitors my only companionship to this dreadful nightmare. I rested my head on her hand hoping for just a brief reaction from her but I only found the statue that had become her body. My eyes finally won their battle and I drifted off into my restless trance that was the torment of my dreams; filled with dark alleys and the sounds of Bella's clothes being torn off of her.

I stirred as I felt warmth on my cheek, "Bella, Love?" He heart leaped in anticipation as I looked up but was defeated to only find her sleeping form.

"No Edward, sorry, it's just us." Alice and Jasper visited Bella every evening on their way home from work, they probably would have stayed the entire time too but I couldn't bear the thought of anyone else being forced to endure this torture.

"Hey guys" I tried to meet their gesture with a fake half grin but I knew they could see right through me.

"Still no change?" Alice asked matching my defeat in her grim face "Bella Honey, time to wake up sleepyhead, we miss you." She took a seat on the bed next to Bella and started to comb through Bella's tangled mane with her tiny fingers.

"Hey man, I'm gonna grab a coffee, you wanna come?" Jasper offered with his arm reached out gesturing to the door. I just shook my head in defeat.

"Edward, why don't you go with him, I will stay with Bella I promise." Sweet little Alice pleaded with me.

I didn't put up much fight for once and Alice all but pushed me out the door; my feet shuffling underneath me as I stepped into the all too bright corridor of the Seattle Memorial Hospital Intensive Care Unit.

"Man, listen to me, I know you have been through something worse than I can imagine but seriously, you look like Hell, when was the last time you really slept, or ate?" Jasper placed his arm across my shoulder in as affectionate a gesture as two straight men could make without feeling awkward, "And dude, I hate to say it but you reek man! You seriously need a shower."

I actually chuckled at Jasper's attempt at sincere honesty, he could always tell me like it was. "Yeah I guess I could do with a shower and some food. Do you think that you and Alice can stay with her for an hour or two?" I haven't been back to our place since, since… I couldn't even bring myself to say it again and the thought of a shower was highly appealing at this point.

We skipped the coffee and made our way back into her room and I bent down and kissed my wife on the forehead whispering to her" Bella, My Love, I will be back very soon, you won't even have a chance to miss me, Alice and Jasper are going to stay here with you, you won't be alone for a minute Love."

With those parting sentiments I made my way down to the lobby and took the first cab that was free to our condo. The ten minute drive went by at a glacial pace and I was beginning to regret leaving the hospital, what if she finally woke up and I wasn't there? Alice promised to call if ANYTHING changed but could I trust the chance? No, I knew I needed a shower though.

I let myself into our Home and collapsed the moment my feet hit the tile floor and I was overcome with sobs of grief as my cheek slipped against the cold marble tiles. A puddle of my sweat and tears started to form underneath my check.

After a few minutes I gathered myself up and made my way to our master suite ignoring the flashing message icon on the phone and piles of mail growing on the counter, someone must have been picking it up for us, Alice I could only imagine.

I peeled my clothes off and let them drop where they fell on the bathroom floor into a heap of filth and grime. Climbing into the steaming hot shower brought on a moment of relief as I felt the muscles in my body start to unravel. I had been sitting in that wretched chair for too long. I washed away a weeks worth of sweat and tears and with it I found resolve and a small sense of strength, I wasn't going to let this beat me, I had to be stronger, I couldn't protect her then but I will be damned if I was going to let them continue to win. I will be strong for Bella, I will hunt these creatures down if it's the last thing I do.

I dried off and for the first time took a good look at myself in the mirror, I chuckled once as I agreed with Jasper, I did look like Hell! My eyes were sunken with purple bruises under them, I had never actually had a beard before and a few more days and I could probably sport an impressive one but I knew Bella liked me clean shaven so I took the few minutes to shave for her, she wouldn't know but I had to do something for her. My left cheek now stained yellow and green from the healing bruise from the nuzzle of the gun pressed against it, my subtle reminder of weakness. The five stitches I grudgingly allowed them to place in my scalp while they worked on stabilizing Bella would soon be ready to be removed, just another painful talisman that I would carry on my skin forever but it paled in comparison to the scar now burned through my heart that I will always carry.

Checking my cell phone for missed calls which of course there weren't any I sat on the edge of the bed in my towel, I hated to admit it but the thought of sleep at this point was inviting but the guilt and anguish took over. I scrolled through the contacts list and called Alice to check in on Bella but Alice said there wasn't any change since I had left, of course their wasn't, who was I kidding to think something would change so quickly, they said it could be days or weeks before she came around. Alice did kindly offer to stay for a few more hours if I wanted to rest and I knew I had to take her up on the offer as much as it pained me, what good would I be to her recovery if I collapsed the moment she woke up?

I don't even remember lying down but I woke 3 hours later, my naked body chilled in the air conditioned room, I heaved myself up and walked to the closet throwing on a pair of jeans and a black dress shirt. Seeing a small carry-on sized bag at my foot I decided I should pack a few things for when Bella wakes up and even a change of clothes for myself as I decided to not let her see me fallen apart how I had been, I can't be this shell of a man in front of her. Tossing what toiletries I thought were necessary in to the bag I headed down to the kitchen and made myself one of Bella's Pop Tarts, they were disgusting but it was quick and easy.

I took the elevator down to the parkade of our building to our car and once again I beat myself up, if only I had taken the car that day and driven us home, none of this would have happened. The only reason we didn't drive to work was that parking was such a premium in the city and with all the traffic it is so much less stressful to let someone else drive_. I won't be making that mistake again, that's for sure._

The Volvo purred to life and I sped back to the hospital feeling slightly refreshed. A sinister thought crossed my mind and I quickly made a U-turn and drove towards the restaurant, I doubted the idiots would be hanging around there still what with every officer in the state looking for them but I had to see for myself.

The dark and dank Alley didn't look as menacing as in my memories, it was 8PM, about the same time of day the only difference tonight was I was alone and my Bella lay in the hospital, Broken.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I jumped when I saw the caller was Jasper, "Is she OK? Did something happen?"

"No, Edward, she's still, err, sleeping. But visiting hours are over and they are kicking us out, apparently we aren't family." Jasper explained. _Stupid policies_ they were as much Family to Bella and I as if they were flesh and blood.

"I'm already in the car and on my way; I'll be there in ten."

I sped through the city not caring if I got pulled over, I'd like to see an officer try and catch me, but there was no such luck and I pulled into the hospital parking lot. The place looked like an old brick penitentiary at night; I hoped I wouldn't ever have to come back here again once this is all over.

The elevator seemed to take forever or perhaps I was overly eager to get back to Bella's side.

When I walked into her room I was surprised to see Alice talking animatedly to Bella as if she were awake, I felt intrusive of the one sided girl talk. "Bella Honey, Edward is back so I am going to leave you two alone and Jasper and I will be back, its Saturday tomorrow so I am going to come and spend the day with you, Bella I miss you so much, please wake up, come back to us." Tears spilled out of her eyes as she made her way over giving me a tender squeeze before saying goodnight and leaving.

I bent down and kissed my wife tenderly on her plump lips. God she is beautiful, if only she would open her eyes and I could get lost in that gorgeous chestnut sea again. I took my place once again on my hard plastic perch taking her hand in mine.

The monotony of the beeping quickly overtook me once again, the sound of her heart beating was my only reassurance that she was still my Bella, I would know that rhythm anywhere, it mirrored my own as my heart beat only for her.

I was in the Alley again standing across from my Angel, Fear and terror burned across her face as the shorter, older of the two attackers flung her to the ground by her hair, the gasp of my plea as her head hit the cold hard cement Alley startled me from my painful reverie but the gasp wasn't just my own for once.

Bella's fingers began to twitch in my hand and she moaned in discomfort. I quickly pressed the call button the nurses had pinned to her bed and two nurses came rushing in.

"She gasped and moved her hand!" I shouted to the nurses as the looked at the monitors then to me re-assuring.

"Mr. Masen, don't get too excited, comatose patients can have involuntary movements, it might be nothing but she could be waking up." They made notes on her chart and then left me at my wife's side promising me that a Doctor would be in soon to re-assess her.

For the first time in a week I felt hope, I knew in my heart of Hearts that my Bella was coming back to me.

An hour or so later a young Doctor wandered into the room to check on her, he lifted her eyelids and waved a flashlight across them, peeking at the monitors before making a few notations in the chart at the foot of her bed, He then reached up rubbing his knuckles across my wife's sternum causing us both to arch in discomfort and I winced at the thought of her feeling any more pain.

"Mr. Masen, I assure you this is a very good sign, your Wife's coma IS lessening and she is starting to respond to painful stimuli, she's going to be OK. It may still be a while before she is fully awake but I suspect she can hear you now."

A wave of pure light overcame me and a tear of joy slipped from my eye. "Thank-you" was all I could muster at this wonderful news. The Doctor made one final note on Bella's chart, something about a GCS but I didn't care, my Bella was coming back to me, slowly but she was coming back, that was all I needed to hear.

I forewent the chair and climbed up onto the bed beside my sleeping wife letting my nose nuzzle against her cheek whispering sweet nothings into her ear. "Bella, Love, my life, I am here, I will never leave you just come back to me sweetheart, come back. I need you, we have a long life ahead of us filled with decades of love and laughter, come home to me Love."

A guttural whimper of a groan crept out from between her lips.

The biggest smile imaginable crept across my face "Bella, Oh thank God, I love you, I'm so sorry."


	4. Can it get any worse?

A/N Please read and review, I know some think its a little dark, but so is Edward. Reviews are Love. The more reviews I get the quicker I will be encouraged to update. :)

The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, they simply came out to play in my mind.

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"Bella, Bella, Love, come back to me" Elation was splattered across my face as I squeezed the call button once more to alert the nursing staff what had happened and once more they came rushing into her room and started checking monitors and vitals.

"She opened her eyes briefly!! My Bella is coming back" I could have been shouting through the tears that now marred my cheeks. I explained to them the rest of what had occurred but it seemed like time was rushing past me, I don't even know if my words are making sense; it feels like I am floating on air.

The young Doctor followed into the room a moment later, perhaps I was a little too loud but I didn't care, my world was returning and I felt alive for the first time in a week. "What's going on in here?"

"Mr. Masen says that his wife opened her eyes briefly, looked at him and then her eyes rolled into the back of her head before she fell asleep again." The bossier of the two nurses proclaimed.

"Hmm," was all the Doctor could muster as he bent down and shone his little flashlight into my wife's eyes once again waving it left to right before doing that awful sternum rub once again. Watching my wife arch in pain was still more than I could endure. "Mr. Masen, her status hasn't changed, I think it is safe to say that it was merely an unconscious response to stimuli, your wife is still very much in a coma".

With those last words my world slipped away, I slumped back into my hard plastic prison still holding onto her hand as the tears overcame me. I could hear mumbled whispers in the room but at that moment nothing else mattered. I could feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into a dark spiral of sorrow and anger. I could vaguely hear a mans voice reciting my name over and over again above the sound of my sobs but I gave in to the emotion pouring out of me, I wasn't in control anymore. I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my right arm and the world went numb.

_I was having the most wonderful dream; it was our wedding night, Bella came into our hotel room in nothing but a white Satin robe; she had saved herself for this night despite some of my more "devious efforts" but I secretly liked the fact that I was the only man that would ever have her. She walked over to the edge of the bed where I lay waiting in eager anticipation and slowly lowered the shoulder of her robe exposing her bare flesh. I wanted to rush over to her and ravish every inch of her glorious body but I knew she was nervous; this had to be at her pace. I sat up and our eyes met, fire and anticipation burned in mine while hers smoldered with love and elation, blush flooding the tender apples of her cheek driving my lustful thoughts even further. She was utterly intoxicating. Reaching out my hand for her I slowly invited her to lie next to me and tenderly bent down kissing the woman who was now my wife, my everything. I left a trail of kisses down her cheek and to her chin, finding my way to the tender area just between her ear and neck, moans escaped her lips driving me crazy, I had to have her…"Edward…"_

"Edward, Edward…"

"Mmm, Bella?" Perhaps this wasn't a dream after all and we were still in that wonderful paradise.

"No Edward, Sorry it's just me, Alice." I opened my eyes slowly and was not met with the glorious Hotel room I was remembering and instead I focused on a brightly lit square room filled with pastel curtains and then reality came back to me but what was I doing lying in a bed? "Edward, its about time you woke up, they called us in, they said you had some kind of a break down and they had to sedate you, you've been asleep for 3 days!"

Panic quickly overcame me and my thoughts ran to my Wife "Bella, Alice where is she, I need to see her, is she Ok?"

"Take a deep breath, relax Edward, she's in her room upstairs sleeping, Charlie is with her now"

Relief came over me but I still couldn't erase the pain I felt not being with her. Alice took a seat on the edge of my bed placing her hand over mine and I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was hiding something from me. "Alice, what's wrong?"

A single tear rolled down her little cheek and her deep eyes met mine, "Nothing really Eddie, they are just worried, she hasn't changed in 3 days, she hasn't gotten better but she hasn't gotten worse. They thought with the progress she made the other day that she'd be awake by now but it's like something else happened to her and her mind shut down. Her coma has lessened, she moves if you touch her, she will moan and mumble but she just won't wake up."

I didn't know which emotion was pulsing through me stronger; fear or anger. I was terrified for my wife but I felt sick with myself for being down here in this bed while she is upstairs needing me. "What does it all mean Alice?"

"They don't really know it's like she is holding herself back from waking up, like she's given up Edward. It's just not like her, Bella is the most stubborn and tenacious person I know, she would never give up, she WILL wake up and get through this Edward, I just know it in the core of my being."

"I know Alice, I know, I just can't believe that they think Bella has given up, it has to be something else" A pit started to grow in my stomache, I had to see her. "I need out of here, I have to go to her." I started to pull at the IV line placed into my left hand when a doctor walked into my little curtained off area.

"Mr. Masen, welcome back, you gave the nurses upstairs a bit of a fright a few nights ago, you were exhausted and we thought it best to encourage you to get some rest; we sedated you the first night but then to all of our surprise you slept for 3 days. Your Body needs to rest too Edward, remember that." A grim smile crossed his face "We will release you but only on the condition that you don't spend 24 hours a day at your wife's side, I know you don't want to hear this but Mr. Masen, we can't have you killing yourself at your wife's bedside. I am going to strongly suggest that you leave each night and go home and rest. I've arranged that your friends here be allowed in after hours to stay with her if it means you will rest and take care of yourself."

I agreed to try my best but I wasn't making promises, if Bella needed me I would never leave her, I couldn't bear to let her down again. They sent a young nurse in to take my IV out; I quickly cleaned myself up a bit in the closet sized bathroom before allowing Alice and Jasper to lead me upstairs, Alice maternally taking my hand the entire way.

Walking into her room was a different sight this time, Bella looked different, there was color in her cheeks, Alice has obviously been here, her hair had been brushed and delicately flowed behind her, and she looked like an Angel sleeping. A smile crossed my face; this wasn't nearly the horrific sight I had imagined as I sat down on the edge of her bed, caressing her hand that lay open in mine and I gently placed a kiss on the back of it. Bella squirmed a bit; she looked as if she was simply sleeping peacefully.

Leaning down across her I bent down and gave her a gentle kiss on her warm pink lips as she let out a quiet sigh; God how I've missed that sound. "Bella, Love, I'm here, I'm so sorry I left, please my Love, wake up, I need you."

She mumbled something entirely unintelligible barely above a whisper. I could tell by the movement of her eyes she was dreaming. "Sleep now sweetheart, I will be right here, I love you." I gently placed a kiss on her forehead and then took my place again in the plastic chair at her bedside.

Her Doctor soon came in to update me on her condition, he didn't tell me much that Alice hadn't already only he used much fancier terminology once again rambling something about a GCS number which was supposed to tell us how "deep" her coma was. Apparently with her numbers she should be coherent by now but she isn't. He explained that her mind is protecting itself from something, most likely the pain of the attack ten days ago. He asked me to follow him into his office to discuss a private matter.

My interest was peaked at what the doctor couldn't say in front of Alice or a sleeping Bella; I followed him into his office which was a windowless cell of books, a desk and 2 chairs, I quickly took my place in the chair closest to the door, I couldn't bare to be even a foot further from her if I could avoid it.

"Mr. Masen, this is a highly un-usual situation and normally I would not be able to discuss this with you but your wife had signed a medical proxy at the hospital which allows you to make certain decisions in the event that she is incapacitated."

"She signed a what?" I was confused, why Bella would sign anything, we always discussed stuff like this first, and I mean this isn't a huge deal but I didn't even know she had been to the hospital let alone made plans for an event like this, but Bella was the reasonable one out of the two of us "I don't quite understand."

"Mr. Masen, Edward if I may? It is standard procedure that we run routine tests and screening on all of our patients, this morning I was alerted to a situation that may be difficult for you to hear given the circumstances but your wife is pregnant." My world suddenly started to swim in a hazy fog but I was soon brought out of my trance when a hand patted my shoulder. "Mr. Masen, were you aware of the pregnancy?"

"No, No, we had been trying for a couple months but she never said anything, are you sure?" shock and awe came across me which were soon met by joy, a baby! This is incredible! "Wait, is she OK? Is the baby OK?" Panic soon took forefront in my mind at thoughts of what the seriousness of this conversation could only mean.

"Edward, this is why I wanted to speak to you privately, you if weren't aware of the pregnancy and with Mrs. Masen unable to answer our questions we don't know exactly how far along she is yet, we will do some more tests and an ultrasound as soon as possible but because of the nature of the tests we have to get consent first and you being her medical proxy it falls upon you."

Was this doctor crazy, of course I would let them do anything they thought necessary to help Bella and our child, wow, the thought just melted my very being, our child. "Of course, whatever it takes to make sure they are both safe, when will you do these tests?"

"We can set it up for this afternoon, of course you can be there but Mr. Masen, we have to explore and discuss all possibilities first." I could tell by the formality in his voice that I wasn't about to like this next part. "There is still more that we need to discuss. As the police mentioned to you; we were able to collect an SAE kit for them which confirmed that there was seminal fluid present, we have to take certain precautions, and I know this is going to be difficult to hear but we will need to monitor your wife for STD's and possibly HIV and various other diseases and Mr. Masen, we also have to face the possibility that without knowing the date of conception that this fetus could have been conceived during the assault."

I sat frozen in place, my world suddenly turned upside down, I could see the doctors mouth moving but the only sound I could hear was the pounding of my pulse, sweat poured out of every surface of my body and I began to shake. I was swarmed with rage and a stabbing pit of furry started to build in my stomache. I could feel a hand on my shoulder once again gently shaking me from my anguish.

"Mr. Masen, Edward, are you all right?" I could see the pain in his eyes matching my anguish "We don't know anything for sure yet, we will better be able to date the pregnancy on the ultrasound but we had to prepare you for the possibility. I suggest that we not stress on the issue of paternity until we know for certain."

Not stress on…what? I didn't understand how I could go from one extreme to the other in just one brief sentence. I needed to get out of here and fast before I lost it again. "What time will you do this test?"

"I will arrange things for 4PM this afternoon."

"That's fine, I, I, I just need some time and please, don't discuss this near Bella or anyone until we know."

I got up and walked back to Bella's room in a stupor, Alice turned to me at once, she was sitting beside Bella filing her nails of all things so trivial, I was angry, my world was crashing around me in varying shades of red and black and Alice was concerned with the condition of Bella's manicure.

"Oh God Edward, what's wrong?" My feelings must have shown on my face as Alice looked positively terrified. I knew I couldn't keep this from her but if anyone besides Bella might be able to answer the Dr's queries about her cycle then Alice would be the one, they shared everything.

"Oh, Alice, I can't believe I am asking you this, this isn't how things are supposed to go, and this isn't how life is supposed to work." I hung my head and once again started to weep, I could feel Alice come over and place her small arms around me but they weren't the ones I wanted to feel.

"Edward, what is it?"

I wasn't ready to tell her, I couldn't, I can't accept the possibility myself that the innocent child growing inside my wife might belong to that Monster;. But perhaps there was a way around asking her without actually having to confess my greatest fear.

"It's nothing really," I lied"But they just need to know a few details about Bella's health, when her last cycle was and all that kind of stuff, you can't happen to answer that one for me can you? Don't you girls share all those kinds of details with each other?"

"Edward, I honestly don't know, Bella hadn't really been sharing much with me lately, It wasn't until last Friday when she mentioned anything remotely personal to me, she just told me you guys had been trying for a baby, I'm sorry, I guess I can't answer that for you. Is something wrong?"

"No" I lied again trying to put on my best nonchalant face "Its just routine stuff I guess, listen I need to get out of here for a while, go back to our place, can you stay with her or call Charlie to come for a bit? I will be back at 4" I didn't even wait for a response, I just turned and left.

The drive home was torture, I couldn't get the doctors words out of my head "_Mr. Masen, we also have to face the possibility that without knowing the date of conception that this fetus could have been conceived during the assault." _I don't think there are possibly worse words out there that a man could hear.

I pulled into the parkade and slumped my way upstairs to our condo, the door opened and I was once again greeted by the flashing message light on the phone. I grudgingly pressed play and wrote down the names of the 20 or so missed calls and brief descriptions; too many, "our thoughts are with you guys" and plenty of "Let us know what we can do's" It all seemed so trivial at the moment.

The place felt vacant and empty despite all the warm décor Bella put so much care and attention into, she really had a gift for making this place feel like a home but today it felt more like a prison without her here.

I poured myself a glass of water and sat at the dining room table, my head was pounding and once again those fateful words played through my head _"Mr. Masen, we also have to face the possibility that without knowing the date of conception that this fetus could have been conceived during the assault." _I knew I was dwelling on the worst case scenario, I mean we had been trying for a few months and well we practiced a lot so there was a more likely chance that the child was, is mine. There has to be.

I saw my laptop sitting in its bag next to Bella's on the coffee table, another gesture from Alice I am sure. I went over and opened mine up and had dozens of emails. Work knew I was taking some time off and my best friend since grade school, Emmett, was covering for me at the office. I scrolled through the various updates and trivial items, deleting the messages offering me male enhancement drugs, stupid spamming idiots.

Thoughts were swirling in my head at 90 miles an hour and I had to do something to relieve the pressure, I needed to talk to someone, I needed to talk to Bella, she would be able to tell me everything would be alright and make sense of it all. I missed her immeasurably, the way she would always send me texts or IM's throughout the day, they weren't always naughty although I enjoyed those to no end; she was always updating me on how her day was going or sharing funny stories or even while in meetings when she was supposed to me working she would be typing away to me, all the time people thinking she was taking strict notes. I decided to write my wife a letter, I knew she couldn't answer me but I had to feel closer to her somehow.

Time slipped away from me while I was "talking" to Bella, I wrote about how wonderful that night had started, how beautiful she looked and how I wanted to take her right then and there in the very restaurant. I told her about the attack and how I felt being forced to watch that awful man violate her, I knew I would never be able to tell her to her face but I had to get it out, I could feel the weight lifting off of me and pouring onto the pages. I started to tell her about the joy and thoughts that overcame me when the doctor first told me of the pregnancy and then the grief and sorrow that soon followed when he informed me it might not be mine. By the time I was through writing I had pages saved into the word document, I saved it under a innocuous file entitled "laundry" for that's what it was, my dirty laundry. I could never let Bella or anyone know how I was feeling, I had to be stronger than that, I now had two people to protect.

I closed the laptop and stared up at the ceiling resolved to face the evening, I could feel deep in my heart of hearts that no matter what was to come; we would make it, our love was strong enough to endure this test. Bella was a fighter; I would fight for her and the unborn child if I had to.

I quickly jumped in the shower and then shaved once again, and grabbed a quick bite to eat; Alice had left a plate of muffins on the counter with a little note "Eat me." I chuckled at her gesture and choice of wording, as much my wife's friend as she was; I had grown to love her like a friend too.

The clock soon informed me it was 3:45, time to head back in and face my destiny for lack of a better cliché. I gathered the laptop into its bag and decided to bring it with me incase I was inclined to write more, I needed something to maintain my sanity and worst case scenario, I could always distract myself with work if I had to knowing eventually I would have to return and face reality.

I arrived in Bella's room to find Alice asleep curled up next to her best friend; Jasper was sitting in the corner of the room on one of the hard chairs asleep too. I gently shook Alice's shoulder to wake her and she apologized for falling asleep, I could see that this was all taking a toll on her too and I felt guilty but I knew there was no stopping her.

"Go home you guys, get some rest, I've got it from here." I gave Alice my best attempt at a smile or at least as best I could muster under these circumstances. They left promising to return in the morning.

Sitting on the bed beside Bella I took in all of her beauty, even in her state with just the hint of yellow bruises left on her arms she was beautiful, I looked around the room and made sure I was alone before gently placing my hand on her flat little tummy. My eyes closed and I saw visions of the future, Bella and I walking through the zoo pushing a stroller while a child sat eating popcorn and pointing animatedly at all the animals.

I shook myself out of the fantasy when I once again heard those torturous words _"Mr. Masen, we also have to face the possibility that without knowing the date of conception that this fetus could have been conceived during the assault."_

That same awful haunting voice beckoned me once more and when my eyes opened the Dr was there wheeling in a large white machine with a TV screen on it. "Are you ready Mr. Masen?"


	5. Victory Baby

A/N. Wow, 2 chapters in one day, what can I say I felt inspired. Thank-you to the reviews I have received, I would love more, they do encourage me. please let me know what you think of an angsty Edward. It won't be all torment People, Bella will be back in the neck chapter.

The twilight Characters don't belong to me, I just borrowed them Fron Stephenie Meyer but I don't want to give them back quite yet.

* * *

Was I ready

Was I ready? Is any man ever ready to find out if the child his wife is carrying is his or not? What kind of a question is that?

"I guess I am as ready as I ever will be." The doctor pulled up a chair next to Bella's bed and turned the big machine on; I could see him typing in various numbers, Bella's name and all her info.

"OK, here we go, perhaps you should sit down Edward." I slumped into the seat and as I watched the doctor I now hated for telling me such horrific things slowly raise my wife's gown after explaining to me that they had to fill her bladder first for the procedure, a detail I didn't need to know. I performed my husbandry duties and held my wife's still hand averting my eyes until he said it was safe to look.

"Aaaah, there we are." A grainy gray and black picture appeared on the screen, it looked like something out of an underwater documentary more than the inner workings of my Wife's body. "There, Edward" The doctor said pointing on the screen to a circle about the size of a quarter" "Do you see, this is the gestational sac, I am just going to take a few measurements here" He clicked on the screen with a giant ball of a mouse placing a line along the length of the little sac which looked more like a ball than a baby to me. Numbers appeared on the screen which meant nothing to me, 6w2d whatever that meant; I didn't speak or read Doctor for that fact. "OK, lets just magnify this little image here" he pointed once again to something flashing on the screen, "Mr. Masen, look here, I can without a doubt now tell you that this, right here, this tiny little flashing bulb here is your Baby's heart beating away quite healthily I might add."

I was stunned, I could only stare at the imagine on the screen and at that instant I was smitten by the tiny little bean with the pulsing heart, at that moment I didn't care who's child it was, it was Bella's and therefore ours, I was instantly in love with the little thing, a flashback of my previous vision came to me, Bella and I walking with our child, happy and a family.

"Edward, congratulations!" A smile the size of Christmas morning grew across the doctor's face as he informed me that Bella was just over six weeks pregnant meaning that the child was without a doubt ours, conceived in Love and want, there was no question that I was from this very moment on, a Father.

Tears once again poured out me and I wept for the first time in joy. I was going to be a Daddy! The doctor finished up with a few more measurements and printed off a small picture of our little black and white Bean handing it to me. I felt like I was floating on air, my world had in a matter of moments returned to me with this one gift of a little picture

The Doctor went on again about still having to worry about STD's and what not and that so far Bella was healthy and all tests had come back negative, he explained that until we knew for certain, until the assailant was either caught or 6 months time passed, we would have to use protection anytime we were intimate but at that moment, intimacy was the furthest thought on my mind.

I leaned down placing my lips next to Bella's ear and whispered sweet nothings to her, I told her how beautiful our little bean was and how I couldn't wait to show her the baby's first picture as soon as she woke up, I instantly had vision of turning my home office into a nursery and couldn't wait to take her shopping to decorate it.

Pulling out my laptop once again, I had too much running through my mind to not put some of it down, I wrote another letter to Bella, the Mother of our child, I couldn't believe how good that felt to write, I told her about the vision I had of us pushing a stroller through the zoo and the things I was looking forward to most about being a father. I can't imagine what it will be like to tell people about the miracle growing within her. I knew it was a secret I had to keep for now though, it wasn't my place to share this news alone, I would have to wait until Bella was awake and we could soon tell everyone together and bask in the Love and Joy that we would both feel.

Bella was sleeping peacefully and as Charlie had offered to come in and stay the night with Bella I left after giving my wife a Kiss and a secret pat on her Belly when her Dad wasn't looking. I knew the Doctor would probably sedate me if I hung around overnight again so I made sure he saw me leaving and I slipped out of the door and made my way down to the car.

I had to do something to celebrate this wonderful moment; I quickly called Emmett and asked him to meet me for a drink later, as I had a stop to make first. I drove to the toy store and had to buy my child its first gift. I strolled the aisles looking at the walls of teddy bears fighting to pick out the perfect one. I settled for a medium sized bear that was very soft, it had a small yellow ribbon tied around its neck into a bow tie. Making my purchase I hopped back in the car and drove to the pub around the corner for our place, Emmett's Jeep was waiting in the parking lot.

He could tell instantly by the grin on my face something was up and I couldn't hide it from him, maybe it wouldn't hurt to tell one person. "Dude, I've never seen anyone so happy who's got a wife laying in a hospital bed, well Ok maybe the guys who's wives are laying in the maternity wing but seriously, what's up with you?"

I raised one eyebrow and smiled my half grin at my little secret I was about to spill. "Nothing's gotten into me, just having a good day is all, Bella's fine, not much change in her coma" maybe I could torment him a little longer.

"I don't buy it bro, spill…"

"Dude, can't a guy just enjoy a beer with his buddy and not have something to "spill"? You sound like a girl pleading for gossip." I chuckled and took a sip of the beer he had ordered me.

I felt Emmett's huge arms wrap around my neck into a head lock. "OK, OK, I'll tell you, chill man." He grudgingly released his hold on my now tender neck. "Let's just say when Bella is up and about we are going to need your help to do some renovating around our place… you know I was thinking maybe turning my home office into a nursery."

Beer spat out of his mouth spraying across the bar to a very unimpressed bartender who threw a towel at Emmett in retort. "Are you for real??"

"I just found out today man, I don't even know if Bella knows or not, God I wish she would just wake up and share in this moment. How many guys get to know before their wives that they are having a baby?"

"Congrats man… I mean, I'm sorry about the circumstances and all but wow, Eddie's gonna be a Daddy…hee hee, Poor kid!" Emmett gave me a couple pats on the back before making a vulgar toast to the _fruit of my loins_ always one with words. I hated to admit it but it felt good to laugh and let go.

Finishing our beers we parted ways for the night and he promised to help as soon as I needed it to work on the nursery, I was making my way out the now dark parking lot when I heard a familiar chuckle behind me coming from beside the dumpster around the corner.

I made my way over towards it and was met by a sight I couldn't imagine in my wildest hate filled dreams, it was the tall gun wielding guy from the Alley, the one who held his gun to my face as he forced me to watch his predator of a friend rape my wife. Anger surged and pulsed through my veins, I could feel the adrenaline heightening my senses. I lunged forward my fist connecting with his stone hard jaw, I heard bones cracking but I didn't care as the mountain of a man went flying back onto the pavement and my fists paled into his face again and again. I was blind to the outside world, the only sights and sounds I could comprehend were my body connecting with this scum's tissue.

I felt huge arms pulling me off of him and I struggled and fought to get free, my legs attempting to kick the now unconscious and battered man, I wasn't done with him yet. I could faintly hear Emmett's voice asking what had gotten in to me and I just kept shouting "You did this to her!" over and over again. Emmett must have figured out who he was as the next thing I knew he had thrown me onto the pavement in haste and was now kicking forcefully at the man's ribs.

A crowd had gathered and within seconds was broken up taking three police officers to pull Emmett away from his task. They sat us in the back of a squad car while an Ambulance crew worked on that rat of a human being attempting to save his worthless life. I took pleasure in the fact he was still alive because it would give him time to heal so I could do this all over again. I was going to see him pay for what he did to my wife and child.

Adrenaline was still surging through me and I was panting and gasping for air as they hauled us away to the station, we were put through the process of booking, getting our fingerprints taken and mug shots before being brought into an interrogation room. I explained the story of what had happened and I could tell that I had their sympathies. They called Charlie in who arrived shortly after we did letting him into the room promising we would be good boys if we let them take the cuffs off.

As soon as Charlie was in the room and the door closed behind him he looked at me "Edward, Son good on ya kid, I only with I could have been there to help." A huge sinister grin came across my father in laws face as his hands patted my shoulder. "Of course I am speaking as a father at the moment and as an officer of the law in no way condone what you boys did." A wink squeaked out of the corner of his eye making us both chuckle. "Here's the scoop, The DA is all over this boys, she says that you guys messed that guy up pretty bad but given the circumstances and the fact that he is clinging to his waste of a life, she is merely going to file assault charges against both of you and not attempted murder charges."

I didn't feel an ounce of relief at this news, I wanted that man dead and nothing was going to stop me. Charlie went on to explain that we were being let out on bail for now but would have a hearing in a few weeks time in front of a judge. The only remorse and guilt I was feeling at the moment was for Emmett that he had been dragged into this. He kept trying to assure me that he was an all too willing participant in the matter.

Charlie insisted I go to the hospital and get my hands looked at, but I didn't feel any pain, perhaps it was still the adrenaline pumping through my body or the relief that knowing one of those two wretched excuses for men was lying somewhere in a hospital clinging to life. He led me into the ER of the same hospital Bella was at and after a few X-rays and couple stitches I was released, nothing was broken except the skin over a few knuckles, apparently I had acquired a nice black eye too but I didn't even remember the other guy getting a swing in there, it was a small price to pay for the victory and satisfaction that I felt.

He wouldn't let me stay with Bella tonight insisting it was his shift with her, he let me give her a kiss goodnight and called me a cab to go back to the pub and pick up my car if I promised to not go hunting again tonight. I grudgingly complied with my father in law.

Home felt like a new place when I walked through the door, of course there was an angry message from Alice on the machine telling me what an Idiot I was for risking my life and how I should have let the police handle it. I half listened to her lecture before a beep took over and there was a message from Jasper congratulating me on my victory. I took pride in the fact that as stupid as it was taking on someone who had a good foot on me and at least a hundred pounds I held my own and stood up for my wife the way I couldn't when the coward had a gun pressed into my face.

I showered for the second time today, the doctor had cleaned up my hands as best he could and I was supposed to keep the stitches dry but if it scarred I would gladly wear these talismans with pride for the rest of my life. The hot water felt good on my now tender and aching muscles as I wondered if this was how boxers felt after a match.

Sitting on the edge of the bed a while later I typed out one last note to my Bella, this was becoming my comfort and refuge confessing everything to her.

Once the adrenaline had worn off I was suddenly exhausted and fell back onto the bed, the smell of Bella on the pillow next to me was a comfort, and I hugged her pillows close to my face drifting off into visions of our life once again.

_We had just come home from our honeymoon and were unpacking all of Bella's boxes, she had been sharing an apartment across town with Alice and insisted on waiting till we were married before living together. The unpacking was a slow process as I couldn't keep my hands off of her, the way she would bite the corner of her lip and tilt her head deciding which spot a picture looked best on the mantle was too much for me, I pulled her into my arms right there in front of the glowing fire and made love to her over and over again; The sound of her calling out my name in pleasure was intoxicating. _

_We were now celebrating our first anniversary; Bella had cooked a romantic dinner and fed me spoonfuls of crème Brule by candle light as we sipped fine Merlot while looping in the background was a CD I had recorded for her of her favorite concerto's including the lullaby I had written for her shortly after we met. _

_We were sitting by the fire one night sipping wine as I rubbed her tired feet and she looked up at me with those inviting brown eyes of hers and told me that she wanted to make babies with me and how she thought I would be the world greatest Dad._

Visions and dreams swept through my head all night long and I groaned and stretched to see the sun shining through the windows, I saw my bandaged hand and smiled at the memory of last night still enjoying the spoils of my victory. I was stiff and sore, frankly I felt like I was the one who had gone 3 rounds with Mike Tyson but I didn't care, if this was the price to pay it was minor compared to what that sore bastard must be feeling right about now.

I cleaned myself up as best I could given the state of my tender hands and made my way back to the hospital, I couldn't wait to see Bella again, the night was too long even though she was there with me in my dreams keeping me company.

When I walked in the room Charlie was still there perched dutifully at his daughters' bedside like a good father. I would have to re-pay him someday for the pain it must have caused him last night to be torn away from her to come and bail me out. Thanking him he left for the day and said he'd be back later, he had to go into the Seattle station and check in on the case and file some reports. He had taken a temporary transfer to be closer to us while Bella is recovering. It was moments like this that I missed the family I had long since buried back in Chicago.

Placing a gentle kiss on Bella's forehead and giving two gentle pats to her still flat belly I took my seat beside her. She started to stir once again only this time her mumbles came closer together and started to almost resemble words, I placed my head in my arms listening to her sweet incoherent voice knowing that it could be days before Bella came around; I replayed last nights events in my head remembering the teddy bear I had purchased for our child, I couldn't wait to give it to her.

Bella's hand started to flex in mine and she squirmed trying to get more comfortable, in a quick motion she pulled her arm up towards her face but was met with the resistance of the IV. Her eyes slowly started to open and our eyes met for the first time in eleven days.

"Bella, Oh thank God, I love you, I'm so sorry." I rushed up to her, my face barely inches from hers as I saw her eyes roll silently into the back of her head before sleep once again took her from me.


	6. Waking up

**A/N** Thank-you for the reviews, I would still love more. If you want me to post more, please tell me so. I am open to suggestions. This chapter is back in Bella's perspective, I have to admit though I much prefer being in Edwards head and will revisit it again.

Again, the characters contained here in beong to Stephenie Meyer, they simply came over to play and decided not to leave.

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Beep, beep, beep

What an awful sound, why can't someone make that dreadful beeping stop? The constant rhythm was giving me a terrible headache and that combined with the smell, oh God that smell, what is that awful odor? It smells like death mixed with disinfectant.

I tried to pull my hand up to cover my face but was met with resistance, someone was holding it. My eyes peeked open and slowly focused on a battered and bruised man sitting beside my hospital bed with his head resting on his crossed arms, "Bella, Oh thank God, I love you, I'm so sorry."

I could feel my eyes turning into the back of my head and dreamless sleep once again overtook me.

I could hear people murmuring in the room but couldn't place any of the voices, my head was pounding and waves of nausea had me turning which is only adding to my confusion and angst.

"She's merely fainted, Mr. Masen, I assure you, she is awake and alert." One of the voiced chimed in.

Why must everyone be so loud, can't they tell I am trying to sleep?

"She's awake, get here quick, tell Charlie too… Yes I know, can you believe it?" a deep voiced whispered from somewhere in the dark. I could now hear footsteps and the sounds of people shuffling about busily but I was still swirling in a gray fog of beeping.

Charlie? I know that name, why do I know that name so well? Is my name Charlie? No, No that's not it…

"Well we can turn these off now I suppose." The annoying beeping sound dampened and then faded to silence to my sweet relief.

"Bella? Bella, can you hear me? Mrs. Masen?" a female voice now chimed in the room…

Of course, I can hear her, she's shouting, but who is she talking to and when will she leave, I just want to sleep. Why am I so tired? Maybe if I concentrated I could go back to sleep and they would all go away.

Relief found me in the form of a wonderful dream _Alice and I were at dinner, toasting to our graduation at a swanky restaurant, I had grudgingly given in and even let her play dress up choosing my outfit which in my opinion didn't leave much to the imagination; I guess to anyone else it would be perfectly acceptable but I felt like I was on display."A toast, to the two most beautiful graduates I know." Jasper proclaimed as he planted a tender kiss on Alice's cheek causing her to blush. They were so cute together. I couldn't believe 4 years of college were finally behind us, we were leaving home and moving into an apartment together the next day having both recently scored jobs at the same publishing house, Alice would be working in the art department and I would be a junior editor. our lives lay before us like open journals just waiting for us to fill in the pages. We chatted and laughed for hours planning and conspiring our future, dessert soon arrived in the form of a handsome waiter with dark copper hair and the most stunning green eyes I had ever seen, he looked more like a model than a waiter, my mouth watered at the very sight of this Adonis standing in front of me offering me a scintillating cheesecake "Bella, you hoo, space cadet…"Alice chuckled out before I snapped out of my trance. The godlike man placed the sweet cake in front of me and gave me this sexy crooked smile that melted me down to my core before he winked and walked away. We were soon preparing to leave and head out to a salsa club a few door down, I was slipping into my bolero when I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Miss, that is my job" Two strong hands slowly slid the jacket up my arms allowing his thumbs to trail just inside the fabric sending shivers of lightening through me. The mystery hands belonged to a voice that bent in to whisper in my ear, "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever gazed upon, I have been trying to get the courage all night to come over and talk to you, I paid your waiter fifty bucks to let me bring you your dessert." My jaw dropped at this thought, why would a stranger go to such lengths to meet me? I spun around and was met with those emeralds that had brought me my delectably sweet treat. Heat and excitement started to build through me as without even asking he reached down for my hand placing a single soft kiss upon the back while he slipped a business card into it before he turned and walked away._

A huge grin was plastered across my face as I started to become more and more aware of my surroundings, I was lying down, and the room smelled like a pungent mixture of disinfectant and something else that made my stomache churn, I couldn't place. I could feel hands in mine as I slowly started to stretch my fingers and twisted up onto my left side, anything to get more comfortable and perhaps return to my sweet reverie. "Bella, Honey, are you awake?" Alice's voice rang gently into my ear and as I slowly opened my eyes I was met with my best friends pixie life face, a tear stained grin stretched across her face and she leaned in placing her forehead against mine, "Oh Bella, I have missed you so much!" Why would Alice miss me, I'm right here?

"Welcome back Bella" Jasper's smile peeked out from behind Alice's right shoulder as he placed a hand on my shoulder giving me 2 gentle pats.

My Dad chuckled and pushed past them leaning in to give me a kiss on the forehead "I love you kiddo, don't ever scare me like that again! You hear me?" Scare him? Why is everyone fussing?

"Alice? What's going on, why is everyone acting so weird and why are you all in my roo…"realization suddenly fell upon me that I wasn't at home in my room but in a sterile and cold hospital room. Fear and panic soon took over and I looked to Alice for answers.

"Bella, I don't think I am the one to give you those answers." She nodded her eyes in the direction of my left shoulder, I followed her gaze, turning my body onto my back once again, taking a deep breath while my head made the final turn and my lips were met with a tender and loving kiss. I pulled back in wonder and was met with dazzlingly beautiful tear filled emerald eyes boring into me with fire and raw love.

"Alice?? I started to breathe faster and faster as the panic escalated "Why is the guy that pretended to be our waiter kissing me?"

Confusion and pain slipped across his plastered grin which soon met the panic of mine.

His lips moved slowly "Bella, Love, Honey, it's me!"

To say I was confused was an understatement; did we have an accident on our way to the salsa club? Is that why I am here? Alice sensing my discomfort sat next to me on my bed and gently placed both hands on my shoulders meeting my face square on. "Bella? Sweetie, you must be so confused, you've been in a coma honey, you guys were attacked, Do you remember?"

"No, I don't remember… I've been in a coma? Really? For how Long?"

"Eleven days Hun. You gave us all a scare, we've all been here with you, well at least when Edward wouldn't kick us out, he has barely left your side Hun, I'll let him explain everything."

I was fighting a myriad of emotions; confusion, anger, sadness, despair. "Alice, why would he stay with me and kick you guys out, I just met him the once?"

With those words I saw every jaw in the room drop; I could hear the shock in the room, but what had I done wrong? The handsome Edward who apparently had barely left my side in eleven days leaned closer to me "Bells, do you not remember anything about what happened?"

I shook my head NO as tears were flooding down my cheeks. What weren't they telling me? His arms wrapped around me and I felt stiff and uncomfortable being held and comforted by a stranger. Why weren't my family the ones holding me and trying to ease my confusion?

His voice was gentle and calming as he rubbed circles onto my back "It's Ok, I'm here, everything is going to be alright now, and we will get through this together Love."

Together? Love? We? What was this guy's issue? Just then the door to my room burst open and a man in a white lab coat walked in followed by Jasper, I hadn't even noticed that Jasper had left the room, he introduced himself as "Dr. Stark" and took a seat on the edge on my bed. The others backed away placing themselves against the wall.

The scene looked more like a funeral than a happy Reunion. The Doctor looked me square in the eyes, he must have sensed my panic and he turned towards my Dad and Alice suggesting they step outside for a few moments. His eyes never made their way to the other side of the room where the strange Edward sat. Why wasn't he asking him to leave as well I wondered?

"Bella, how are you feeling?" His voice had a very serious undertone to it.

"Confused, scared, I don't quite understand all this."

"You were assaulted 11 days ago Bella, You sustained many injuries, the most grievous of which was a serious closed head injury, you were pushed backwards and your head struck the pavement, your brain was bruised during the impact and started to swell; luckily the swelling wasn't bad enough that we had to operate but it placed a serious strain on your brain, it is perfectly normal to be confused and scared. I would be too given the circumstances."

Words eluded me and I just stared at him, my eyes shifting from him to Edward.

"Bella, you have a very devoted husband there, he barely left his side and almost killed himself along the way, and we even had to sedate him just to get him to sleep."

My jaw dropped "Hu... Husband? He's not my husband, I, I'm not married"

Confusions grew across the young Doctors face as he spoke "Bella, I need you to take a deep breath and tell me what you remember."

"I'm so confused… This is too much…." I started to sob uncontrollably, I could feel my chest tightening and I started to hyperventilate. My fingertips started to tingle from the increase of oxygen in my system and the room started to spin. I could feel tender arms around me as I felt a sharp stab of pain in my left arm. Warmth and fuzziness started to creep through me from my toes up, I felt strange, my body following my actions a second or two behind their intentions.

"Bella, I just gave you some Ativan, it will help you relax a little, how do you feel now?"

"Funny, Drunk"

"Good, good… you just rest now and we will talk about this some more later." I could feel the bed shifting as two bodies got up off of it. Their feet shuffled them over to the corner of the room and their voices trailed off to a whisper. "This has been a lot for her to take in all at once, we will have to assess her after the meds wear off, I think it best for now if we take things slowly with her, she's suffered a great emotional trauma as well as a physical one, and we can't overwhelm her."

"Dr. Stark, that drug you just gave her, is it ok, you know for the Baby?"

"Mr. Masen, there are truly no safe medications during pregnancy, everything has risks but we have to outweigh the benefits against those risks, Ativan has been known to cause birth defects at later stages in pregnancy but the stress she is under; the chance of her having a break down would cause far more damage and I assure you I wouldn't put the fetus at risk if it wasn't necessary. Your wife's health is our first priority. She will be out for a few hours most likely, I would tell you to go home and rest but I think I know better." I heard the door open and close but only one set of footsteps leaving.

I felt a gentle kiss on my forehead and a hand sliding my hair back, "Just rest now Bella, I'm here."

The drunken feeling running through my body were losing the battle against sleep, "I have so many questions"

"Not now love, you will have all the answers when you wake up, just rest now."

I don't know who this hypnotic voice belongs to but I like it. "I heard you talking about a baby, is someone having a baby?" my words were now becoming more of a slur and I could distinctly feel drool starting to slip out the corner of my mouth.

"Yes love, we are, ssssh, sleep now" he cooed in my ear.

"That's nice…" and darkness finally won the battle.


	7. Making memories

The characters contained in this story are sadly not mine, they belong to Stephenie Meyer, they just come out to play at my house.

Adult content and language in this chapter

I was asked to add a lemon as well so I did, I hope you like it as we once again join Edward waiting patiently at his wife's bedside.

Please, let me know what you think; Should there be more lemons? More angst? Do we like Edward Dark and Moody? DO we want more from Bella's perspective?

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I slumped back into the chair once more taking a perch at my wife's side letting out a quiet chuckle; Bella never handled medications well, or alcohol for that fact. I was grateful to have my Love back but I couldn't help shaking a feeling that all wasn't right in the world.

Charlie, Alice and Jasper came back into the room and I did my best to explain to them what the doctor had said about taking things slowly. Relief washed over everyone's faces when they saw Bella sleeping peacefully for once, the lost expression no longer plastered across her face, she once again slept like an Angel.

The doctors assurance that she would sleep for a few hours was comforting, Alice had promised to stay with her just in case she woke up but I was going to go back to the condo and pick up a few of Bella's things. I was starting to feel scruffy again and wanted to freshen up for her.

Jasper, Charlie and I made our way down the elevator and out to our respective vehicles laughing all the way, it was like the last 2 weeks worth of stress had quickly been washed off of all of us and we all found our steps lighter, weights had been removed off all of our shoulders; I at this very moment had never been more grateful to these two men standing at my sides reminding me once again that my family was right here with me. Until I had met Bella, I had been alone in this world having buried my own parents years before after they had both passed, Mom had fought a brave battle with breast cancer and to everyone it looked like she would pull through but having been through chemo during flu season she contracted pneumonia and died 2 weeks before her 42nd birthday. Dad lasted only a year longer than her, he had turned to drinking and completely gave up on life, one day he drank himself into a stupor and just never woke up.

My new found family parted ways for the afternoon, Alice would stay with Bella until I returned tonight around dinner time, Jasper pulled me aside as I was just about to climb into the car, "Edward, listen man I gotta talk to you a sec, there is something I have been wanting to do for years and all of this just makes we want it even more. I'm going to propose to Alice and I wanted to check with you first, I know its probably bad timing and all but after watching you almost lose Bella, I can't wait another moment to make that woman my wife."

"Jasper, My friend, I think we could all use a little good news and now that Bella is awake, I think it's the perfect time."

"Tonight it is then… phew." Relief poured out of Jasper as I chuckled outwardly at his relief.

I gave him a slap on the back before he turned and walked off to his own car. I was genuinely happy for them, they'd been together two years when I had first met them, and it was about time he was going to make an honest woman out of Alice. I knew Bella would be thrilled too.

As I walked into the condo it once again felt like home to me, the walls no longer seemed stark and white, they were once again a honey brown colour and reflected the warmth of the afternoon sun. A smile grew on my face as I remembered the day we found this place, I had wanted to buy a house for Bella, money wasn't an issue with my job and inheritance but she wanted to stay in the city, it was closer to work and she liked being close to Alice, we found this huge penthouse condo and despite her griping about the cost she allowed me to buy it for her as a wedding gift but not before threatening to get me an elaborate gift in return.

The message icon on the phone was once again flashing for me but I decided to ignore it for the time being, I just wanted a few moments to myself, I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and for the first time in weeks sat at my piano and started to play. The ivory felt like satin under my fingers and all the emotions I had bottled up poured out of me and filled the place with melody. My mother had forced me into piano lessons as a child and I had what they called an "ear" for music, I hardly ever read music, I could hear a piece played once and then recreate it from memory before usually adding my own twist to things which always drove my teachers crazy, it wasn't long before they all refused to work with me. I played one last melancholy F sharp before downing the last of my beer. This particular piano would always hold memories for me; it was a wedding gift from Bella. I smiled as I floated off into the memory.

_We had just returned from our honeymoon, we'd been home only three or four days, Bella was still unpacking her boxes, I had moved in a week before the wedding and she refused to let me in to the den, I obliged her and never once peeked in the locked room. It was my first day back at work and when I arrived home, the place was silent, the only notion I had that she was even home was a note left for me pinned to the fridge by a magnet "_Mr. Masen, go upstairs, take a shower and wait for my next instruction."_ Bella was up to something, she always was! I followed my instructions and dutifully washed myself. _

_When I stepped out of the shower I found my clothes had been stolen and in their place was a back tuxedo complete with tails and a top hat; I liked where this was going. On the mirror written in dark red lipstick was another message from Bella _"you are cordially invited to a private performance in the den" I_ now really liked where this was going. _

_Remembering I had a gift for Bella I had been waiting for the right moment to give to her; I went into my dresser and pulled out the box that had been in my family for decades, it was a beautiful 22 inch long pearl necklace, there was nothing sexier than an elegant woman in pearls. I tucked the box into the inside pocket of my tux and made my way downstairs. _

_On the door to the den was a red envelope that contained an old fashioned skeleton style key with a black satin ribbon tied around it. I eagerly placed the key in the door and as I heard the soft click of the mechanisms my jaw dropped as the room came in to view. _

_Bella had the room completely remodeled, all 4 walls were now solid mirror; the only exception being the slate fireplace where a warm fire roared, in the center of the room hung a cascading crystal chandelier that was turned on to the lowest setting softly illuminating the room on a warm glow, the floor had even been redone in a cherry coloured hard wood but the detail that stood out the most was the solid Ebony Satin finished Steinway Model D concert series Grand Piano. _

_My jaw dropped as perched on the bench was none other than my Bella draped in a floor length red satin ball gown complete with evening gloves. "Play for me Edward" she commanded as she handed me a cold glass of champagne. I tried to fight back the tear that was forming as Bella had re-created one of my fantasies down to the smallest detail._

_I obeyed and sat on the bench placing my fingers on the keys, the Ivory and ebony felt like satin, I had always dreamed of playing in a grand concert hall on this very piano but life never worked that way._

_Music flooded out of me and the acoustics in the room had obviously been perfected in our absence, there were no echo's as I looked up to find sound absorbers hanging inside the chandelier hidden behind folds of fabric and hidden throughout the room. _

_Bella stood behind me with her gloved hands on my shoulders, her body pressed up against mine, as I played the final key in the lullaby I had composed for her I felt her warm lips at my ear telling me how beautiful the song sounded on my new Piano. I was shocked and elated that this enormously expensive gift was for me, perhaps she had finally accepted the fact that my money was now ours, I didn't begrudge her spending the money in the least. I turned my body around to face her, she was radiant, her hair had been styled in a 1920's flapper fashion, tight curls pinned in place, her red lipstick matched the dress that hung to her every curve perfectly, there was only one small detail missing from her outfit and I had just the thing to complete it. _

_I pulled her down to the bench next to me and then sat behind her, I placed her hands on the keys placing mine on top of hers, flesh on satin graced the keys as I played notes with her fingers before trailing my hands up her arms and reached into my pocket before placing the pearls around her supple neck, they hung perfectly caressing the very top of her round breasts, I fastened the clasp and tenderly placed a kiss on the back of her neck. _

_Fire coursed through my veins and my thoughts turned to sweet blissful passion, this was to be a romantic night and Bella had gone to a lot of work to achieve her goal, I would make this night last forever and savor every second of it._

_Her head tilted back exposing the soft part of her neck just below the ear, she tasted succulent like honey and freesia, a quiet moan betrayed her escalating excitement. _

"_Mr. Masen, would you kindly go to the kitchen and pour us some more champagne?" _

_Leaving the room was the furthest thing from my mind but I obediently stood up but not before placing a heat filled kiss on her that left even me weak in the knees._

_In the kitchen sat an ice bucket and an open bottle of Dom Perignon, she really went all out tonight, I poured two glasses before making my way back to the den to which the door was closed once again. I slipped both glasses into my left hand and pulled out the key once again unlocking the door._

_To my surprise when I opened the door the lights were out and the only light source in the room was a roaring fire, my heart stopped as I turned to see Bella lying across my new Piano wearing nothing but Red stiletto heels, her new pearl necklace and my top hat. _

_The glow from the fire danced across her supple curves, her right arm beckoning me forward in a come hither motion. I dropped the champagne glasses right then and there letting them crash to the floor and slid over to my wife. If it were anyone else perched atop a hundred thousand dollar piano I would have had a heart attack._

_I was standing next to her now, a huge grin plastered across her face, "You like your gift? I know it's a little extreme and ostentatious but I hope you like it"_

"_Mrs. Masen, this has to be the single handed greatest day of my life, well with the exception of the day you married me of course"_

"_Is that so?" She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the soft curve of my piano placing one of her sharp stilettos into either side of my hips, she gently pulled at the tails of my bow tie until it unwound in her very capable hands and she slid it out of my collar, its tail falling across her naked breasts, her perky and very alert breasts. I wanted to bite them right then and there but I knew it was a tender romantic night she had in mind. _

_She slowly, painstakingly slowly unbuttoned each and every button on my shirt before sliding my jacket to the floor, she caressed my chest and abs, trailing her finger slowly down my front and dragging her brightly painted red nails across my skin. It felt like she was drawing a line of fire as I could feel my erection pressing against my pants wanting to escape and find her warmth. She slid her fingers under the waistband of my pants and undid the button and clasp, dragging the zipper down with her fingers. I felt sudden relief as my confined body sprung forward in an eager salute._

"_MMM" she moaned to me and she released her grip on my pants as they fell to my feet. Her warm hand slid up my chest and across my shoulders releasing my shirt from my arms and it too joined the growing pile of clothing on the floor._

_I now stood next to my gloriously naked wife in nothing but a pair of black boxer-briefs, she pulled one of her legs up onto the piano and my first thought as I saw her high heel drag across the glossy paint was for the piano's luster, t that was until I noticed one of her other gifts to me. My tongue wet my lips as I realized Bella had done some maintenance at the spa, she was completely bald. That was it, all restraint was lost and my mouth quickly crashed into hers, my tongue begging for entrance into hers which she eagerly allowed._

_Our tongues fought for dominance but I let her win as I pulled back leaving a trail of kisses down her neck before finding her plump pink nipples, I tenderly licked and sucked them to Bella's pleased moans, her hands gripping into my hair tugging gently in their twisting motion, God Damn that felt good._

"_Edward, I love you." She panted to me_

"_I love you too Bella" I replied in a hungry voice._

"_Edward, I want you to fuck me, now, right here on your fancy piano, Fuck me till I beg you to stop!"_

_Who was this God of a woman? I dove in and tore my own boxers off while I climbed on top of her and the piano, I kissed every inch of her from her toe to her knee and made my way up to her sweet center, I pushed her knees gently apart as I climbed in between her lean legs, her now bare skin was supple and wet with excitement, she smelled musky and inviting, I dove in taking her peak into my mouth and pulsed it between my teeth and tongue, moans erupted from her and her hands were once again tugging at my hair, the flicking of my tongue hastened as she neared her climax screaming out my name in between curses._

_I lapped up every drop of sweet juice her body produced and purred a moan to her as she pulled me up to her by the chin. "Fuck me hard Edward"_

_I wasn't going to refuse her request, I positioned myself at her juicy opening slowly entering at first and pulling back out, she was moaning at my teasing and growing impatient, "Edwaaaaard." _

_I thrust into her with all of my strength filling every inch of her, she was tight and warm. The friction was building as we gained in speed, her body moving in rhythm with mine bucking her hips to meet my thrusts. I could feel her walls start to tighten as I knew she was nearing her release, I pulled myself up higher on my arms so I was hitting her G-spot with every hard thrust, she was panting, her bottom lip clenched between her teeth as she threw her head back in pleasure, I could feel the pearl necklace bouncing on her breasts as I felt my peak coming on, she squeezed her legs into me holding herself even tighter as we rocked and bucked out every last drop of Ecstasy together. Finally succumbing to the release I fell onto her, our sweat drenched bodies molding together gasping for air, I placed a gentle kiss on her cheek as I climbed over and lay face down beside her on the slick black ebony top._

"_mmm, Edward" she proclaimed as we panted trying to catch our breath._

_I slid off the Piano and pulled her wet body to mine, taking her up into my arms and wrapping her legs around my waist. "Bella, you haven't begged me to stop yet" I once again kissed and nipped at the tender side of her neck as I carried her over to the mirrored wall thrusting her against it, her damp body squeaking against the cold glass. She quickly responded by nipping at my ear as I thrust into her once again lifting her up and down my torso filling her with my length, she came down with force and I could feel myself nearing climax again but I held on, I wanted to hear her scream, I tilted my pelvis into her once again finding her sweet spot, her nails dug into my back breaking the skin as her walls clamped around me, I thrust even harder encouraged by the pain, I refused to let her stop her pleasure for one second, as soon as she would start to come down from the high I would once again thrust harder and faster into her riding out the waves of passion until finally she begged me to stop after her fourth climax, with a final thrust I released myself into her._

_Her legs now dripping slid down me and her body glistened from head to toe._

"_OK Bella, you win, THIS was the best day of my life."_

_She winked at me and teasingly bit at a pearl on the strand "hmm, whatever will I come up with for our first anniversary?"_

That was it, the memory was a little too intense and I decided to hop into the shower and relieve my growing pressure before heading back to see Bella at the hospital.

I rummaged through Bella's drawers and packed up some belongings for her, I made sure to grab her favorite book and her laptop in case she would be getting bored laying in a hospital. Who knows how long they will be keeping her in there.

Finally giving in to the annoying flashing red light I listened to the phone messages, there was one from work asking me if I knew how much longer I would be off and another from the district attorney's office suggesting I hire a lawyer before I see the judge next week. I wish I could say that I wasn't worried for my future but I was, I had a wife and child coming who would both need me, I don't regret beating that creep senseless but the thought of possible jail time and being away from them brought a stabbing pain over my heart.

I decided I would worry about it tomorrow, I'm sure Charlie could recommend a few names to me and of course I would pay for Emmett's lawyer too, I got him into this and I sure as hell was going to cover his back.

The ride to the hospital was typical but the sight when I walked into my Love's room was not. Bella was awake and sitting up in bed with Alice at her side talking, they both turned and looked up at me as I entered the room. Alice quickly bolted to my side and asked to speak to me outside.

"Edward, she just woke up, I was about to call you." I could see she was pained talking to me now, there was something she was hiding from me "It seems as though she has some memory loss from her head injury, they just paged her doctor to come in but Edward, it's as though your life together has been erased from her memory."

I stood in front of Alice blinking, it was the only physical action I was capable of, my body and mind were betraying me and I was at a complete loss.

"Maybe you should sit down for a minute" I obliged and slid down the wall behind me until I was seated on the floor.

"What ,Alice?" confusion strained my voice "What do you mean erased?"

"She remembers meeting you Edward but that's it, she doesn't remember you guys dating, getting married or any of the past 5 years you've spent together, she has all the other memories, everything but you!"

I couldn't grasp what Alice was telling me, how was this possible? You can't erase someone from your memory? Just then her Doctor rounded the corner and entered her room, he spent a good twenty minutes in there talking to her before he finally came out to face us.

"Mr. Masen, would you join me in my office please?" All hope fell from me as I remembered the last time I had been asked to join him in his office. I followed him down the short hallway and took a seat on the same chair as before.

"It would seem that Bella has Traumatic Amnesia, this of course is a very atypical case, usually in an event such as this it isn't uncommon to lose the memory of the assault but it would appear as if Bella is so traumatized that she has blocked out all memories leading up to this night. Her cognitive memory is intact; she can remember events about work and social situations up until the day of the assault. This is quite a fascinating case really."

My life is crumbling around me and this guy thinks its fascinating.

"Of course we do hope she will regain these memories once she has dealt with the issues, we are going to transfer out of the ICU today and move her down to the medical ward, we will have a psychologist work with her and help her through this and of course we will also arrange a check up with one of our OB/GYN's. I know given this news it will put a lot more strain on your Mr. Masen but I do encourage you to carry on with life as normal, just give her some space and don't rush her, she is bound to be frustrated with waking up to learn she is married and expecting a child."

I was about to interrupt him when the doctor raised his hand to stop my protest.

"I haven't discussed the pregnancy with her yet, I thought that perhaps that be left up to you although I do recommend you have her friend there with her in case she needs support. Edward…" He placed a paternal comforting hand on my shoulder "We will do everything we can to help Bella get all of her memory back, just be patient."

Patient? I now had to tell my wife whom at this very moment thinks I am simply the guy who hit on her in a restaurant that she is indeed married and expecting my child. Yeah patience are really going to help with that.

I took a few deep and cleansing breaths and made my way back down the hallway to Bella's room, fear escalating with every step.

For the first time in 5 years I knocked on the door to the room my wife was in as if she were a stranger.

"Bella, may I come in?" I shyly asked.

"Err, Yes Edward." She replied.

When I entered I could tell she was nervous, she was writhing her hands together the way she always did when she was anxious.

Alice was seated beside her on the bed patting her hands gently, she looked up at me offering a comforting smile encouraging me to go on.

"How are you feeling Bella?" It was so awkward to talk to her this way when all I wanted to do was scoop her up and cradle her in my arms sheltering her from all this pain.

"I'm OK I guess, a little confused, this is all just so crazy and new to me." She looked down at her hands and began to wring them once again.

"I'm not going to push or rush you Love, I just want to talk, I am sure you are very scared at the moment but I want you to know that I love you with all that I am, you are my world Bella, the life we have built together means more to me that I can possibly express and I will do everything I can to help you get those memories back." I could tell my proclamation made her uncomfortable but I had to tell her how much she meant to me.

She let out a nervous chuckle, "so, I hear we got hitched?"

"Yes Bella, we have been married for three years, we met five years ago the night you graduated, you and Alice were having dinner and I saw you from across the room, I slipped your waiter a fifty to let me deliver you your dessert." A smile erupted on my face at the memory once again.

"I remember that night; you helped me with my jacket and slipped me your business card."

"That's right Bella, you called me later that night on my cell phone and we stayed up all night talking, you met me for breakfast in the morning and we spent the whole day together."

Bella started to shake her head and the look of confusion grew on her face before starting to turn to stress, it was clear she didn't remember our life past that very first meeting. "Its OK, we can take a trip down memory lane another time perhaps."

She seemed comforted by the fact that I was willing to be patient with her. I would wait forever if I had to but I knew I had to break the news to her before she accidentally found out from some random Doctor.

"Bella, there is something I need to tell you and it is probably going to scare you a little. No one will blame you for being scared or confused." She turned and looked to Alice who in turn looked up at me.

I sat on the foot of her bed giving her space but I wanted to feel some part of her body against mine. I placed my hand on the blankets above her leg and leaned in to deliver the news.

"Love, like I was saying, we've been married for 3 years now, we have a very happy life together, we live in a beautiful penthouse condo that you decorated yourself, it is our home and I can't wait to have you back there with me." I smiled my crooked smile at her which she responded to by blushing; this was going OK so I pressed on a little further. "Bella, there isn't an easy way to tell you this and I am so very sorry that this is the situation in which you are finding out but Love, we are having a baby."

Alice and Bella's eyes both bulged out to me, they looked like two deer trapped in headlights. "Bella, you are six weeks pregnant."


	8. Acceptance

A/N Thank-you for all the wonderful reviews and encouragement on the lemon chapter. This chapter goes out to Bex23 for her enthusiasm and generous spirit.

The twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I have just kidnapped their likeness. :)

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Acceptance

Pregnant? I think I sat there frozen staring into space for at least five minutes before I even remembered how to breathe. This was too much, I felt like life as I knew it had been a rug pulled out from underneath me and I was dangling upside down from a twentieth story balcony held onto only by my shoe laces.

Now not only did I have a husband that I don't know, there is a small innocent child thrown into the mix. So much for taking things slow! A Child? A Baby? My Baby; Our Baby? My hands instinctively slid down my body and rest upon my still flat stomach, I didn't feel pregnant so surely this has to be some sort of a mistake!

Edward sat there frozen in his gaze judging my reaction, his eyes fixed fervently on my face, and he looked terrified. "Bella, talk to me, are you OK?" He looked so sad and pained in that moment that I was feeling pain for him, I couldn't explain why I felt that way but I knew I didn't want to see him hurting. I was surprised that I felt an urge to protect him.

"It's just a lot to take in all at once, just this morning I found out that I am married to a man I can only remember meeting once and now I am having his baby, your baby." I could feel my anxiety building once again in my chest, my breathing started to escalate in pace and my palms were sweating as the room started to spin.

"Bella! Breathe baby just breathe." Edward's hands were now on my shoulders holding me back on the reclined mattress, his eyes merely inches from mine; piercing emeralds boring into my soul. "I'm here Love, everything will be OK, slow deep breaths now."

My eyes fell over to Alice who still sat beside me paralyzed with shock, her mouth agape. She quickly snapped to and rushed out of the room in a fury.

Edward just stood there holding my gaze, all I could focus on were his eyes, it was like looking into a painting and knowing you've seen it somewhere before but never having been to an Art Gallery. He kept chanting at me to Breathe, and I finally remembered how. My vision started to crisp again and I could once again see his whole face, his painfully handsome face; A crooked half grin crept across his cheek as he saw me starting to calm down; he took a seat on the bed beside me, his hip resting against mine; My body longed to fall into his arms in a natural instinct but my mind was fighting a battle that I still didn't know this man.

My doctor and Alice burst into the room and flew to my side, a syringe in hand. "Stop, she doesn't need drugs" Edward commanded "She's OK, just give her a minute!"

I was Ok, or at least I would be soon. My breathing was regulating and I could feel my pulse slowing as my hands unclenched off my belly.

Dr. Stark addressed me "Bella, how are you feeling?" He asked in a tender voice.

"I… I… I think I just freaked out a little, but I'm OK, at least I think I am."

"OK then, let's just check you out here, if I may?" He took my left arm and started counting my pulse, timing it against his watch. He then slid a blood pressure cuff up onto my arm pumping it up until I felt my arm was going to explode. "Bella, I think you just had another panic attack, do you know what brought this on? Did you have a memory?"

"No, No memory it was Edward, he just told me that I'm pregnant!" I almost spat the last word out with shock.

"Ah, I see, how do you feel about that Bella? I am sure that was quite a shock to you: Your husband here told me that before the assault you two had been trying to conceive and this pregnancy was planned. Do you remember any of that?" He had a quizzical look about him now.

"No, I don't remember any of it, the last thing I remember was sitting in my office talking to Alice about her plans for the weekend and that I was going to dinner but I can't remember why or with whom." I genuinely felt sad at this knowledge assuming it was Edward I would have been meeting.

"This is quite a fascinating case Bella, it isn't at all like a typical traumatic amnesia case, usually patients will block out or lose the memory of the attack itself but its like you have blocked out Edward himself."

My eyes ventured next to me where Edward slowly got up off the bed, turning his back to me and placing his hand against the wall in a tight fist. I could clearly see the clenched muscles flexing across his back, my body again longed to reach out to him in comfort but reason winning out once again; I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Just try and rest Bella, in a while we will be transferring you downstairs to another ward, where you will be much more comfortable, I am going to arrange for you to meet with a few different Doctor's and see if we can't get some of this straightened out."

Dr. Stark gave me two pats on my leg before turning and leaving. Alice sensing the tension in the room walked over and put her hand on Edwards shoulder, he turned, falling into a hug in her small arms. A pain stabbed through my chest as my arms longed to be the ones holding and comforting him.

"Alice" Edward straightened him, adjusting his shirt "If it's alright with Bella, do you think I could have a few moments alone with her?"

Alice's eyes bolted to mine in a questioning manner and I gave her a small meek nod.

"How about I go and get us some coffee, Edward here is wasting away on us, can I get you anything else?" Her question wasn't addressed to me.

"No, Alice, just the coffee, I don't think I could eat anything right now." He blinked but his eyes remained closed for longer than necessary. His chest rose as he took a long deep breath before turning his back on me once again as Alice flitted out of the room.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I know this all must be so hard on you too. I feel bad that I don't remember, like this is all my fault somehow." I couldn't finish the sentence and Edward flew to my side, his hand cupped to my cheek.

"Don't you ever say that! Never! This was in no way your fault Love, I was the weak one, I couldn't protect you, it was my job to protect you from all the bad in the world and I failed you." A single tear formed in his eye fighting to escape. "There were two of them and one had a gun, he held it to my face before the other one appeared, I was frozen, I couldn't move, I couldn't defend you." The tear finally betrayed him and slid down his cheek as tears too began to well in my eyes. "I honestly don't blame you for not remembering, I wouldn't want you to, what that man did to you Bella, I will never get that image out of my mind, I have never felt less like a man than at that very moment when I saw the terror in your eyes. When he threw you to the ground and I heard your head hitting the pavement, I thought that was it, that you were gone from me forever" He began to sob "Bella, I am so sorry."

My arms reached out and pulled him into a hug as his sobbing took over, his body shaking in agonizing gasps for air. I didn't know what to do or say to comfort him, I simply stroked his hair. After a few minutes his sobbing ceased and he sat back up wiping away his tears; there was something on his face at that moment that awoke part of my mind, I genuinely cared for this stranger. I studied his face intently, hoping my memories would come back to follow this compassion I felt for him but I was stumped.

"Edward, this attack, it happened 12 days ago?"

"Yes Love, it was the night of our third anniversary."

"And we were both hurt?"

"Bella, please, I can't bring myself to say the words what that beast did to you while you lay there unconscious."

"Its Ok Edward, I think I know." I looked down into my hands and they started to wring together on their own accord. "I was just wondering though, if it's been 12 days, why do your bruises look so fresh?"

"Oh, that" He smiled his crooked grin at me once again, I could really get used to that smile. "2 nights ago, I met Emmett for a drink to celebrate the news, about the baby, I had just found out and had to tell someone, I was leaving the pub and I heard one of the two men from that night in the Alley."

"And he attacked you again? Oh Edward…" I reached out to touch his bruised face.

"Not exactly, I don't remember it that well myself, it's all just a blur, I just remember seeing red and it was like an animal instinct within me took over; next thing I knew it I was in the back of a police car with Emmett, my hands were all bloody."

"Did, did you kill him?" I shied inward at the question.

"No" It came our more like a growl than an answer "He's still alive, badly hurt but unfortunately still alive." He once again rose and stood facing the wall, fists clenched pressing into it.

I didn't know how to answer him; I was torn, I was angry and mad that someone would do this to me, to us, but I also couldn't bare the thought of this beautiful creature before me taking someone's life no matter how little they deserved to live it.

"Edward, you said there were two of them? Did you hurt both of them?"

"No, only the one was there." He turned to face me once again, fire in his eyes "But if I ever see that man, the one who threw you to the ground and touched you, if I ever find him Bella, I swear to God the last thing that man feels will be pain as he begs for death."

His teeth clenched in anger.

I could feel panic starting to build again at the thought of him being anywhere near either of those men. "Promise me something" I begged him, "Promise me you won't go hunting for him." I paused waiting for the fire in his eyes to subside but there was no reprieve "I can't explain why but I don't think I could bare the thought of you getting hurt, or worse."

With those words Edward took my hand into his pulling it up to his soft lips placing a gentle kiss on the back. A smile started to grow as his glare returned to a warm loving state.

Alice knocked before entering the room, she had coffee in her hand for Edward which he took with a smile, "You are too good to me Hun." A wicked grin grew across his face. "So you and Jasper have any plans tonight?"

Alice looked puzzled at Edwards' expression," He said something about dinner but he didn't go into much detail… Oh sorry Bella, I can cancel our plans and stay here with you."

I didn't get to answer her as Edward interrupted me before I could even form a word "NO! No, you go out, you guys need some time together, Bella will be OK, won't you Bella?"

I was taken aback at his bold statement but sensed he had an ulterior motive.

"Go Alice, I will be OK, will you come back tomorrow though?"

"Of course chica, bright and early!" With that she gave me a kiss on the forehead and sauntered out of the room.

An awkward silence grew as I now had an evening before me with this beautiful stranger. He took the seat next to the bed perhaps sensing I was feeling a little overwhelmed. I wanted to joke to lighten the mood but wasn't sure what he found funny.

"Oh Bella, it just feels so good to see you awake, I've been here in this very chair for 12 days thinking I had lost you, it wasn't until 2 days ago when I found out about the baby that I started to feel alive again."

"Wait, you didn't know? I didn't tell you? Did I even know?" a puzzled look grew on my face as I attempted to scan my memory but only drew a blank.

"I can't answer if you knew about it Love only that I had no idea, I was thrilled, no that isn't even a strong enough word for what I felt." The biggest grin grew on his face and his eyes warmed at his memory. "Would you like to see a picture?" He reached into his laptop bag and pulled out a small manila envelope presenting me with a grainy black and grey image. "Bella, meet baby!"

The picture didn't make much sense to me, I wasn't sure what I was looking at, I could see grey lines underneath a circle, I could faintly make out the shape of a lopsided bean was it? "This right here Bella, this tiny little bean is our child, look right here, this little dot there, that's the heart!" He held the picture with such pride that my own heart melted and I for the first time since waking up was overcome with peace.

I reached down and placed my hands on my belly once again, "That, bean is our baby?"

"Yes Love, ours" His hand came down atop mine and I could feel the warmth from his skin, it felt good to have him touch me, my body craved it but my mind once again told me otherwise.

"And it's OK? I've been in a coma, did that hurt the baby" Panic for this sweet little bean took forefront in my mind; it was so small and delicate, I felt like I had to do everything in my power to protect it.

"Everything seems OK so far, of course they will be keeping a very close eye on both of you but Dr. Stark seems to think things will progress normally and we shouldn't worry until there is a reason to worry, he said he would set us up with some sort of high risk specialist just to be safe."

"I can live with that." I smiled up at the man tenderly caressing my hand that rested upon our growing child. A yawn betrayed me and Edward chuckled…

"Do you want to have a rest Hun?"

"I think I do, will you stay though, I think my Dad said he was coming later but I don't want to be alone yet."

"Of course I will stay with you, you ARE my wife but I understand and know that you don't remember me right now, I am only afraid of rushing you, promise me you will tell me if I do something to upset you."

"I promise" as another yawn erupted from me.

Edward pulled out his laptop before wishing me sweet dreams.

I was having a wonderful dream when my surroundings started to come into focus, I was shopping with Alice for baby clothes, she would hold tiny little outfits up against my round full belly, we were laughing and smiling and couldn't decide if we should look at pink or blue stuff.

A smile grew on my face as I remembered the tiny baby growing in my belly now, knowing that soon Alice and I would probably be on this very shopping trip.

I could hear two men whispering outside the room, I could just make out my Dad's voice, it sounded like he was quietly arguing with someone, was that Edwards voice? I could only make out a few words, something about a Plea bargain but I could be wrong.

The door opened and I heard one set of footsteps coming back in to the room and a chair sliding across the floor. A kiss was planted on my forehead and I recognized the smell of Old Spice that was my Dad's telltale scent.

"Daddy, is that you?"

"Yes Baby, I'm here."

I opened my eyes and was met with a wonderful sight, my father stood before me, flowers in hand cleanly shaved and dashing in his Police Chief uniform.

"Are those for me?" I smiled at him; he remembered that Gerbera daisies were my favorite.

"Of course Baby!" He got up and placed them on the table beside the bed. "So I hear they are kicking you out of this room?"

"So I hear" I sat up and looked around the room feeling like something was missing.

"Dad, where's Edward? He said he'd stay with me."

"That's my fault Hun, I sent him to meet with a friend of mine, he will be back later." Charlie looked like he was hiding something from me but I forgave him quickly assuming he was just under stress.

"So what have I missed? Any hot dates" I knew how much it embarrassed him when I talked about his love life, or lack there of, Mom had remarried ten years ago but he never really moved on; I always wondered if he was still in love with my Mom even though it had been almost 27 years since she left him.

"Nah, you are my only girl Baby."

Baby, Oh my goodness, maybe Charlie doesn't know.

"Dad, I have some news for you and I hope its good news."

A curious look grew as he raised one eyebrow. I suddenly felt embarrassed to be telling my father that I was pregnant, like I had done something wrong but I WAS a married woman, even f I didn't remember the wedding or the groom. "It would appear that Edward and I are having a baby Dad" I gulped at the words when his face went still.

A huge smile betrayed his attempt at shock "I am gonna be a Grandpa?"

I returned his smile and pulled out the picture Edward had given to me pointing to the little bean with pride. I wasn't exactly sure which side was up or if I was pointing to a head or a bum but it didn't matter, I had pride in that little bean.

We spent a quiet evening talking and catching up before they came to wheel me downstairs, Dr. Stark was right, this new room was much more comfortable, I was honestly surprised that this was even still a hospital room, if it weren't for the telltale bed you would never have known. Charlie attempted to be nonchalant and explain to me that Edward and I were wealthy but I could tell he was embarrassed discussing it so I didn't press the matter. There was a leather sofa that, a small round table where Charlie dutifully placed my flowers in a vase and even a large plasma TV. The windows looked out onto the water and I could see the ships coming and going in the port. There was even a decent sized bathroom complete with a soaker tub. I was relieved when they removed my catheter, it was embarrassing to have a bag or urine pinned to the side of my bed even if I had been mostly unconscious at the time.

My muscles had grown weak from not moving and they sent a physiotherapist in to work with me, he helped me stretch and gave me some exercises to do before helping me sit up and hang my feet off the edge of the bed until I grew dizzy. I was informed that I could probably go home in a few days once I was able to care for myself to a certain extent and as long as I didn't continue to have panic attacks. I would still have to meet with a psychologist and a councilor to discuss the attack but not remembering any aspect of it I wasn't sure what I could tell them or if it would even do any good. I understood what had happened to me, Charlie having filled in the details to me that Edward couldn't bring himself to say, I could tell it wasn't easy for Charlie either but I think still being in uniform helped, maybe he was able to compartmentalize, I imagined not being the only woman he had ever had a conversation like this with.

I knew I had been through something horrifying but at this moment, not remembering any of it was a blessing, my focus now rested on getting out of here and the growing baby within me.

Edward returned just as visiting hours were about to end. Charlie wasn't allowed to stay and apparently Edward had to pull quite a few strings to be allowed to stay himself, I got the feeling he was used to dealing with people in high places and I wondered what he did for a living but felt embarrassed at the thought of asking my husband what he did!

Charlie left after giving my belly a few tiny pats and a big kiss on my forehead. I yelled out "Bye Grandpa" as he left to which he replied with a boisterous laugh saying he'd be by tomorrow.

"This is quite some room, I understand I have you to thank for that."

He didn't acknowledge my hint and simply smiled saying "Anything for you love, I just wanted you to be comfortable."

"Where did you go tonight?" I could tell instantly that he didn't like this question. He didn't exactly look angry but more worried about something. Why was everyone keeping secrets from me?

"Its nothing you have to worry about Love, I will take care of it and life will go on." He faked a smile at me; I may not know him well but I could tell it wasn't a real smile. "I may have to go away on a business trip for a few days though, I know its bad timing but I would rather get it over with before you come home, that is IF you want to come home. I understand if you need some time and want to stay with your Dad or Alice until you get your memory back."

He was such a generous man, how could anyone not love him? I was starting to see why I fell in love with him and I'd only known him for two days!

"I don't know what I want to do yet, I DO feel safe with you Edward but I don't KNOW you, can we maybe take things slowly and see what happens?" It was the truth.

He smiled a half grin and told me he would do anything I needed.

The stress of the day was starting to wear on me and to say I was exhausted was an understatement. Edward sensing my discomfort asked one for the nurses to come in and help me change into more comfortable clothes. I knew I was married to him but I wasn't ready for him to see my naked just yet. My muscles were still weak and even with the assistance I was tired after the effort.

He came over to the bed and gave me a soft kiss on the forehead, wished me a good night and took his place on the sofa across the room. I was pretending to be asleep as I watched him quietly typing something into his laptop, I wondered if it was work related before sleep quickly won out and I could no longer fight the battle against my heavy lids as sleep swirled all around me.

Morning came too quickly and I woke feeling exhausted, how much sleep did one person need? I pulled myself up in bed and that was when my first round of morning sickness found me. I was embarrassed as Edward held my hair back while I heaved into the basin he held at my chin.

He kept trying to re-assure me that it was normal and I would feel OK shortly. Even after being sick I was starving. The nurses said I had to stick with a liquid diet until my body got used to food again, I can't say I was exactly thrilled at the broth and Jell-o they kept bringing me but it was better than nothing.

Late in the morning Edward told me he had to leave for a meeting and that he'd be back as soon as he could. He sat on the edge of my bed with a sad look in his eye before giving me a kiss on the forehead and turning to leave.

Alice and Jasper burst into the room a few minutes later; she moved like lightening to my side and shoved a sparkling engagement ring in my face! I was shocked; they were FINALLY going to get married after dating for 7 years! She bounced in place as she told me the whole story of how Jasper proposed; he had written a song just for her and played it on the guitar at a local jazz club before dropping down to one knee. I was thrilled for my best friend but at the same time sad that I didn't remember my own engagement; was I this happy? Did I too bounce with excitement?

We spent the afternoon talking about wedding plans and giggling like school girls, Jasper had rolled his eyes one too many times before Alice kicked him out and told him to "go outside and play." I laughed at how she talked to him, I wondered if I was ever that jovial with Edward.

Time seemed to fly when we were together, nothing changed since we met in high school, Charlie insists that we never grew up but there was just something about being goofy with your best girlfriend.

Alice helped me take a bath, the nurses had offered to help but I felt more comfortable with Alice being there. My legs were red and swollen from the new muscles that the physiotherapist was tying to help me build. I was only able to take five steps today with the help of a walker before I tired. When I was changed into a new pair of pajama's Alice sat behind me and French braided my hair, I felt human again.

Edward soon returned with Jasper at his side, he had defied the nurses' orders and snuck in food for me, I could seriously grow to love this man! The four of us ate and laughed, it all felt so natural being together. They shared funny stories about parties we had had at our place and crazy game nights where apparently I was the world's worst person at Guitar Hero. I didn't have to have my memory to know I wasn't the least bit coordinated.

Alice and Jasper left when the intercom announced throughout the hospital that visiting hours were over, they promised to come back tomorrow as Jasper wanted to take Alice on a trip as an engagement gift and she wanted me to help her pick a destination.

The excitement of the day was wearing on me once again as my yawns gave way to eye rubbing. I couldn't fight the battle much longer and Edward wished the baby and I a good night assuring me that he would once again stay for the night. I did feel guilty that he probably wouldn't sleep well but I didn't want to be alone even if I did barely know him. There was just something about Edward, I secretly felt jealous of the sofa he was laying on, I wondered what it felt like to lay in his arms as the room slowly gave way to darkness.


	9. Confessions

**A/N** I am enjoyng writing this story and have the rest of it plotted out, I am getting A LOT of hits on the story but very few reviews, I don't want to be one of those people that holds readers hostage until they get X amount of reviews but I do ask you please, it only takes a minute to type out a few words and hit a button. I put at least 3 hours into each chapter and as a new Mom that time is very valuable to me and my family so please, take a minute or two and share your thoughts.

We once again join Bella in the hospital (Don't worry she is comng home soon) as we will learn more about Edward. I got tired of all the sotries being the same that he's a Dr... so I gave him a whole new career.

**The characters and all thing twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, they just come out to play with me.**

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**Confessions**

I didn't have the best sleep last night, I kept having nightmares; I was running down the street being chased by a fog of darkness, the faster I ran the quicker the fog moved in until it swallowed me whole. When I opened my eyes, Edward was awake typing away on his computer quietly, I wasn't sure what time it was but the sun was just starting to rise outside my window and the pink and orange sky was slowly giving way to a bright blue, it was without a doubt going to be a nice day.

I was staring off into the abyss outside my window when I finally noticed the clacking had stopped and the room was silent, I looked over to Edward and he was just sitting there, his chin on his fist staring at me, he looked sad today.

"You look so sad Edward, what's wrong" I asked him, my chest felt tight at the thought that something was bothering this man who had given me so much care and attention that I couldn't reciprocate.

"Nothing you need to worry about love, I'm sorry, I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, I had a weird dream, I feel like all I do is sleep but each time I wake up I am more tired than when I went to sleep."

Edward came over and sat at the foot of my bed and smiled at this trying to comfort me assuring me that it was probably just the pregnancy hormones making me so sleepy. He informed me that I was now 7 weeks pregnant; I wasn't sure what exactly what that meant but he promised to get me a book to help me with all the info.

I drifted off into space wondering if anyone else had ever been in my situation before: being married to a man I couldn't remember and finding out I was carrying his child, I know the world is a small place but I couldn't imagine anyone else going through this crazy scenario. Did they have support groups for pregnant amnesiacs? I chuckled at the silly thought.

"What's so funny Love?"

"Huh? Oh nothing, I was just wondering if they have a support group for pregnant amnesiacs."

"I doubt it! I think you are a pretty special case."

I knew he was talking about my medical situation but I smiled at his words calling me special. It was as if his kindness was feeding me, I was beginning to thrive on his touch and my body would tingle under the gentle pressure even through the blankets.

We spent a quiet morning talking, he told me stories about his childhood that I had probably heard in the past but no longer remembered. He always spoke of his family with reverence, I got the impression that his family came from "Old Money" but he never spoke about it just that they had lived in New York before settling in Chicago when he was 15. His father had inherited a distillery from his grandparents that they had kept hidden underground during the prohibition and rebuilt in the mid 1930's.

I asked him if that was what he did and he explained that he was the primary share holder in the company now but his role was merely for appearance purposes. He was the one who had to go to the public events and sign documents but he didn't have to be there for the everyday running of the company. A thought came to me and slipped out my mouth before I really thought about it "So basically, you just get paid to show up and look pretty?" I shocked even myself at the rash statement.

He chuckled "No, Love, that's your job, I am merely an accessory now." He winked as he toyed with me.

"Wait, what?" I was confused.

He tried to explain to me that I too was a share holder in his family's company, our family now and that it really didn't mean much, just that I had to show up at a few meetings a year and attend a party here and there. We were mostly just "for show" now. I asked him a few more questions about my new found role and that was when I was surprised to find out that we had more than one home.

"The distillery and head office are located in Chicago; we have a house there that has been in our family for a while. I still have to go there once a month for a few days to shareholder meetings, other than that we spend most of our time here in Seattle." He talked like this was nothing to him, owning more than one residence, traveling monthly across the country. This would definitely take some getting used to.

"If the company is in Chicago, why do we live here then?"

His wickedly crooked grin crept across his face. "That is entirely your doing my Love!"

He must have guessed by the puzzled look on my face that I was at a loss for words.

"I forget that you don't remember all of this, you have to bear with me Hun. You do remember the night we met, your graduation right?"

I nodded biting my lower lip genuinely curious about my own life.

"I was at the restaurant that night having a meeting with one of our local reps; Emmett, and I couldn't focus on what I was trying to discuss with him, the moment you walked into the room it was as if the rest of the restaurant disappeared, I watched you laughing and talking with your friends celebrating, I knew you would be leaving soon so I paid your waiter off to let me serve you dessert, I just had to meet you. I had never been that struck before in anyone's presence." He smiled before taking my hand. "I gave you my card hoping the title on it wouldn't scare you off but you called me later that night, I was supposed to be leaving the next day back to Chicago but we met for breakfast then went for a walk in the park, we talked for hours and I missed my flight."

I was shaking my head now as I didn't remember this part of the story.

"It's OK love, you will remember some day. I stayed for a week and we went out every night, you weren't the least bit scared or intimidated by my position or station, although you did keep refusing to let me buy your dinner each night insisting that you could pay your own way. It was endearing, usually women would throw themselves at me and expect the world to be delivered on a silver platter but not you Bella, I wasn't allowed to spoil you at all and it drove me crazy how stubborn you were."

Ok that did sound like me, money never really meant anything to me, and it wasn't exactly a high priority on my search for Mr. Right.

It felt so strange having someone fill in the missing details of my life to me like they were telling a story about someone they met on the subway.

"I eventually had to return home and get back to reality, the whole trip back I kept seeing your face everywhere I would turn, I couldn't get you out of my mind. When I got home I attempted to return to life as normal as I could but my thoughts were here in Seattle with you. We talked on the phone every night, my days always went too slowly and the nights were never long enough to fill with your voice. Eventually I gave up trying, I knew I loved you from the moment I first saw you in the restaurant but it took me a month before I packed up what would fit in a suitcase and flew here to be with you. I showed up at your work and stole you away, I couldn't bear to be apart from you for another minute, of course you chastised me for being irresponsible but eventually you gave in and somewhere along the way you loved me back too."

"I wish I remembered all that Edward, it sounds like some sort of a modern day fairytale." Could this really be my life he was talking about? It's so surreal.

"Well you are a Princess to me" His eyes were painful beautiful to look at when he spoke about his love for me, my heart was melting and I was falling in love with him, all sense of reason was telling me to slow down but my body was aching to touch him.

Our wonderful morning was interrupted when Jasper and Alice showed up with pastries and coffee, after getting approval from the nurse Edward helped me into a wheelchair and we all went out to a rooftop terrace to enjoy our meal. I did feel guilty that they were all missing work to be with me but they kept insisting that I was more important than work. Of course I was angry at this but I couldn't win against their arguments.

We looked through catalogues of hotels in various tropical destinations discussing the benefits of each one; they were hoping to leave in a month's time so their choices were slightly limited but they eventually settled on a week in St. Lucia. It sounded like a nice place and Alice promised to bring me back some of their famous batik. I had no idea when I would ever wear it but fashion had no practicality with me.

The day slipped by in a blur as we laughed and shared stories once again, Edward was a good story teller and the way he joked with Jasper and Alice, it was like we were family and he wasn't at all the newcomer to our little group, it was as if he had always been a part of our lives.

Monday morning soon fell upon us and my Mom finally showed up for a visit, she could only stay for a day as she had to return to her teaching job as it was nearing the end of the summer school session and she had to prepare for fall classes. Edward had to leave for a business meeting and that morning I could feel the tension pouring off of him, my Dad showed up to go with him which seemed strange to me at first but I was sure I was being silly, for all I knew Dad worked for Edward too so I didn't press the matter.

Mom and I spent the day talking; catching up on her life, when she was around it was all about her, that hadn't changed. I did manage to tell her about the baby and she was thrilled but uncertain about the whole "Grandma" word, she said she'd come up with something for the baby to call her though.

It was just after five when Edward and Dad returned with Dinner for all of us; he set it out on the little round table and wheeled me over to sit between my parents. The men were both very quiet and tense, Charlie actually seemed angry but no one was telling me anything about it. Charlie offered to give Mom a ride to the airport which she accepted, I wondered how awkward that ride would be, riding in a car with your Ex that you were still madly in love with? I shook the thought out of my head; I had greater mysteries on my hands now; Edward and his somber mood.

When we were finally alone I had to break the tension and ask "How was your meeting?"

"Err, it went as well as could be expected I guess." He stood up and walked over to the window and stared off into the setting sun. I longed to walk over to him and put my arms around him but my legs were still weak, I could now walk across the room but I stumbled a lot and usually ended up falling and having to be caught by the physio or nurses.

"Edward, I may not know you that well yet, but I can tell something is wrong, will you please talk to me."

"I'm sorry if I am upsetting you Bella, that's not my intention, I've just got a lot on my mind. I have to go away for a while and I am afraid to leave you"

"Go away?" I inquired.

"It won't be long, just a week but the thought of being away from you is torture, I could put this off but I really just want to get it over and done with so that we can get on with our lives." His hand slid off the window and into a tight fist.

I tried my best to assure him that I would be OK, I was a big girl after all and its not like I would be alone but I couldn't help shake the feeling that this didn't exactly sound like a business trip he was going on, I knew nothing about the Vodka world but surely meetings can't be so painful to attend that he would be so stressed out over them, but then again, what did I know about him or his work so I dismissed it.

He would be leaving the following morning for a week, I was sad at the thought of not seeing him every day, he was beginning to become my own personal sunshine in this dreary place.

We went back up to the rooftop terrace and watched the sun finish setting over the water together, he sat at my side staring off into the horizon with me. I wondered how many sunsets we had watched together like this? My thoughts turned to what the next week would be like without him, I was sad and missing him already when he took my hand into his.

"Bella, I know that you don't remember me and it is hard for you to hear about our relationship but I can't leave you now without saying a few things, these past few weeks have been torturous, I have always shared everything with you and while you were sleeping it was like I was sleeping too, you are my best friend and the only family I truly have in this world, you are my everything; the day you came into my life was the day I began to live. I cherish the life we have together above all else, I would gladly give my life if I thought it would save you from any of this anguish."

He was opening his heart to me and I blushed at his candor, Stupid me, why can't I just snap out of it and remember our life, here is this incredible man pouring his heart out to me and I have no idea who he is! I was starting to feel more and more frustrated with each growing day fighting an internal battle as if I could will myself to remember.

"Thank-you" Thank you? Who says something like that in a moment like this?

He chuckled at my response. "Edward, I 'm scared and so frustrated right now; I DON'T remember our life together and it's driving me insane, I have all of these feelings and my reasoning is telling me that I shouldn't have them but it all just feels so right. I think I am falling in love with you."

His eyes closed and I could see his shoulders rise with an inhalation of breath. "Bella, you don't know how good that makes me feel to hear you say that."

He looked into my eyes; the pink and orange sky was deepening into a navy sea behind him reflecting the copper undertones in his hair. He held my hand tenderly in his left as his right hand cupped my cheek, his eyes closed briefly and I could see he was struggling with an internal monologue.

I couldn't bear the pain that stretched across his face so I reached my free hand up and softly touched his cheek in return; his skin was smooth over his defined cheekbones, his bruises now faded to a pale yellow hue.

"Edward, open you eyes" I commanded in a gentle voice.

His closed eyes had been protecting the tears that were building, a knot formed in my chest at the sight, he was so beautifully wounded that in that moment I would do anything to ease his pain, willing my memories to return as I gazed into his eyes the only realization I felt was a longing to feel his lips against mine.

I leaned in and he met my gesture, our lips met in a tender brush as I felt the tears break their dam and slide down his cheek. The salty sweetness met my lips and I could taste his tears of joy, I kissed him fervently now, emotions flooding my very being, I was without a doubt in love with this beautiful stranger, every inch of my being wanted to touch him and in turn be touched by him.

The moment ended too soon when he pulled back placing his forehead against mine letting out a deep breath, a sigh of relief.

I was swirling from the intoxicating taste of his lips on mine, I brushed my finger against his lips and he returned the gesture with that sexy crooked grin of his. He pulled me up into a hug swirling me around like a child; his arms holding me were everything I had imagined and more; he was strong and chiseled but soft and warm, I never wanted to be parted from these arms again.

Realization came to me as I remembered that he would be leaving, I wanted to beg him to stay with me, to never leave my side but I knew I wasn't completely ready yet, I was without a doubt in love with him but I wasn't the wife and partner he longed to be with, just a shell of her.

We eventually made it back down to my room once the evenings chill made its presence known; he tenderly guided me down the hall and helped me back into bed. I was no longer afraid of him or his touch, it was the greatest drug.

I was willing myself to stay awake but losing the battle, even I wasn't stubborn enough to be able to fight the sleep that quickly swirled around me. My dreams were filled with beautiful sunsets and tender kisses.

I awoke Tuesday morning feeling rested and let out a big cat like stretch, I felt simply glorious and as my surroundings came into view, my good mood was only intensified as I saw a peacefully sleeping Edward sprawled on the couch across the room, he was smiling in his sleep, he looked so happy and peaceful, I wondered if he was having the same dream I had just had.

Perhaps sensing my eyes on him he started to stir and turned onto his side, we were now facing each other, the feet between us felt like inches as his smile grew to show his dazzling white teeth, "mmm, Good morning!"

"Morning to you too sleepyhead!" I returned his smile.

"How did you sleep?" genuine concern grew on his smiling face.

"Great actually, I was having the most wonderful dream."

He rose and crossed the room in three long strides, he slid beside me taking a seat on the edge of the bed and tenderly placed his hand on my belly," How did Baby sleep?"

I chuckled at him and placed my hand atop his warm skin, "Great I guess."

Our tender morning reunion was interrupted by the buzzing of his cell phone, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a sleek small phone holding it up to his ear, "Hello?... Yeah… No, I'm going today… let's just get this over with… A week right? No, I will meet you there in an hour." He closed the phone shut with one hand and tossed it on the bed beside me putting one hand on either side of my hips.

"Bella, Love, I am so sorry but I have to go. I want to make sure you know that there is no where in this world I would rather be than right here with you. I will only be gone a week and every moment that I am away from you will feel like an eternity to me."

"Will you call me while you are gone?" I at least would be able to hear his voice which should ease both of our discomfort.

"I don't think that's possible Love, where I'm going, I don't think I will be able to make personal calls."

"Edward, this doesn't sound like a business trip?" I was concerned and anxious for him.

"It is and it isn't, it is business that I need to get out of the way, the sooner the better then this whole mess will be over with and behind us." His brows creased as he spoke.

"I'm not going anywhere, at least I don't think I am yet, just come back as soon as you can, WE will be waiting for you." I patted my belly to imply that I was no longer counting myself as one.

He smiled at my gesture, leaned in and placed a kiss on my forehead before pulling me into a hug, my body melted into his in a warm embrace.

"Just a week Love and not a moment longer." He rose from the bed, picked up his laptop bag, cell phone and turned to me as he reached the door, "Bella, I love you!" He smiled once more, turned and was gone.

Seeing him walk out of the room, I had never felt so alone; it was like my very reason for living walked out that door with him, my beautiful stranger was now the owner of my heart.

Review Please...


	10. Pardon Me?

The twilight characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, I only wish I owned them.

Thank-you for the reviews and encouragement, please keep them coming.

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**Pardon Me?**

I sat on the edge of my bed hoping he would have changed his mind and come back, I had just lay back down for a nap when I heard the door open, "Edward?" excitement climbing in my voice as I jumped up.

"No sweetie, it's just me." Alice was standing in the open door, her expression going from amusement to confusion.

"Oh, Hi Alice." I pouted at her name; she wasn't the one I wanted now.

"Sheesh, Bella, what's going on, you look like someone ran over your Dog." I pouted at her implication, she knew I hated dogs.

"Sorry Alice, I was just hoping that Edward had decided not to go on his trip and stay." Alice came over and sat down beside me, grabbing both of my shoulders and pulling me square to look at her.

"Bella, did your memory come back?" She bounced as excitement spread on her face.

I hated to disappoint her," No, not yet, I just, Alice, I think I love him." I didn't think it, I knew I was in love with him but I didn't want her to think I was crazy for loving a stranger, it didn't make sense and I was having a hard enough time rationalizing it.

"Of course you Love him Hun, HE is Edward and YOU are Bella!" She laughed before patting me on the head in a condescending move. "It's only a week; it will be over before you know it, now let's get you up and out of this bed huh?"

Alice helped me up to the bathroom and into the shower, my legs were stronger today, I definitely wasn't going to be running any marathons anytime soon but after I was cleaned up and Alice helped me change into clothes I managed to walk back to the bed unassisted. She apparently has had enough of seeing me in hospital gowns and brought me a bag full of clothes that I had never seen before, Edward had tried his best at picking things out of the closet for me but Alice had higher standards. I could tell I was in for a week of Bella dress up and in my convalescent state I didn't have much of a chance at refuting her.

The physiotherapist came in after lunch and worked with me again, he was impressed at my progress and recommended I try and go for a walk down the hallway and back and he informed me that when I could manage that without assistance of any kind he would agree to my release; that was one condition down now I would just had to convince the Doctors and I could be free of this place.

Jasper arrived around dinner time with Pizza for the three of us and we sat and talked for hours, they had finished booking their trip and would be leaving in a few weeks, I was jealous that they were getting out to see the world, I was starting to feel claustrophobic in this dreary hospital room, as nice as it was, it wasn't a home.

Charlie had to return back to work, I couldn't expect everyone to drop their lives to come and entertain me, I felt guilty at the time they had all already missed, guilt was beginning to become a constant companion, they tried to re-assure me that I was family and would do the same for them but it didn't ease my remorse.

The rest of my week did go by quickly like Alice promised, she helped me pass the time and dutifully sat at my side as I was bombarded with question upon question from the psychologist about the attack itself, I didn't remember a thing. She kept insisting that I was somehow blocking the memories out and that as soon as I let go or found a trigger, my memory should come back. There was at least hope. We talked over different techniques for dealing with stress and anxiety, skills I may need someday if I ever get those memories back. I would have to follow up for weekly sessions upon my release but that would be a small price to pay if it meant escaping.

Friday finally came around and brought news that I was being released the next morning, I was thrilled to say the least, Edward was still away and I still wasn't allowed to be alone so Alice and Jasper had offered to let me stay with them until I felt comfortable with the whole Edward situation.

I only had one last appointment to get through before I was being released now, I was to meet with a Perinatologist, a fancy high risk pregnancy Doctor; He was an older man, the Grandfatherly type with large hands and a kind wise face. He sat and asked me questions about the attack and my recovery, he was optimistic that no harm had come to our little baby because of the physical assault but his concern now focused on a new matter, one that had never even crossed my mind. When Charlie had explained to me exactly what had happened, I hadn't for the life of me even thought about the fact that the bodily fluid from that awful man had been inside of me and without knowing who he was there was always a risk that I had been exposed to an STD or worse. So far all of my tests had come back negative but I would have to have monthly blood tests done just to be safe and once six months passed, we would have the all clear. He also strongly recommended that should I become intimate with anyone, we use protection.

I chuckled at the word; Intimate? The thought sounded crazy at this moment in time, I mean sure it was obvious that Edward and I were married and I was pregnant that we had been together but I just couldn't imagine myself making love to him, in all sense he was a stranger, no matter how much I loved him and longed to be in his arms.

The internal battle of reason kept fighting my with my heart, I was in constant turmoil, that was until the Doctor offered us a peek at out little baby once again, I hadn't been conscious for the last ultrasound so this was all new to me. He squeezed a warm blue gel onto my lower abdomen and soon a black and grey image was floating across the screen, I watched the little critter wriggling away and bouncing as the tears started to flood from my eyes, Alice's mascara was also running down her cheeks in ebony rivulets at the imagine on the screen.

He pointed out tiny little arm buds and the heart, I was stunned that the tiny little gingerbread man on the screen would some day be a beautiful child. I instantly felt protective of the little guy or girl. The Doctor then measured the baby's length and gave us a more accurate estimate as to a due date and printed off a few more pictures. By his assessment and not knowing actual dates to go by I was eight and a half week pregnant instead of seven weeks making me due around April 5th. After the exam was finished he explained to me that I would come in every two weeks for a check up with him, he gave me the pictures and his business card with numbers to call if I had any problems and left the room.

Alice and I sat giggling and crying at the photo's of my tiny little blob, I knew it was a baby or would look like one eventually but to us it still looked like a tiny gingerbread man. Looking at the pictures I was sad that Edward wasn't there to see this momentous even but at least I had pictures to show him when he got back.

Saturday morning Alice and Jasper both arrived to escort me home, I was annoyed that they insisted that I ride in a wheelchair to the car, by this point I was quite capable of walking that far but the orderly rambled something off about hospital policies. Alice waited with me on the sidewalk while Jasper went to pull the car up, I was taken aback when he stopped in front of us in a Shiny Lexus SUV, I didn't recognize the vehicle at all and had to do a double take to make sure it was him. I was sure that I hadn't lost my memories of their life only Edward but he explained to me that it was in fact MY shiny silver Lexus and with all my luggage to take home that he didn't think I would mind him borrowing it, I was relieved, Jasper just didn't seem the SUV type, of course I didn't either, or was I now?

I owned a Lexus!? The thought was beyond foreign to me, was I a Lexus person now? I always thought I'd be more of a used Ford kind of a girl but I guess a lot has changed over the last few years.

The drive back to their place was extremely comfortable with the exception of Jasper's annoyance at my constant fiddling with buttons and gadgets on the console; there was a back up camera and GPS unit and every toy you could imagine in this car, it seemed more space ship than SUV to me and it would take some getting used to before I think I could be able drive it.

They helped me up into their condo which I recognized instantly, it was the one that Alice and I used to share, it felt like home walking through the doors and I quickly made my way over to the sofa and stretched out; the familiar smells of Alice's perfume and baking were a huge comfort, I instantly felt at ease and relaxed.

We spent the whole day in the living room laughing about old times, rolling my eyes I confessed to all the times they thought they were being quiet as Alice would sneak Jasper in once she thought I was sleeping. Alice retorted by telling me that I wasn't exactly subtle as she reminded me the number of times she woke up in the morning to find a half dressed Edward making coffee; I felt uncomfortable at the though, that he had been here in this sanctuary and I couldn't even remember. I was starting to feel lost and miss the life that I couldn't remember as I was reminded that Edward was once again gone.

Alice sensing my turn in mood sat beside me and put her head in my lap assuring me that he would be home Tuesday, I played with her hair twisting it into little spikes when a yawn escaped me.

She took me back to my old room, it was like stepping back in time only to find your parents had turned your old room into a sewing room or something, my Bed was there but nothing else said that Bella ever lived here, the walls and tables were covered with Alice's creations, she was insanely creative and talented.

Feeling nostalgic I sat on the bed and picked up a Teddy bear Alice had left there, she lay down beside me and wrapped me into her arms, we lay there cuddling for a while before Jasper barged into the room raising one eyebrow and asking if this snuggle was just for girls? He all but dove in between us wrapping his arms under both our necks proclaiming us his two favorite girls in the world. I felt good, I was home, at least it felt like home for now.

I must have nodded off and I woke just before dinner time and stumbled out of my room to find the two of them in the kitchen preparing dinner and chatting over a bottle of wine.

"Hey sleepyhead!" Alice chimed as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes

"Hey guys, sorry I guess I nodded off" Why was I always so tired.

"It's OK Hun, we were just cooking, you hungry?" I was famished.

"OOH, whatchya making?" My mouth was watering; I was so hungry at this point I would probably eat cardboard if they offered it to me with a little ketchup.

"Jasper is making his famous southern fried chicken." I was a goner; the smell wafting out of the kitchen made me weak in the knees and I was putty in his all too capable culinary hands.

The food Jasper served was divine to say the least, the only thing missing was a fine glass of wine but I knew sobriety was a small price to play as I rubbed my still flat belly wondering when I was going to start to show, I was excited for it now after finally seeing that there was someone alive in there, I was only saddened that Edward wasn't there to join in my enthusiasm.

Exhaustion once again overcame me as dusk fell outside; Alice helped me get things set up in my room when I realized that I didn't have any clean pajamas. Loaning me a pair of hers she promised to take me shopping for some tomorrow, after all I would need bigger clothes soon and Alice loved any excise to shop, I was at her mercy.

Morning came all too quickly and although I slept I don't think a deep sleep ever found me, I couldn't help sensing that something was amiss.

Jasper had to go into the studio so it would just be a girls day, he was going to be gone all day so Alice thought it wise to take the opportunity to drag me out shopping, I wasn't sure if I had the energy for this so I grudgingly agreed and succumbed to her will.

"Alice" I shouted to her from the bedroom as I was dressing in the jeans and sweater she had chosen for me, it was one of those rainy summer days when you just wanted to curl up with a book and read but there was no changing Alice's mind about shopping.

She burst into the room looking more like she was ready for the runway than a day of shopping but then I swear Alice wakes up looking that way, never a hair out of place, I wished I could pull it off myself. "You ready yet?"

"Alice, I can't find my purse, did I have one at the hospital?" I couldn't remember seeing one at all while I was there and this seemed odd to me.

She took a seat on the bed taking my hand in hers," Honey, that night in the Alley, they took your purse and your jewelry."

"Oh" It was another one of those things that probably should have surprised me but not remembering any of it, I easily forgot details like that.

"Edward mentioned that he cancelled all your credit cards and your new ones were on the counter at your place, we can swing by and pick them up." She smiled and dragged me out the door.

Jasper had taken Alice's Porsche leaving us with the over the top Lexus, he had apparently left his car at our place when he borrowed mine.

I didn't feel comfortable driving such a fancy vehicle yet, not to mention the fact I had no clue where I lived so I asked Alice to drive; I was pleased that we only lived five minutes away, she turned down a rather haughty looking street, the kind where all the buildings had a door man, and I couldn't help the shock at how much my life had changed, was this really who I was now?

We turned into an underground parkade and waited as Alice pushed a button on the sun visor to open the garage door, as the door slowly lifted I was surprised to see that all the cars were just as fancy as mine, everything seemed so shiny and polished. We pulled into a spot in between a small sports car that looked very fast and Jasper's Chevy Camaro; at least there was something I recognized at least. I was very careful opening my door; I didn't want to put a ding in one of my neighbour's cars.

"Fancy car" I said pointing to the black one beside me.

"Fast too!" Alice chimed in with a huge grin on her face.

"What is it?" I had never seen anything like it before, the smooth round curves of it, it truly was beautiful, almost a work of art.

"It's an Aston Martin Vanquish Hun, its Eddie's baby; He only drives it once in a while but loves this car almost as much as he loves you!"

Shock was stuck to my face as my jaw dropped and I practically had to pull it up with my finger and re-attach it. "Wow!" Was all I could muster?

"Come on." Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me to an elevator. Prodding me like I should know where I was going.

I was confused as I couldn't see any locks on the doors or even a handle to pull, Alice reached the key chain up out of her pocked and waved a FOB across a dot on the wall and the doors parted making way to a marble and mirrored elevator.

We arrived at the Lobby floor and exited being greeted by a man in a maroon sports coat and hat, he removed the hat as a smile welcoming us "Welcome back Mrs. Masen, its so nice to see you up and about."

I gave my best attempt at a fake smile, whatever feelings I had for Edward, I still wasn't comfortable with being married to him or calling this home, I just wasn't ready yet. He called another elevator for us across the hall and pressed the P button.

The ride up was quick, only a few seconds, judging from the outside I would say there were only ten floors to the building and when it came to a stop Alice one again waved the FOB across a panel and the door parted into a smaller marble Lobby.

I was expecting there to be many doors and a long hallway but I was met with a small room with only one door on either end, Alice turned left and stopped in front of a large black door with the numbers 1001 marked on the side in ornate Silver numbers. She twisted the key in the lock and advised me to wait for minute while she turned the alarm off. I stood staring at the black door hoping that when I stepped through it would be some sort of a time portal and the moment I placed a foot on the other side my memories would miraculously return.

She opened the door and I closed my eyes as I took a giant step through the threshold opening them on the other side. I sighed as the place didn't feel like the home I was expecting. The place was beautiful no doubt, tastefully decorated in colors that I liked, warm browns and golden hues made the place feel cozy despite its expanse. There was a large open kitchen with an eating bar, a kitchen table with fresh flowers perched atop the deep dark wood, a casual sitting room met off the side of the kitchen and formal dining area, I wondered if this was where we sat and played games?

Alice took my hand offering me a tour.

She led me down a hallway opening doors along the way: Powder room, Closet, Pantry a lovely Den with dark brown leather couches and a huge plasma TV, there was a fireplace with a lamb skin rub in front of it, the room felt comfortable to me, I imagined myself curling up in one of the easy boy chairs with a book in front of the fire, it seemed like a place I would enjoy. The next room she showed me took me aback; it was a large mirrored room with the focal point being a massive black shiny piano.

My eyes popped out of their sockets as I took in this grand room, it looked like something in a magazine

"I know right?" Alice drew me from my shock. "This was your wedding gift to our boy Eddie!"

"I, I did this?" This room looked nothing like something I would choose. "Does he play?"

"Bella, Edward is an incredible composer, Vodka may be where he makes the bucks but this…" her fingers ran along the keys of the piano sending sweet slightly out of key notes across the room "this is his passion." Every moment he isn't with you or working, he is sitting here writing music. He really could have been something great ya know?"

"What do you mean Alice, COULD have been something great?" this day just kept getting stranger and stranger, I had to sit and take a place on a long piano bench. There was something about sitting here that felt vaguely familiar but I couldn't remember why.

"Edward was studying music at Julliard when his Mom died; he completely stopped playing for years that was until you bought him this piano as a wedding gift." I remembered him telling me about his parents but he never went into great detail or ever mentioned music, I felt sad for him and wondered if there was more to the story.

Alice dragged me out of the room by the hand and back down the hallway to a long staircase, she looked at me questioning if I was strong enough to make it on my own and I just nodded at her dropping my hand to secure a hold on the rails.

We made our way up to a loft type hallway, one side was wall and the other opened onto the rooms below, there were 4 doors, starting on the left Alice opened the first showing me a nicely decorated guest room complete with en-suite bathroom, the second was a room that I instantly loved, three walls were completely covered in books centered around a stone heath fireplace, I ran my fingers alone the spines and saw all my favorites, in the corner under a window was a large soft window seat covered in pillows, I walked over to the seat hugging the soft fluffy pillows, this room felt like home.

The room next to it was a more ornate office, the walls were hung with old photos of people dressed to the nines in front of old brick buildings and plaques of appreciation of various accolades in Edwards name mostly from charities thanking him for support. This was clearly his office and I felt uncomfortable being in here, like I was intruding.

That left only one door, I gulped as Alice opened a tall double wide French door, the room was white and centered around a large King sized bed with tall redwood spindles that peaked towards the centre and had wispy tulle hanging in a canopy. The room was beautiful and soft, warm and elegant; the dark wood offsetting the crisp white was breathtaking. Double glass doors opened onto a terrace where two padded iron chairs sat nestled at a table, something you would imagine from a movie, the only thing missing was the Eiffel tower in the distance, and this view did have Merit of its own though, the view of the water was breathtaking.

Opening the two remaining door Alice showed me a huge marble bathroom with the biggest tub I have ever seen, you could probably fit four people in there. Her eyes lit up as she opened the final door for me and walked into a room as the lights turned on automatically, the walls were surrounded in clothes and dressers. I could never imagine myself owning so many clothes and this seemed more like one of Alice's fantasies than somewhere I would actually live.

I was feeling very un-easy and perhaps Alice sensing it she dragged my by my hand back down stairs searching the counter in the kitchen until she found a black folder nestled inside a heavy envelope. She peeled off a shiny black credit card and threw it at me, I didn't think much of it but she dialed some numbers listed on a piece of paper and tossed the phone to me, there was a woman on the other end who helped me through the activation process, the card came with many special services that I was certain I would never need but I listened as she explained them all to me. I was signing the back when Alice reminded me that my last name was in fact now Masen.

That tiny card felt like a weight of pure guilt in my pocket, surely I couldn't spend Edwards's money, logically it was my money too but I was having a very hard time separating Logic from reason these days.

By the time we made it back down to the car I was already exhausted and I begged Alice to take me back to her place. I would have to put shopping off until another day. Seeing a place that was supposedly my home and not remembering it was very difficult to handle, I felt like my sense of self was swirling downwards and I was falling into darkness, I need to escape.

I excused myself to take a bath as soon as we arrived at her apartment. I grabbed a book she had left on the desk in my old room and was quickly lost into the story about a young girl falling in love with a Vampire. There was a knock on the door before Alice came in, I covered myself as best I could but it wasn't like she hadn't seen it before. She brought me a bottle of water and a fresh towel before telling me that dinner was ready.

I ate even though I wasn't hungry, I was too stressed to enjoy the delicious meal Alice had prepared, I just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep for days. The only comfort I felt was knowing that Edward would be home in just over a day and hopefully things would start to make more sense.

We attempted the shopping trip once again and I grudgingly let Alice talk me into buying a few maternity tops and skirts, I felt sheepish buying the clothes and kept looking down at my naked left hand, if I was married shouldn't I be wearing a ring? Realization struck me that it too was probably stolen that fateful night when my whole life changed.

Alice insisted that we stop by the grocery store on the way back and re-stocked the fridge for Edward, she really did take care of him like he was family and I was glad that someone was watching out for him, I felt an insurmountable amount of compassion for the man who sat by my side for days on end.

I helped her carry the food up to the condo if you could even call it a condo. She pointed me towards the sofa in the sitting room just off the kitchen while she unloaded the bags. I looked around the room studying the strange surroundings, I could see photos of Edward and I on what must have been our honeymoon, we looked carefree and so happy, young and in love. I was saddened wondering if we would ever feel that joy again when Alice drew my attention. "I think I forgot a bag, will you be OK if I run back down to the car and grab it?"

"Of course Alice, I'm a big girl. I will just wait here." Exhaustion from the days shopping had worn me.

I thumbed through a magazine on the coffee table and peeked through a stack of mail, a few things were addressed to 'Mrs. Bella Masen' but I wasn't ready to read mail in that name, I am sure if it was something urgent Alice or Edward could take care of it. I sighed wondering when this life would begin to feel like mine.

The phone rang startling me from my thoughts, I scanned the room until I saw a black cordless phone sitting on the charger below the microwave, I looked around the room hoping someone would be here to answer it but then I felt silly knowing all too well I was alone.

"Hello?" I questioned.

"Yes, Mrs. Masen is that you?"

"Err, yes." So they tell me at least.

"This is Mr. Jenks calling, I am the attorney that arranged your husbands Plea bargain last week, I was just calling to inform him that I completed filing his paperwork for a pardon and as soon as he is home and settled please have him call me and we will arrange a meeting with the Governor to start the pardon process. I know it's soon but we should be able to expedite the process as he is quite an outstanding member of society and with his business entailing so much travel we really should get on with this right away."

"Wait, What?" Just then Alice burst into the room and must have read the confusion on my face, she ripped the phone out of my hand and finished the conversation with a few, "OK, I will let him know's and thank-yous"

"Plea Bargain… Pardon… Governor... Alice what's going on?"

She took my hand and pulled me back over to the sofa placing her hand on my knee, "Honey, we were hoping you wouldn't find out but there is no sense keeping it from you now. This past week, Edward wasn't on a work trip Honey, he is in prison."

"P.P.Prison?" Since when did I stutter?

"He plead guilty to Assaulting the one who held the gun to him the other night, I told him he was foolish but the DA was talking about charging him with Aggravated Assault and a bunch of other things so he took the Plea instead of going through with a whole trial. He could have waited to serve his sentence but he wanted to just get it over with. I can't say I blame him."

"Wait, Edwards in Jail?"

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Fear not, Edward will be back and there are some surprises coming for both of them.

Please review if you want more.


	11. Second First Date

Again, all things twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer...

Thank-you all so much for the kind reviews, you guys rock, please keep them coming and I promise you won't be dissapointed. I am trying my best to get a chapter out a day, I can't seem to stop living this story.

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**Second First Dates.**

"Stop pacing! You are going to wear through my carpet." Alice barked at me in an attempt to get my attention, I had been in another world since finding out about Edwards business trip and was counting down the minutes until he would return. I fought tooth and nail to be allowed to go and meet him when he gets released but Jasper wouldn't have it, he pulled out the big guns; southern drawl and all insisting that '_Miss Bella, Prison is no place for a lady, even if it is just to fetch her fella.'_

I felt like my skin was crawling at the thought of Edward sitting in a cold dark cell, flashbacks from every movie I had ever seen were playing through my mind in a continuous loop, surely things weren't as bad as in the movies were they?

Could this day possibly go any slower?

I heard Alice let out a growling humph before tackling me and dragging me to the sofa in her living room, "Stop it Bella, this isn't doing anyone any good and you are making me nervous."

"Alice, I can't just sit here and wait, you don't know how guilty I feel, this is all my fault." I couldn't hold back my tears any longer.

"Oh Sweetie, none of this is your fault and you know that. That night, you didn't ask for any of that awful stuff to happen, you didn't ask for Edward to go all vigilante at the pub and get himself arrested, stuff happens and unfortunately it happens to good people everyday." I knew Alice was trying to comfort me and I should listen but I didn't think any words would help ease my guilt, the knot in my stomach was aching and I quickly ran to the bathroom to empty its contents.

I attempted to clean myself up as best I could but I looked haggard, the dark circles under my puffy eyes made me look tired and worn, I hadn't slept since that phone call, I tried but just tossed and turned, I was feeling ragged like I could collapse at any minute but the adrenaline was keeping me going and my mind still raced a hundred miles an hour at all the horrific things that could be happening to Edward.

I heard the front door to the apartment open and I bolted from the bathroom down the hall to the living room and almost fell over when I saw Jasper standing in the middle of the room hugging Alice, his eyes looked up to meet mine and he smiled. Scanning the room and doing a 360 my search came up empty. "W. Where's Edward Jasper?"

"He's at home Hun." Jasper shook his head closing his eyes.

"Jasper, what's wrong, is he hurt, did something happen to him?" An even more horrific thought came to mind "Or doesn't he want to see me?" I felt defeated and fell to the sofa.

"Of course he does Bella, more than anything but I didn't want you to see him yet, not like this."

"Did something happen to him when he was in pr… away?" I couldn't say the word out loud.

"Not physically No, I'm just worried about him and thought he needed some rest, the guy looked like he hadn't slept all week, he could barely form sentences." Jasper continued talking or at least his mouth was moving but I wasn't hearing sounds, my thoughts were else where with Edward.

Alice's hands pulled mine apart, was I wringing them again? They seemed to move of their own accord these days whenever I was stressed which this past week they seemed to be in constant motion. "It's OK Hun, we will let him rest then we can all go over and see him, Maybe you should try and nap too, you look tired Bells, you and Baby both need to sleep."

Sleep was the last thing I wanted or needed right now, I needed answers, I needed my memory back but most of all I just needed Edward!

I dutifully did as I was told and went to lay down, I lay staring up at the ceiling watching the fan spinning round and round but sleep never found me, I was too tense, too worried for my beautiful stranger; I wondered if now finally being home if sleep was his companion or if he too was finding this as torturous as I was. I had to distract myself, this wasn't doing anyone any good and if I couldn't sleep I could perhaps occupy my time by working, surely there was something waiting for my attention.

Alice had brought my laptop over along with some clothes for me and I figured I would eventually have to get back to reality, I knew my work wasn't expecting me back any time soon and the doctor's had recommended I not push myself but I just had to escape into another world and work was a sure fire distraction. I plugged the cord into the wall and logged into Alice's wireless connection, when the machine powered up the desktop image took my breath away, it was a 17 inch close-up image of Edward. His piercing eyes staring right into me in a wicked smile, could eyes even smile? I blushed to myself and decided to explore my life a little, what could it hurt? The psychologist told me that it may take just seeing a familiar face or a memory to trigger everything and open the door that my mind has shut. Maybe I could force it open by flooding myself with stimuli.

I found a folder under 'MY PHOTOS'; the box that opened made me laugh as I was met with dozens of images marked by dates, I skimmed through what looked like various candid shots of Alice and I goofing around with a camera taking pictures of ourselves, some things never change, we were both terrible photographers. The next box made me laugh, there I was standing on a coffee table that I recognized from Edwards place jamming to a game I could only guess was Guitar Hero. Jasper sprawled out across the floor laughing and Edward sitting in a chair with his hands cupped over his face hiding his laughter but I could tell by the glint in his eyes that he was on the verge of tears. I guess they weren't kidding; I must be terrible, at least I looked like I was having fun.

The next image brought another gasp out of me, it was a black and white image of Edward sitting at his Piano; his eyes were closed, his bottom lip pursed between his teeth, I could almost imagine the beautiful notes floating through the room filling it with their sweet sound and I have never even heard him play, at least not with this memory.

I couldn't take any more; the image of beautiful Edward was burned into my retina's now, a screen saver in my own mind. I closed the computer down; maybe this was a bad idea trying to force a trip down memory lane without a narrator to explain the journey.

Defeated once again by the lack of sleep and my growing restlessness I trudged back out to the living room where Alice was sitting on the sofa, her head resting comfortably in Jasper's lap as they watched TV, she looked up at me and simply shook her head, "I thought you were going to try and sleep?"

"Can't!" I shrugged; I wasn't going to admit that I didn't really try all that hard. I took a seat on the sofa lifting Alice's tiny feet into my lap, to anyone else it would probably look silly, three grown adults all snuggled together on a tiny love seat but this was family and I longed to feel the touch of someone who loved me.

The phone rang and Alice shot up in a heart beat grabbing it before Jasper or I could even acknowledge the ring. "Hello?" She asked. "Edward, how are you feeling?"

My hands reached out like a little kid begging for candy but she waved me off. "That sounds like a great idea, are you sure?" she paused to listen "OK then, we will see you at seven." She pressed end on the phone and set it back on the table. I glared at her with hurt eyes.

"Relax Bella, you will see him so stop looking like you are five and I just stole your ice cream from you." In a very mature fashion I stuck my tongue out at her which made her giggle. "Oh Bella grow up" she returned the gesture sticking her tongue back out at me, "He's invited us over for dinner tonight."

"Dinner? Does he cook?"

Jaspers laughter filled the room which I took as a NO! "Edward, cook? Yeah I think not, Bella the guy can barely make toast. We will pick something up, what do you feel like eating Hun?"

I thought about it for a minute, I was suddenly starving as the knot in my stomach started to relax, "OOH, I want Italian, no Greek, no, no I want Chinese"

Alice stared at me in an annoyed make up your mind woman tone before rolling her eyes and pushing me towards the shower and instructing me to clean up.

The hot water felt amazing on my stiff muscles and I melted into its warm embrace losing myself in the sea of warmth as I washed off my stress and worries. After toweling off Alice came into my room and threw clothes at me from the collection that was growing. I slid on the jeans she had picked out but pouted when I couldn't button them, "Um Alice, I think these are yours, they are too small for me."

She turned and looked at me and chuckled, "Oh, um sorry Bella, those are yours Hun; I guess baby is on a growth spurt." I slid the too tight jeans off and turned my body looking into the mirror twisting and wriggling, I didn't look the least bit pregnant, maybe a little bloated but surely I wasn't big enough for my pants to be tight yet.

We tried on every pair of pants she had brought over for me and it wasn't looking like anything was going to work, I could get half of them on but they just didn't feel comfortable so I settled for a royal blue shift dress and black knee high boots, I wasn't quite ready to break out the maternity clothes that Alice made my buy yet. I was a little uneasy that my clothes weren't fitting but I felt sexy for once in my life. I even think my boobs feel a little bigger but it could have been the push up bra Alice insisted that I wear.

Jasper drove once again and I offered to sit in the back this time, I was making sure to pay close attention to which streets we took though knowing I would eventually be moving back into Edwards place when I felt ready. We turned onto a busy street that was lined with restaurants; the choices that lay before me were all appealing and with chagrin I confessed I wanted it all. Until now I had denied the cravings my body was asking for but the idea was finally growing on me and I had accepted the fact that this tiny swollen belly of mine seemed to have a culinary preference all of its own.

Alice, Jasper and I were scrambling in different directions gathering food like we were on a scavenger hunt and by the time we were all back in the car we probably had enough food for ten people.

Pulling in to the underground lot I started to feel uneasy again, I knew I had to give myself time to adjust but I couldn't help feeling disappointed with myself when each corner I turned didn't hold my memories. Edward answered the door on the second knock and his eyes fell to mine as Alice and Jasper put the food on the counter which was now littered with various paper bags.

Edward looked worn, his eyes weren't the sparkling emeralds I remembered but a pale washed out green, "Hello Bella." He greeted me. His greeting felt cold and distant, I had thought that after our last night together when our eyes met by sunset and we kissed that he would instantly sweep me up into his arms and never let me go.

"Are you OK Edward?" I wasn't used to this colder version of my beautiful stranger.

"Yes Love, just tired and have a lot on my mind, sorry" He pulled me into a hug but even his warm arms wrapped around me didn't bring the relief I was longing for, something was wrong.

Just then my stomach rumbled and everyone laughed. I helped Alice set the table just off the kitchen as the men opened all the food containers. Edward's eyes glanced from dish to dish before looking up at Alice confused "Couldn't decide tonight?"

Alice smiled and pointed at me "I claim no responsibility for the culinary diversity tonight, this is all Bella, or should I say Baby's doing.'

Edward's eyes brightened slightly at the Baby word and his eyes darted down to my nearly flat belly. I gave two little pats to the bulge that only I could see "9 weeks" I said as my stomach let out another growl of displeasure making him smile and his face brighten slightly.

Dinner was an interesting event to say the least, eyes kept venturing over to my plate as I was mixing cuisines, there was something about the souvlaki dipped in sweet and sour sauce that tasted like ambrosia, their noses all turned up at my new found taste "What? You should try it!" Edward was the only taker at my offer and he bravely took a bite as I waved the chopsticks in front of him.

"That's disgusting Love!" he coughed out shaking his head before downing half a beer to wash the taste out.

We laughed and joked until we couldn't possibly eat any more, I was suddenly glad to be wearing the roomy dress, there was no way my pants would be fitting after a meal like this. I rubbed my belly in pleasure as I pushed my now empty plate away from me.

"What you aren't going to lick it clean?" Jasper chortled before being hit in the head with Alice's napkin and being chastised for his lack of southern comfort.

The men washed up the dishes and Alice suggested we move into the den to relax while the men worked. We were just discussing the merits of men cleaning when the boys returned smirking at our conversation and shaking their heads. We all sat and talked, the conversation ventured to Alice and Jasper's upcoming trip when my eyes fell over to Edward, he had that distant look in his eyes again and it pained me to see him lost in his thoughts. I stood up to excuse myself to the powder room letting my hand brush across his shoulder as I exited the room.

Returning down the hallway I could hear their faint whispers and I paused just outside the door listening in, the discussion was focused on me and an apparent plan to ensure that I was never left alone. I shook it off, sure I didn't have all my faculties about me but I was quite capable of taking care of myself, I didn't need a baby sitter.

Now aggravated due to my eavesdropping I trudged into the room with a pout on my face crossing my arms over my chest as I plunked down beside Alice letting out a loud humph. They all burst out laughing and I soon joined in forgetting why I was even angry, stupid hormones I thought.

The sun had set and night fell upon the evening, Edward was the first to speak, "We should put little Momma here to bed so she can rest."

I instantly felt a panic attack building in my chest, was he implying that I sleep here, with him? My hands started sweating and the room was spinning again. Edward sensing my discomfort knelt on the floor in front of me taking my face in his hands, "Bella, deep breaths Love, In and out, In and Out, that's a girl." He breathed in time with me trying to calm my panic.

I didn't even notice that we were alone in the room now; my eyes were locked with his in a moment of need as the tears poured out of me, he pulled me against his chest until the tears finally ceased and dried, his shirt was stained with my salty outpouring. "I'm sorry, your shirt, I ruined it."

He smiled his crooked grin at me "Small price to pay." As he continued to rub my back in soothing circles. "Now, can you tell me what this is about Love? What got you so worked up?"

I confessed to the enigma I felt when I was with him, how I still longed to be connected to him physically but my mind kept struggling that he was still a stranger. I told him how much I missed him while he was away and how that threw me into even more turmoil adding to my confusion.

After my confession I felt better, it was something I had told him before but I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn't a normal situation and there weren't exactly ground rules. Edward suggested that I continue to stay with Alice until I felt comfortable; I agreed under the condition that he visit me everyday to which he informed me that he wouldn't have it any other way bringing a huge smile to my face.

Remembering I had my weekly follow up at the hospital tomorrow I asked Edward if he would take me to it, maybe if we spent more time together I could find this lock in my mind to unleash my memories.

Leaving the penthouse was uncomfortable, I wasn't sure how to say goodbye to a husband I didn't know, I chuckled as I could only explain Edward as an oxymoron, he was after all my stranger-husband, for now at least.

He arrived early the next morning, I had just finished getting dressed when he arrived, Alice was returning to work today and Jasper had to leave soon to go into the studio. I had almost forgotten that my friends had jobs and real lives to get back to; I had held them hostage long enough. I finished eating breakfast while Edward sat at the kitchen table skimming over the paper before stopping at the financial section and running his finger down a long list of numbers that I could only assume were stocks. "Anything interesting in there?"

He snapped out of the silence that had been hovering over the table. "Sorry, I'm just a week behind on news is all." I felt guilty again realizing he had just given up a week of his life, I chastised myself for being so selfish and ignorant.

"Shall we go?" I gestured to the door; which he opened for us offering his arm to me in a gentlemanly fashion which I gladly accepted. We made our way down the elevator and out to the street where he escorted me to a car, a very shiny sleek looking Vanquish. My jaw dropped again at the sight of this beautiful piece of machinery that I could only describe as 'sex on wheels' and I didn't know anything about cars.

"Alice said this wasn't your everyday car, that you only drove it for special occasions?" I was still floored as he opened the door for me and I slid into the deep leather seats that hugged my body wrapping snugly around me. Edward made his way around and let himself in before reaching across my chest and pulling down the seat belt locking it in place making my heart thump loudly and dance at his proximity.

"This is a special occasion Love, it's not everyday I get to take you on our second first date."

"D. date?" Stuttering was beginning to become a habit around him.

"I thought I would take you to lunch after the appointment that is unless you don't want to." His coy boyish smile turned to a sad pout at the end of his statement. "I don't want to rush you Bella, I'm sorry, please let me know if it's too much too soon."

I smiled up at him genuinely "No Edward, I would love to have lunch with you."

The day few by and time seemed to have no meaning when I was with Edward, he sat outside the room as I was in my appointment with the psychologist and never once asked me over lunch how it went or pushed me for details, he truly was trying to let this go at my pace.

I was nervously excited or was I excitedly nervous? There was constant monologue running through my mind as I listened to his stories, I felt more like I was drilling him for information at times but he answered every one of my questions, well all but one. He refused to talk to me about last week, he would shrug it off and any time I would try and steer the conversation in that direction again, he would quickly distract me, I could tell I wasn't going to win this battle no matter how sly I got. Eventually I gave up hoping that in time he would open up to me about it when he was ready.

After lunch we went for a drive in his fancy sports car, I could quite comfortably get used to this car, which made him happy, he said something about opening her up to stretch her legs and I was hoping he was talking about the car and not me. He chuckled at my puzzled look and explained that fine sports cars like to be driven at high speeds on open roads, or that was the story he gave me at least, I think he just wanted and excuse for driving fast. He offered to let me choose the music and I flipped through a book of CD's he handed to me; they were all in sleeves marked by artist name and CD title, in the very back there was one unmarked slot so of course I would choose that one, curiosity got the better of me.

The sound pouring out of the Bose system was parallel only to being in a concert hall I could only guess, the piece playing was beautiful without question, it was a piano and acoustic guitar duet that I had never heard before. "This is so beautiful, relaxing too."

Edward let out a quiet chuckle as I quickly nodded off into a deep sleep. Before I knew it we had pulled up out front of Alice's place and it was early evening. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and turned over to face a smiling Edward, "Sleep well?" His grin stretched from ear to ear.

"I'm sorry, I fell asleep on our date, I am just so tired, and I haven't been sleeping well."

"Don't worry Love, I haven't exactly been sleeping too great either but you have a valid excuse." And he went to put a tiny pat on my belly but stopped himself just before making contact. I could see the struggle in his eyes and I realized how much this whole situation must be hurting him too!

"Will you come up and stay for dinner?" I invited him; I had slept through half of our date and was feeling guilty again.

"Not tonight Bella, I have some work to do but don't worry, it is real work this time, I am sorry I didn't tell you the whole truth I was only trying to protect you." The sad gray look came across his face once again and I reached up placing the palm of my hand on his cheek.

"Edward, I know this isn't easy for you either and I'm sorry, I'm sorry that this whole nightmare happened but I am trying my best here."

"I know Love; I just miss you so much. Let me walk you in." He came around and opened my door for me offering his arm once again. He stayed for a few minutes, long enough to tell me that he would be back again tomorrow morning to spend the day with me. I was comforted knowing I would see him again in the morning but the nights always felt so long.

We spent every day together for the next two weeks, some evenings he would come and stay for dinner when he didn't have business meetings or social events that I didn't quite feel ready for, I wasn't a good enough actress to be able to pretend I was his wife yet.

A rainy Saturday rolled around and Alice informed me that it was time for another shopping trip, I was down to the last of my clothes that fit and she wouldn't take another day of me wearing stretch yoga pants so she dragged me off to the mall and tortured me through every maternity section in the stores. We took turns putting on the prosthetic baby bump and laughing, would I really get that big soon?

After my arms were overloaded with purchases and I had put a nice dent into Bella Masen's shiny black credit card Alice reminded me that she needed to shop for her trip, I had completely forgotten that she was leaving tomorrow for her week long engagement trip with Jasper.

I had been so wrapped up in my own life and "dating" Edward that I was neglecting my best friend duties. Alice quickly forgave my omission teasing me about "young love" to which my only reply was a blush, I was madly and deeply in love with Edward there was no doubt about it and I had even begun to trust myself around him. It felt like I had truly gained another best friend in my stranger-husband as I jokingly called him.

Edward and I drove the happy couple to the airport and waited as they made it through security before I turned to him "so, what's the plan?" I was feeling a little bold and flirtatious. He offered to take me out anywhere I wanted to go and I think I shocked him when I asked if we could go back to his place. I hadn't been there in three weeks and I was beginning to wonder if the place was all a dream, he suggested that we watch a movie, eat pizza and laze around; I was definitely up for that. He had me at Pizza!

These days my stomach made most decisions for me and I felt like I was getter bigger by the day, Alice insisted that I was barely showing and only people who knew and really looked could tell that I was pregnant but I was starting to feel ready for the world to know. I asked if we could make a quick trip by the apartment so I could change into more comfortable clothes and he obliged of course.

I all but ran inside, the thought of gooey cheesy pizza was a driving force, I slipped on a comfy pair of maternity stretch Capri's and a blue loose scoop neck shirt in a slinky fabric that Alice insisted I buy, I didn't really think much of the outfit until I rounded the corner and met Edwards eyes from across the room. I walked over taking a stand in front of him as he raised his hands once again making a gesture towards my belly but stopping just before touching it, I grabbed his hand and placed it over the fabric giving two pats to his hand "It's OK Edward, it is your child too, I know that."

He smiled and looked up at me warmly, "Thank-you."

"For what Edward? Letting you rub my little Budda Belly." I teased him.

"NO Bella, well yes but thank-you, for trying so hard" My stomach growled in response to his comment and we both laughed. He patted my Belly once more asking it if it was hungry. Smiling at him I grabbed his hand and dragged him out the door, pizza was after all calling my name.

He ordered the pizza while we drove and it was waiting in the lobby with the doorman when we arrived up from the elevator, he tipped the guy and we headed upstairs. He dished the pizza onto plates and grabbed some drinks out of the fridge leading me into the cozy den.

Pointing to a semi hidden closet door in the wall he told me to push on the edge and as I did a door popped open to reveal hundreds of hidden DVD's. This place really did have everything. I fingered through the vast collection finally settling on 'The Mummy' he just shook his head at me "Interesting choice."

We sat on opposite ends of the large brown leather couch eating our pizza and laughing at the movie, it wasn't meant to be funny but there was something about it that kept making me laugh, maybe it was the hormones again.

He tossed a small pillow at me and shook his head at me blaming the baby for finding the movie hilarious and distracting him with my giggles. I returned the gesture when his eyes were back on the screen smacking him in the back of the head with the pillow. That was it, he dove at me and started tickling me like mad and soon I was gasping and laughing begging him to stop. I finally gathered my senses enough to attack him back and he retreated to his side of the couch begging for mercy. I climbed up on my knees and was relentless in my tickle attack.

"OK, OK, I give up!" He surrendered. I looked up into his eyes that were once again that beautiful emerald green color and they drew me in, my lips were on his before I could even realize what I was doing.

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Please Review, it is my food and encouragement

A/N A lot of you are asking if Bella will get her Memory back, be patient, I don't want to spoil anything but I will say that there are a lot more twists and turns this story will take, they have taken over and are telling the story now ;). Thanks again for the awesome reviews and PLEASE, keep them coming.


	12. Moving on and Moving in

**Thank-you again for all the wonderful reviews, please keep them coming.**

**We once again join Edward in his constant struggle to get his wife back. Please read through to the end of the chapter before you get all upset, things are not always as they seem.**

**Edward and Bella aren't mine, Stephanie Meyer created them but this story is all me.**

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**Moving on and Moving in.**

Her lips moving against mine felt like fire quenching my frozen soul, In that moment I finally understood how Bella explained how she has been feeling, a paradox battling in my mind for dominance, I want nothing more than to lay my beautiful wife down and make sweet passionate love to her but I can't help feeling that this isn't my wife, logic tells me she is but there is something still missing from her, she isn't my Bella. I snapped to my senses "Bella Stop!" as I pushed her back gently by her shoulders. I was met with a devastated face. She looked hurt and confused.

"What did I do wrong?" she retreated back to her end of the sofa and pulled a pillow into her lap hugging it. I wanted to be that pillow so badly but I couldn't let her do this.

"Bella, I think we just need to slow this down a bit, it's only been 2 months, this just doesn't feel right, I love you and I want to be with you in every sense of the word, God you have no idea how much I want to be with you right now" I closed my eyes and tried to shake the image of a writhing naked Bella from my mind, "Bella, when I married you I meant every word of our vows and you are without a doubt my wife and I love you…" She interrupted me mid sentence.

"Then what's the problem?" She crawled across the couch seductively eyeing me the whole time as I was fighting and endless battle in my mind, I had to stop this before my body won out, I can't let her do this, I need to distract her somehow.

"The problem, err, you haven't had dessert yet." She stopped in her tracks and I could tell she too was battling an internal monologue; I internally kicked myself for my comment as she could easily misinterpret it in her obviously aroused hormonal mood. "How about a sundae?"

Her eyes instantly lit up, they weren't kidding when they said the way to a pregnant woman's heart was through her stomach, I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the kitchen and lifted her up onto the kitchen counter, her hair fell softly around her neck and the way her skin glowed in the gentle kitchen lighting I was beginning to regret my choice.

Sighing and taking a deep breath I emptied the freezer of its sweet contents, "Pick your Poison." She pointed to the Strawberry Ice cream like I assumed she would which made me smile, she hadn't changed that much at least. I then tossed her the can of whipped cream and all the sauces from the fridge, I tried my best not to cringe when she put strawberry, chocolate and caramel sauce on but I drew the line when she asked for the ketchup, I don't think I could have watched her eat that.

We sat on the counters eating our sundaes, I watched her lick and nurse the spoon with every bite, to say she was enjoying it would be like saying a man stranded on an arid deserted island wouldn't mind a glass of water, she was all but making love to the ice cream and for a brief moment I was jealous. In true Bella fashion by the time she was done she was wearing half of the sauce and I burst out laughing as she was licking her fingers clean of the sweet sticky sauce. "Oh Bella, I can dress you up but can't take you anywhere can I?" We both laughed.

"Edwaaaard, I'm all sticky." She whined as she looked down noticing the trail of dripping chocolaty goodness that I would give anything to lick off of her. "Edward?" I snapped to.

"Yes Love?"

"I think I need to change." I couldn't help but laugh at the expression on her face, she looked so sheepish, like a little kid who had just broken their mother's favorite vase and wasn't sure if they should hide it or come clean.

"Come on." I lifted her off the counter, she was sticky and I had no idea how a grown woman could end up wearing so much food, must be the baby, this was messy even for Bella.

I took her hand in mine and led her upstairs to our bedroom; the pit grew in my stomach with each step up as we grew closer, sweat now dampening my neck. I opened the bedroom door and pointed her to the closet. "You have lots to choose from love, I will be downstairs, just yell if you need any help." I could have smacked myself at that one. I had to make a quick escape before her hormones got the best of her again so I turned and left, shutting the door behind me.

I had made my way back downstairs and to the den and was gathering the dirty dishes when I heard the door open upstairs, that didn't take her long.

"Edward?"

Carrying an armful of plates and glasses I rounded the corner and she was at the top of the stairs still in her chocolate clad clothing. "I'm all sticky; do you think it would be OK if I had a shower?"

The thought of Bella naked in our shower was very appealing, "Of, OF course." Great now I was stuttering too! I deposited the dishes on the counter and climbed the stairs up to my waiting wife. I got out a towel and wash cloth for her and showed her how the shower worked, we had recently remodeled the bathroom and gotten one of those multi head shower systems complete with a rainfall shower, it was my new favorite room.

I had to get away from the mental image of her climbing into the shower so I flew down the stairs and filled the sink with water to clean the dishes. My mind was starting to wander as I was wiping the dishes clean and drying them when I heard a blood curdling scream from upstairs. I dropped the dish that was in my hand as it smashed to the floor in a thousand pieces. I bolted up the stairs taking them three at a time, the bedroom door was open but the door to the bathroom was locked. I screamed "Bella what's wrong?" She didn't answer. "Bella!" Again no answer. "I'm coming in!"

It took me slamming my shoulder into the door three times before the lock finally ripped through the door jam and flew open and I was met with a horrific sight, Bella stood naked in the shower frozen staring down at her feet that were swirling in red watery blood; my heart fell into my stomach at the terrifying image.

Her eyes shot up and met mine in a pained terrified patina as we both stood there frozen not knowing what to do. I could feel my insides churning and acid was burning up my throat. I shut off the water as Bella stood there frozen still terrified to move. Grabbing the nearest towel I wrapped it around her naked body and helped her out of the water, I didn't know what to say.

I managed to get her dressed into a pair of my sweats, I never thought I'd see the day when I had to help my wife put a sanity napkin on but I wasn't living in the moment, I kept having flash backs to the glossed over look on her face as she had lay there in a coma, the blank look back once again. Once she was dressed I sat her down on the bed and kneeled before her, she hadn't spoken or said a word.

A thought suddenly came to me, Alice, she would know what to do, I felt bad calling her on her trip but I wasn't a woman I wasn't equipped to deal with this sort of thing. Reaching over to the bedside table I grabbed the cordless phone and punched in Alice's cell number and thankfully she answered on the third ring.

"Hello, Edward?" she was giggling and laughing.

"A… Alice." I could barely slip the words out through my pained stutter.

"Edward, what's wrong, what's happened?" Panic growing in her voice.

"Its, Bella, she's, she's Bleeding Alice. The baby… I don't know, what do I do?" Were my words even coherent I wondered.

"OK, calm down Edward, find Bella's purse and call her Doctor, they will tell you what to do."

"Yeah, Doctor, right."

"Edward, call me as soon as you know anything, I will try and get the first flight out of here." I could hear Jasper in the background scrambling around as Alice explained what was happening.

"I will" and I hung up the phone and bolted from the room and down the stairs, I found her purse and brought it back up placing it in Bella's lap.

"Bella, can you find me the doctor's number please." My voice had taken on a paternal tone with her. Her eyes looked up to mine and she just sat there unable to move or comprehend. This obviously wasn't working so I dumped her purse on the bed, rifling through its contents until I found a business card marked 'Dr. James Andrews, Perinatology.'

A nurse answered on the second ring and I explained what had happened, she told me to bring Bella in to the hospital and that Dr. Andrews was on call tonight and would meet us there.

The drive to the hospital was silent, I wish I had words to comfort her but in the shock of the situation I was suddenly mute. I wanted more than anything to hold her in my arms and tell her everything would be alright but at that moment in time, I wasn't sure I could lie.

Dr. Andrews was an older gentle man, he patted Bella's hand as we sat in a triage room in the maternity wing, Bella still wasn't able to speak and I was beginning to wonder if she was even aware of her surroundings. My eyes met with the doctor's and he offered me a re-assuring glance, perhaps all hope wasn't lost.

"Bella?" He spoke to her putting his hand on her shoulder, "Mrs. Masen? Can you hear me?" she still didn't respond, she was lost in her own pained world. "I need you to lay back Bella, we are going to do an ultrasound and see what's happening, is that Ok with you?" She didn't budge from her catatonic state. Dr. Andrews eyes came over to mine and he nodded suggesting I help lay her back.

I took Bella's hand in mine as I sat at her shoulder while the Doctor set his machine up before exposing Bella's abdomen, he squirted the gel on her stomach and a familiar gray and black grainy image appeared on screen. "Bella, look," he pointed at the screen but she sat there staring up at the ceiling, I would give anything to be able to snap her out of this. He looked up at me and gave me a gentle smile before he reached over and pressed a button on the screen and a fast trotting sound filled the room.

Bella snapped out of it at the sound and her eyes bolted over to the screen still glazed but you could see the dawning in them as she absorbed that the sound filling the room was our baby's heart beat. Her eyes darted between the screen and my own; she looked confused and relieved at the same time begging for answers.

After a few more buttons and measurements Dr. Andrews finally wiped off Bella's tummy and pulled her up to a sitting position, he took the chair across from her and started to explain that Bella had a subchorionic hematoma, there was a pocket of blood under the placenta that had ruptured, and our baby was in fact still alive and well. This did put her at an increased risk of miscarriage but given that she was 12 weeks now he said he felt fairly confident for a positive outcome. With advice that Bella stay in bed for the next week and avoid all pelvic activities until further notice we were sent on our way back home with instructions to come back in weekly now for ultrasounds to make sure the hematoma was shrinking.

I was so relieved; I don't think I had ever been so scared in my life thinking our sweet little baby may have been gone and what that would have done to us, to Bella.

Exhaustion was evident on Bella's face; she could barely walk from the wheel chair to the car so I helped her in and buckled up her seatbelt. She shifted onto her left hip when I climbed into my seat and faced me. "Edward, I…" She was unable to illiterate her thoughts; she obviously was as dumbstruck as I felt.

"I know Hunny, I know, but the baby is OK, we are going to put the two of you to bed and everything will be fine." A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"I don't want to be alone; please can I stay at your place?" Her eyes were pleading with me and there was nothing I wanted more than to have my wife sleeping under our own roof.

"Of course Love." I started the car and drove back to our place; by the time the car was parked she was fast asleep and drooling on my leather seats. I sat for a few minutes in the dark just watching her, she wan an Angel, my Angel.

I managed to carry her upstairs without waking her; she was out cold from the exhaustion of the stress, I didn't want to risk waking her so I laid her on our bed clothes and all and gently covered her with the thick white duvet.

Seeing my wife lying there in our bed once again was the most beautiful sight I think I have ever seen. I couldn't take my eyes off of her for fear that I would wake up and she would be gone, I sat on the edge of the bed staring at her for ages, she was breathtaking.

Placing a single kiss on her forehead I left her to slumber and attempted to clean up the broken glass and mess in the kitchen, I was suddenly exhausted. I would have to risk waking Bella up by going into our room to change my clothes and shower, I had resolved to the fact that despite her earlier attempts to seduce me, as much as she may think she is ready, I would sleep in the guest room.

Before falling asleep I remembered to call Alice letting her know that everything was alright with the baby for now, she was getting ready to come home but I managed to convince them to stay, they needed the rest too, we've all been through a lot over the past couple of months. I would have to remember to get them something to thank them.

Morning came around and for the first time in 2 months I felt like I actually got some sleep; maybe having Bella back in the same home was all I needed. I quietly crept into our room where she still lay sleeping; she hadn't moved an inch from where I put her. I hopped into the shower and quickly cleaned up. After I shaved and dried up I decided to wrap a towel around myself, it was weird to think that the woman in my bed was my wife and had probably seen me naked a thousand times but had no memory of it.

I slipped into the closet quickly dressing into a pair of dark jeans and a navy blue button up shirt, when I came out of our large closet Bella was starting to stir in bed; she was stretching and groaning like a cat waking up from an afternoon nap. I went to her and crouched beside her kneeling on the floor, "Good morning sunshine."

She smiled up at me half awake before she bolted up in bed throwing her hands in her belly "The baby!"

I took her hands in mine and looked in her eyes, "The baby is fine, remember?"

"Oh yeah," relief was apparent across her face as she lay back down snuggling under the covers once again.

"You still tired Love?" I brushed a few stray hairs off her forehead and she smiled at me.

"Surprisingly NO! I slept great, this bed is so comfy." She rubbed her hands over the sheets petting them softly.

"Tell me about it! Remind me to get one like it for the guest room." She looked puzzled at my response.

"You didn't stay with me?" Her eyes looked up at me questioningly.

"No Love, I slept in the other room, taking things slow remember?"

"Always the gentleman." She pouted.

So we were back to this, I smiled proudly that knowing even with amnesia my wife was still hot for me.

"Alright little Momma, You go and have a shower, I will make you breakfast and bring it up to you, Doctor's orders." I gave her my best menacing glare before heading out the room and stairs.

I stood in my open kitchen scratching my head, what am I supposed to make her? Cooking isn't exactly my strong suit and I didn't want to leave her to go get take-out. I tried my best and took the tray I prepared up to her. She was sitting on the bed wearing a pair of stretchy yoga pants and one of my T-shirts.

She looked up at me biting her bottom lip, "I hope you don't mind? There wasn't much that fit me in the closet."

Did I mind? There is nothing sexier than when a woman wears your clothes, well Ok maybe taking those clothes off of her but… I had to snap myself out of it before my thoughts went any deeper in the gutter. "What's mine is yours."

I placed the try in front of her, and gawked as she chugged back the full glass of orange juice in one gulp before she started gnawing on the toast.

"Jasper wasn't kidding was he?" she chuckled.

"About what?"

"You really can't make toast!" She dropped it back on the plate and it flipped over revealing the burned side. I laughed.

"I will go to the bakery later and get you some muffins or something."

We both sat there chuckling at my failed attempt to serve her breakfast in bed.

"So what's the plan?" she asked

"The plan Mrs. Masen is for you to follow orders and stay in bed." She pouted at me. "You both need to rest."

She laid back down as I took the tray away from her letting out a loud humph, she looked so tiny in the big bed, I wanted nothing more than to dive in there next to her and never let her go.

I offered to go and get her some books which she happily agreed to, if food was her first weakness then books were a close second. I brought in a few of her favorites and also a couple manuscripts she had sitting on her desk from work. I left her to her own little world and told her that I would be next door in my office if she needed me.

A few hours later I heard Bella call my name, I don't think I could ever tire of the sound of her angelic voice. I knocked before entering reminding myself once again how bizarre this whole situation was. When I opened the door I found Bella sitting up against the headboard with a book perched open beside her.

"The baby's hungry." A huge smile stretched across her from ear to ear.

"And what does the baby want for lunch?" I raised one eyebrow which made her blush.

"Spaghetti!"

"For lunch?" my eyes popped out at her choice.

"And bacon!"

I burst out laughing to which she responded with a sad look, "I'm sorry" I chortled out; I shouldn't laugh at a pregnant woman's cravings but Spaghetti and bacon?

I indulged her craving and left on my errands. I told her I would probably be at least two hours as I would run by Alice's and get some of Bella's bigger clothes then take a trip to the market to get some food that I couldn't destroy.

The hostess at the local Italian restaurant raised one eyebrow when I placed my order before smiling at me and asking me if I was feeding a pregnant woman, apparently I am not the first guy to come in and order off-menu combinations. She told me that when she was expecting her son she craved watermelon dipped in syrup and he turned out OK.

I finally made my way back and Bella was just as I had left her nestled comfortably in our big bed with a book in her lap only now she was sound asleep. I couldn't let her sleep sitting up like that so I gently shook her awake. She came out of her groggy state and smiled up at me "Do I smell Spaghetti?"

"And Bacon just as you asked." I shook my head and passed the paper bag to her before heading back downstairs to get a tray out of the panty for her. When I returned she already had the foil lid ripped off and was eating it straight out of the container, the look on her face reminded me of a lion protecting a fresh kill. I didn't dare ask for any. Once she was done eating and my T-shirt she was wearing was covered in sauce I took the empty containers and the laundry downstairs. I thought she might now be thirsty so I brought her up a cold lemonade; I was at least capable of adding water to the concentrate without screwing it up too bad.

I hung her clothes up in the closet and hoped that they would be remaining there forever, now that I had her back home I don't think I could bear the thought of her leaving again.

Having Bella back home brought peace back in to my life, I was complete once again, when our friends returned from their trip I was thrilled when she asked to stay with me in our home. Our days were filled with laughter and the evenings with friends. Life was almost back to normal.

Bella made it through her first trimester with no further complications, I took her to the weekly doctor visits and was amazed each time we saw our little baby on that screen, each week that passed was a blessing as I watched her once flat stomach slowly start fill with our growing child, she glowed with a warm radiance.

Week sixteen came around and my lovely wife finally was released from her bed rest and was once again allowed to move about, she wanted to celebrate this victory by cooking dinner for all of us. Alice had come by to take her out shopping for the day when she suggested that Jasper and I go and have a guy's day; I jumped at the opportunity, I loved Bella more than anything but I was beginning to feel like a prisoner in our home too.

A guys day wasn't such a bad idea, we met up with my buddy Emmett, there just happened to be a Patriots game on so we headed out to a new Pub that had Emmett had recently signed a contract with. We goofed around and acted like idiots just like old times, it felt good to be out with the boys. A thought came to me that maybe next year at this time there would be another Boy with us? It was the first time I had ever really thought about the baby as being a person, of course if she's a girl she would still like sports right?

Jasper and I stumbled in just after six and the smells coming down the hall beckoned us forward, it had been just over three months since Bella had cooked for me and my mouth was watering at the smell of her lasagna. Seeing my wife laughing in the kitchen once again was a fresh dose of life for me.

I walked over to her as she carefully tossed salad in a bowl and I wrapped my arms around her, I had been avoiding physical contact as best I could since that night and attempting to keep thing mostly platonic until her memory returned but I couldn't resist. I placed a kiss on the back of her neck, she had her hair pinned up into a bun and I could taste the sweet tomato and garlic on her skin. She let out a quiet moan and spun around giving me a huge hug. I stood there holding her and basking in the warmth of her embrace.

The women soon kicked us out of the kitchen and proudly served us dinner; it was everything I had remembered of Bella's cooking and more. My stomach was ready to explode when we finally excused ourselves from the table to clean up.

After dinner we sat around talking and laughing some more, I couldn't take my eyes off of my lovely wife, the way the fabric moved over her small bulging belly was intoxicating, her hips had a new sway to them that was just calling my name.

The night finally came to an end and our friends left leaving us alone once again. An awkward silence filled the room, had I crossed the line when I came in greeting her so affectionately? I was nervous now as she busied herself around tidying up.

I was relieved when she called my name from the den beckoning me forward, had I been standing in the foyer the whole time? I walked in the den to find her sitting on the couch in the very middle; she pointed to the TV "Your choice, movie night." It was late but if it meant sitting next to Bella for a few hours I would gladly stay up despite my growing exhaustion.

I didn't even really pay too much attention to which movie I picked, I sort of just grabbed the first thing I saw and popped it in the DVD player, taking one of the empty seats beside her I wrapped my arms around the back of the sofa and she leaved into me, OK I could handle this, I brought my right arm around her pulling her closer to my chest, she let out a small sigh and she rested her head against my shoulder and be both drifted off to sleep.

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Review Please, it is the encouragement that keeps me going. DO you like Edward POV or Bella's better? Personally I think I enjoy Edwards little comments and he is fun to write. What do you think?


	13. Dirty Laundry

Twilight and all references to it belong to Stephenie Meyer, the soles of these delightfully tortured characters are all mine.

A/N. I am sorry I didn't get a chapter up yesterday, I was struggling with writing this one for a while, there are a few key points I had to get across that will all make sense soon. I will keep my profile updated with the status for when a new chapter will come out so please check back often. Thank-you for all the wonderful reviews and I love reading your guesses as to what will happen.

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**Dirty Laundry.**

Waking up next to Edward was exactly what I needed. I couldn't help feeling that over the past few weeks he was trying to distance himself from me physically and I was beginning to wonder if I had done something wrong until he came in and kissed the back of my neck. I just wished that there was someway he would open up to me and let me into his thoughts.

I wasn't sure exactly what time it was, the movie was over and looping through the menu. I had somehow slid down and my head now rested in a sleeping Edward's lap. I rolled onto my back and lay there looking up at him, he looked so peaceful while sleeping, when he was awake he looked like there was a constant turmoil raging inside his mind but this peaceful angelic looking stranger-husband of mine was beautiful and I couldn't help wondering if I was the cause of his grief.

My bladder soon brought me out of my reverie and I gently raised myself off of Edward's lap and the sofa to relieve the growing pressure that now had me waking up frequently in the night. When I returned to our cozy den Edward was gone, the TV shut off and the lights were out. Had he thought I'd gone to bed?

I quietly climbed the stairs and when I reached the top I couldn't help but feel pulled to the left side of the hallway, his door was slightly ajar and by pale lamplight I could hear him typing away once again into his computer. The urge to slip through the door and climb into the bed next to him was pulling hard on my last ounce of will power. I knew now that I was ready to be connected to Edward in every physical sense but he wasn't. I was no longer his wife and beloved Bella; I was a shell of her borrowing her body. I knew now that it wasn't Bella's body, my body that Edward longed for, he truly was in love with every part of her being and wouldn't settle for anything less than all of her and I wanted nothing more than to give her, myself back to him. I tip-toed back to the large white room I was occupying, Edward had moved some clothes out into the guest room so he rarely came in here anymore but to bring things to me.

I slipped into a pair of satin pajamas and climbed into the big lonely bed. My dreams were always of Edward lately but not the sweet visions of the future I looked forward too, my dreams had taken a bizarre twist: Edward was always holding a key in the dreams; I was baffled as to what it could possibly mean. Perhaps my sub-conscience was trying to tell me something. I had brought it up with the psychologist who always asked me what I thought it meant, which was little help, my best guess was that I truly had locked Edward away in my mind and there was some 'Key' needed to open it but what that key was I couldn't begin to guess.

A restless sleepless night finally gave way to morning and with it brought a pounding headache, I felt positively wretched and the longer the night went on the worse I felt. My body was aching and I felt like death was knocking at my door, there was no denying it, I was sick. I stumbled out of bed and scavenged through the medicine chest only to find that every package advised you to not take while pregnant, great I would have to endure this misery drug less.

Not even bothering to dress I trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen, I didn't think I could keep much down but the thought of ice cold orange juice was worth a try. Edward sat at the small kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper.

"Geesh, Bells, you look terrible, didn't you sleep?" He looked up at me with concerned eyes.

"No, I think I'm sick." I pouted to him as I slumped into the chair across from him.

"This came on quick; do you want me to make you a doctor's appointment?" He really did look concerned now.

"No, I think it's just a cold" With my stuffed up nose my voice sounded funny even to me.

"Back to bed then my Love, whatever you need, I will bring it up to you." He offered with a small sympathetic grin.

"Juice." I pouted and turned heading back up the stairs, the thought of falling into that big soft bed was my sole motivation, and every muscle in my body now ached.

A few minutes later Edward arrived with a tray adorned with glasses of Orange Juice and Water next to a tidy pile of crackers. "Here, he offered me a bottle of Tylenol, I called your Doctor's office and they said these are OK."

He was an Angel, a sexy nurse-maid bringing me relief in the form of two little white pills. I gratefully took the medicine and drank my juice before snuggling back under the covers, I looked up at him with a pout and he chuckled at me.

"My poor baby is sick, you just rest and try to sleep, yell if you need anything." In my delirium the only thoughts I had were of pulling him down into the bed next to me but I am quite sure my red puffy face wasn't part of his fantasies.

Before he even left the room I was asleep, swirling and dreaming of Edward in a room full of locks, he handed me a single key from his pocket and told me to open the lock, there were so many, I ran around the room sliding the key into each hole but none would open, there were two large doors on either end of the room, to the south I could hear a child crying behind the door, I frantically tried my key but it wouldn't fit in the lock. The door to the North was solid, not even a handle or lock. I could hear the child screaming now and I wanted to rush to its side and comfort it but my body started shaking.

"Bella, Bella wake up." I slowly came to and my body was still shaking only it wasn't actually shaking, I was gently being rocked, wrapped tightly in Edward's arms. "Shhh, it's just a dream Love, just a dream."

I started to cry and I wasn't sure exactly why, was I crying for the inability to open the locks to my own mind, or was I crying for the child I couldn't get to? Whatever the reason I felt whole being in Edward's arms, the pain for now at least was easing. "You are burning up Love."

"Huh," the room was spinning and I was quickly beginning to regret the tall glass of juice as I ran throwing myself in front of the toilet emptying the contents of my stomach.

I felt guilty as once again I was at my Stranger-Husbands mercy, surely when people took vows of 'sickness and health' they didn't get tested this much. I was wondering if he ever regretted it all when he started unbuttoning the blouse to my pajamas. Maybe this sickness wasn't such a bad thing.

"Bella, we need to cool you down," I could hear water running in the background but my only focus was on Edward's hands, he was undressing me and I didn't want him to stop. How had he managed to get all my clothes off so quickly? I must still be dreaming, I felt like I was floating in a sea of luke warm water. I could almost feel the soft water trailing between my fingers, there was a hint of rose in the air. This was a wonderful dream, so much better than my keyed nightmares.

The dawn of realization finally found me, I wasn't floating in a beautiful lake somewhere, I was in fact in an ornate marble tub of tepid water, to my side Edward sat dutifully wiping my face with a cool cloth. Realizing I was naked I reached to cover my body as best I could but soon let go of my inhibitions when I remembered that he had obviously seen me naked before. I still felt a little uneasy with my convalescence, the room still spinning only at a slower more bearable speed.

"Feeling any better?" His voice rang like an Angels and his eyes were once again my favorite shade of emerald.

"A bit, thanks, how did I get in here?" I asked with chagrin.

"I'm sorry about that, you were burning up so I undressed you and put you in the bath, I had to do something to bring your fever down but I think it's finally broken." He said as he placed his hand on my forehead sensing the temperature. "You had me worried there."

I hated knowing that I was the cause of all of his stress, If I were standing I would have been staring down at my feet probably kicking them lightly into the ground to hide my embarrassment, instead my eyes focused on my little baby bump.

Placing my hands on my now obviously rounded abdomen I felt three little pops, I could only describe it to Edward as popcorn popping in my stomach as I yanked his hand down placing it on my naked belly. He looked uneasy, like my move was an attempt to seduce him, he was pulling his hand back away from me when the little popping started again, his eyes exploded into a huge grin and he met my own eyes with a fascinated gaze. "What was that?" He asked in a warm wondered tone.

"That Edward was our baby." I smiled at him as I could see a single tear forming in his eye. We sat like that for a few moments waiting for our little nudger to move again.

"Bella, thank-you for sharing that with me." His eyes were smiling almost as brightly as his grin.

"Of course Edward; this is your child too." Just then the tiny little wiggler inside me decided to do a flip shaking my belly.

Both our eyes lit up and Edward's hands patted 'our' baby bump. "I think it likes your touch." I offered him pointing to my belly.

He leaded down putting his face near my navel and rubbed slow circles around it. The little bean inside me started to jump with excitement and I felt dozens of tiny popping sensations at his touch as he whispered. "Hello, little baby."

The water soon turned cold and I started to shiver, Edward being the gentleman he is handed me a terry bath robe before turning his back to me in an offer of modesty. Once I was dry I slipped into one of his T-shirts that I was starting to stretch out around the middle, he sat in the armchair in the corner of the room waiting for me to emerge from the closet.

"Bella, this is rotten timing with you being sick but I got a message that I need to sign some contracts today, a few of the executives from head office are flying in for the day, I would ask you to come but Love, I think perhaps it best if you stay home and rest. It will just be a quick dinner, I should only be gone a few hours, do you want me to have Alice come and stay with you?" He was always thinking of my comfort above all else, it was a sincere gesture but I couldn't help feeling like everyone thinks I am this fragile little creature that needs constant protection.

"I'm a big girl, I will be OK, besides I think the worst of it is over now, I will probably just watch a movie and go to bed early." I was surely capable of entertaining myself for a few hours without a babysitter.

"Can I bring you back something to eat?" He had me; I wasn't going to say no to that!

"Surprise me!" I smiled at him.

He left the room to go and get ready, I took the seat he had just vacated and curled up with my book, I was trying to finish Alice's Vampire story and was just at the part where the obviously obtuse girl finally figures out that her crush is in fact a vampire when Edward walked back in. He looked positively dashing in a tailored black pin stripe suit set over a silvery gray shirt and tie, his hair was combed back but still showed a small hint of rebellion at his attempt, he was stunning.

I smiled up at him; "My, Don't you clean up nice!" to which he chuckled before bending down to give me a kiss on the forehead.

"You sure you will be OK?" I nodded back in response as he knelt in front of me placing his hand on my belly. "You be good for Mommy." His eyes met mine once more before he turned and left.

Mommy? Why did that word seem so magical? I WAS going to be someone's Mommy, not just a Mother or a Mom but a Mommy. The word held power and excitement, I felt like dancing and regaling in my new favorite word. My bladder once again had other ideas; I would have to save the dancing for later.

I really was finally feeling better so I slipped on a pair of Edward's jogging pants and made my way down to the den for the evening. There were hundreds of movies to choose from but I settled for 'The Princess Bride', it was a girl's stand-by for rainy afternoons. I was regaling in the dashing and brave Westley's adventures when I heard the phone ring.

"Hello?" I asked into the receiver. It was Alice calling to check up on me, who was I kidding? Of course Edward had called her; they all must really think that I am completely incapable of solitary survival. It took some convincing to get her to accept that I would be OK on my own for a few hours; she finally hung up after threatening to call me every five minutes to check up on me. I didn't doubt her.

My Stomach was starting to rumble again and there was a box of pop tarts calling my name from the pantry. I was just about to take my first bite when the phone rang again, I groaned preparing to snap at Alice, it hadn't even been a full five minutes yet.

"No I haven't managed to hurt myself in the last two minutes Alice so please Chill out girl!" I rolled my eyes at her impatience.

I was shocked though when it wasn't Alice's voice that replied. "Well I'm very glad to hear that Love but why would Alice assume you would be hurt? Are you OK?" Edward asked me.

"Of course I am OK"I snapped "I am quite capable of taking care of myself, you guys baby me too much." My bite wasn't exactly gentle; I felt a moment of guilt for taking my anger at Alice out on Edward.

Chuckles erupted from Edward's end of the phone, "Of course you are my Love, of course you are." Some how I doubted his belief in me and I rolled my eyes once again.

After a few pleasantries he finally got down to the fact that he had forgotten a document at home and asked me if I could email it to his blackberry. I was beyond mortified when I had to ask my husband for his email address. He explained to me that I was looking for and where to find it on his laptop.

It took a moment for me to make my way up to his office, even though he had asked me to, I still felt like I was invading his privacy, this was his sanctuary. Once the computer was booted up I searched for the file in question.

I stared at the long list of files in front of me, what was the file called again? Laund… something, there were two files; Laundry and Launders, it could be either? I started with the Launders file first, it made the most sense. Something resembling a proposal to buy shares popped up so I assumed this was what he needed but I wasn't completely certain. I could call him and ask but I was embarrassed by my ineptitude to remember a name. I typed out a quick note and forwarded the file to him.

Not completely convinced that I had the right file I opened the second one marked 'Laundry'. What came up on the screen shocked me, it wasn't a business document at all but a note addressed to me, in fact there were several entries.

I moved to close the file but I wondered, was this meant for me to find? They were addressed to me after all. Curiosity got the best of me as I sat in his soft leather office chair and I was soon lost into Edwards deep and very personal thoughts.

_My Dearest Bella,_

_I can't believe what has transpired in the last few days and I can't help feeling this is all my fault. I know that if this were really you talking to me and not a lifeless computer screen that you would tell me I am being an idiot but you aren't here to talk any sense in to me, God I miss you so much baby, this is the only way I can think of to talk to you._

_The Doctors say that maybe you can hear me but I can't bear to speak aloud to you and tell you how I really feel._

_Bella, I've failed you, I am a worthless excuse for a man. Our Anniversary was supposed to be this passionate event and instead I am the reason you lay there battered and broken in a coma. Coma, what a desolate word. I deserve to be the one laying in a bed now or even better I don't deserve to be breathing. Maybe I should go hunting for those guys and beg them to finish me off. I don't deserve to be alive for what happened to you. I should have fought, I should have let them shoot me, anything that might have given you a chance to escape, and even if I was dead you would be better off with a dead husband than one who allowed a man to violate his beloved wife._

_I swear Bella, if he weren't holding a knife to your neck I would have died fighting for you. I was afraid, I was weak, I was… I can't even come up with a strong enough word for the hate I feel for myself. Bella promise me that you will never forgive me._

I sat staring at the screen in front of me, is this how he really felt? Had he been blaming himself this whole time? He was in so much pain. Does he still feel this way? Now I really felt intrusive, I am an awful person for allowing myself to read this, clearly he never intends to share this with me, or does he?

I had to shake this discovery from my mind, suddenly remembering the pop tarts that lay abandoned in the kitchen I trudged downstairs ruefully eyeing the wine rack; I would give anything for a drink right about now! I would have to settle for more juice though.

The phone rang for a third time that evening and not wanting to embarrass myself again I looked at the call display this time, it read "Imperial Tower" not knowing the name I cautiously answered. "Hello?"

"Mrs. Masen? Good evening, it's Jimmy down in the lobby, you have a delivery would you like me to sign for it or send it up?"

Had Edward sent food to me? Now I really felt guilty for invading his personal thoughts, "Send it up please."

I quickly ran upstairs and changed into a gray stretch yoga suit that hugged all of my new curves. Hearing the doorbell I rushed down to greet my surprise. I opened the door to find a young man holding a bouquet of mixed flowers.

He was so thoughtful! I signed for them remembering my new-found last name for the first time and set the beautiful arrangement on the living room coffee table. There was a card tucked between a rose and a carnation that read '**To my pretty little flower, I will see you soon!'** There was no name on the card and I didn't recognize the handwriting so I assumed the florist must have written it, it's the thought that counts.

I couldn't help my curiosity now; the Laundry file upstairs was calling me. I tried my best to justify the intrusion into Edward's very personal thoughts only managing to convince myself that perhaps I would find some little detail that I could use to help Edward or even better maybe trigger my memory to return.

_Bella, My Bella, Today I received both the best and worse news in the same moment. The Doctor just explained to me that you are expecting! I thought the day that I would hear those words that they would be coming from your beautiful pink lips instead the most beautiful word I could imagine was tainted with wretched bile. "Mr. Masen, we also have to face the possibility that without knowing the date of conception that this fetus could have been conceived during the assault." That phrase keeps playing over and over in my mind. How could I of let this happen? I don't know what is worse, the thought that this child might not be mine or the fact that it may be mine but you both could now be poisoned with a life altering disease? God, kill me now. I am so Sorry Bella, I don't deserve the air that I am breathing._

I was shocked! No one had told me that the paternity of our child had ever been questioned. I wondered again if I had even known that I was pregnant at the time when a tiny re-assuring nudge reminded me that I was not alone in my worries, I gave a few tiny pats to my Bella as if it too was worried for Edward.

"There, there little baby, we will help your Daddy through this won't we?" I waited for a response from my little popper but there was none.

Do I dare read on? Who was I kidding, I'd gone this far how much worse could it get?

_My Beautiful Bella, my little Minx you have just given me the most amazing gift my love, I only wish that you were here with me, and that you were awake to see OUR child on that screen. You my love, I can't even begin to express the joy and relief I feel knowing that our sweet innocent little baby was a blessing created in love._

_Wake up Baby, bask in this moment with me, come and scream from the rooftops with me. I need to talk to someone my love; will you forgive me if I share the news? I want to run out and fill a room with gifts for our child; I am going to be a Daddy!!_

A Huge smile stretched across my face from ear to ear. I could almost feel like I was there joining in the moment and sharing in this joy jumping and shouting from the rooftop. I wondered if he ever did that. I decided to read on.

_My love, I've failed you once again. I had the chance to avenge you when I saw that pig of a man tonight standing outside the pub; an animal took over, my eyes unfocused I saw nothing but tattered red rain as I beat him senseless._

_I could have finished the job had Emmett not have pulled me off of him, Damn you Emmett! I needed this, for the first time in eleven days I felt that I had a reason to live. To think that just hours ago I stood in a toy store searching for the perfect teddy bear to give to our child and now I sit here in your dark hospital room with battered hands, a black eye and ink stains on my fingers. I don't care if I spend the rest of my life in jail, I will find them Bella and finish the job I started, I promise you that!_

I wasn't sure if I felt any comfort at the thought of both of those men being dead. When we got the news yesterday that the one Edward had fought outside the pub had died I thought I felt relief, clearly Edward did. I couldn't imagine his beautiful hands taking a life. A worse thought came to mine, what if he didn't succeed and instead he had died, our child and I would be burying a father and husband. I felt positively sick at the though but even that wasn't enough to make me stop reading.

_My Love, my sweet Beautiful Bella, Tonight when you opened your eyes for that brief second before you fainted, your beautiful eyes met mine and I knew that you would come back to me, Thank-you Bella, you rest now Love, I will be right here waiting for you to wake up._

Had I woken up? I couldn't remember; my first memory was of Alice before she pointed out Edward to me. I was now insane with curiosity.

_Bella, where are you my love? Earlier I was so certain that you had come back to me only to have all my hopes and dreams pulled out from under me. You don't remember me? How can you not remember me? This torture is far worse that all the past weeks combined, if I can't have you Bella, all of you, I don't want to live. Perhaps God is just and this is my penance for what I allowed to happen to you._

Suddenly I was flooded with tears; I could no longer see the screen in front of me. I remembered the pained look in his eyes when I didn't remember our life together. He hadn't just lost a wife but he had lost his will to live.

I needed a break from the intense emotions I was feeling, at this very moment I too hated myself. All this time I have been frustrated with myself for not remembering and here Edward felt far more pain than anyone should ever feel. I longed to reach out to him and take him in my arms and comfort the stranger I had grown to love.

Hoping to wash away the pain I showered, the entire time all I could think about was Edward and his confessions, I had to read the rest.

_Bella, my beautiful missing Bella, Jasper is proposing to Alice tonight. I am thrilled for them but I can't help feeling jealous, will you ever feel that love for me again? Will I ever get to hold you again? I was remembering that night you gave me my piano love, the memory of your double gifts and the intensely passionate night we spent on top of the piano? Will you ever remember that night? I would give anything to feel your touch again love, the warmth of your body next to mine… I can't do this, please Bella, I need you, Come back to me._

Guilt was my new companion, the deeper I ventured into this thought the worse I felt for the invasion but I couldn't stop myself.

_Bella, I'm torn, tonight on the roof top when we kissed, it was everything I wanted and longed for but given to me on a double edged sword._

_The moment our lips met it was like kissing a stranger, physically you are Bella but Love, I don't want your body if you aren't in it._

_I am supposed to be paying my debt to society in the morning; I was a coward once again and took a plea bargain. I could have held out and let the case go to trial, they wanted to charge me with aggravated assault and I could possibly have even won in court but pleading guilty to assault means you not having to take the stand, this will be my cross to bear and mine alone._

_What is one week of my life, two years probation and a criminal record compared to the pain you may someday feel if you were forced to face those men? This is my last gift to you Bella._

His last gift? What did he mean by that? When he left for his 'business trip' he had promised to come back to me, was he lying to me?

_Bella, I'm so sorry my love, I had every intention of walking into that prison and never walking out. The turmoil of our kiss keeps playing through my mind._

_I love you for better or worse and in sickness and health but I can't help the feelings that right now Bella, you aren't my wife. Yes Love, reason tells me that you are but with every touch I feel more and more guilty, I am cheating on my wife with her own body._

_I can't bear the thought of not being near you though I am my own worst enemy and you deserve better. If only I knew you still loved me, if only there was hope that I knew you could love me again without all those years or memories, can you Love me Bella? If you do remember that night will you ever be able to love me again?_

Stupid me, why haven't I told him how I feel? Edward, I love you! I was fighting everything in my being telling me to run to him, to call out his name but I know that I am not the Bella he wants; I now understand the meaning of the word Agony. My soul for lack of a better oxymoron is a Frozen-Ember. My love that Edward wants is frozen but if the ice melts will the flame be extinguished?

_Bella, I feel like I am dating my own wife, this is insane. I can see your trust in me growing and I wonder if it is just your body remembering me or if this new you is growing to love me too?_

_I can see your body starting to change daily with our growing child and I feel like a foreigner in my own life. I go with your to doctors visits, I see our child on the screen but can't help feeling like a stranger to you, OPEN UP to me Bella, let me LOVE you, I can love enough for the both of us if you will let me._

"How can I not love you Edward?" Great so now I am talking to computers too! I am insane; I've been torturing this beautiful man with my silence.

_Bella, I'm torn once again. Alice and jasper are leaving for their trip and I am afraid to be alone with you. Am I man enough to protect you? Can I keep you safe? How can you trust yourself around me knowing what I have done?_

_I was Angry now, furious at myself, at Edward and at the two wretched men that did this to US, yet I still read on just to torment myself a little longer. Now I can add masochist to my list too._

_Oh God Bella, what have I done? I let down my guard; when our lips met I felt alive again, my heart was pounding at your every touch._

_I'm sorry my Love but I had to stop it; I can't bear the thought of kissing anyone but you, the real you who loves me back. I thought life was simple; I was doomed to be tortured._

_When I heard you scream in the shower and I saw the blood, I had never felt so much agony. I failed you yet again. You stood there frozen and I was brought back to those first days when I was so full of tortured hope, I didn't know what to do._

_I thought hearing our child's heartbeat would make this painful decision easier but Bella, I am no good for you, I can't be trusted._

Didn't, doesn't he know that I trust him? There is no way he could have caused the bleeding, the doctor even said so himself.

I knew I'd been sitting here in Edward's office all evening and he would be home soon but I continued to read on.

_Bella, these past few weeks have been a joyous torture. When you asked to stay in our home I was hopeful, I keep hoping each morning that we will wake up and this will have all been a nightmare only each day the torture keeps growing and there is no sign of dawn._

_I sit in the room some nights and watch you sleep. You call out my name in tortured nightmares and I can't help but wonder if my being here is only causing you more grief._

_I have tried to distance myself from you physically, it helps to ease the pain and guilt but I want nothing more that to hold you in my arms._

_I want to make love to my wife; I want to raise our child together in that love._

_Bella, I want you to love me back, all of you. My heart can't take much more, everyday that you don't remember me I die a little more. Come back to me Bella, come back!_

Blank screen rolled before my eyes. That was his last entry.

What was I going to do with my new found knowledge? He wants nothing more than to hear that I love him and I do but he wants all of me and I know I can't give that to him.

Do I let this charade go on knowing that I am torturing him the whole time? Can I, Will I cause him more pain? If only I knew what this key meant I could take away all of his pain, he deserves that, he deserves HIS Bella.

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Please Review!!

We finally know what's going on in Edwards head but will Bella unlock her mind with this new knowledge? What do you think the "Key is"?? Tell me your guesses. Do you guys prefer the longer chapters or would some shorter ones be OK? I was trying to stay fairly uniform but there are some things that need to be said from different POV's and I hate switching mid chapter.


	14. Keys and Leather

A/N Sorry its been a few days, I wasn't able to get in to FF to update the story or even change anything in my profile. I still have a lot planned for this story and have been stuck on how to go about a pivotal plot point but I think I have it all worked out now so please come along for the ride. Share the story with your friends too, each review is encouragement for me to continue, at the worst moments one will arrive in my in box and inspire me, I couldn't continue without them.

Stephanie Meyer owns all twilight references, Edwards delightfully twisted mind however belong to me...

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**Keys and Leather**

Dusk was falling fast through the windows and giving way to night, I sat in Edwards big leather chair staring out the window. I had to make a decision; this situation wasn't doing either of us any good; what were my options though? I could confess my love to Edward knowing that it will break his heart without the memories that go behind that love. He will be tortured, or do I keep silent knowing that each day of silence makes him hate himself even more. Who should I allow him to hate? Himself or me?

I am at an impasse; I want nothing more than to throw myself into his arms and Love him, I need that, but can I be that selfish and do that to him?

I needed time to think, I had to clear my head and devise a plan. I shut down the windows on his computer and powered it off making sure to leave the room just as I had found it. Deciding I needed a change of scenery I went for a walk. I didn't know the neighbourhood well but I knew it well enough that I was sure I could find my way back despite what others may think.

The cool late October air was startling and brought small pangs to my lungs with each deep cleansing breath, my skin still flush from recent fever I wished I had thought to put on a warmer jacket, it was going to be one of those icy cold winters this year, it was symbolic perhaps a sign of what was to come; no I hadn't decided anything yet, surely a cool fall night wasn't an almanac for our romantic future.

I had made my way around the block for the second time when I started to feel silly for walking in circles, I ventured further down the street, I vaguely remembered there being a small park that was well lit, maybe if I sat for a while some epiphany would come to me and I could make sense of all of this. Rounding a small curve in the street I saw my destination, there was a double swing set nestled beside a street lamp, the whole area was clearly visible from the passing traffic, this was a safe park, a family friendly playground and I wondered if in a few months time we would be bringing our child here.

The gentle swinging motion was soothing, it reminded me of being rocked in my mother's arms as a child after I would have fallen and scraped my knees, how did Mothers always make the pain better with something as simple as hugs and kisses. Love really was the best medicine, too bad they couldn't bottle it.

A man pushing a stroller made his way into the small park and placed his little boy on a baby swing a few seats down from me, I hadn't spent a lot of time with little kids but I was guessing he was somewhere around two. The little boy with big blue eyes laughed and reached his hands out in a pumping fashion asking for more as his father, I assumed, would push him back and forth. His giggles filled the air as the little boy called out "Dadda, Dadda, Dadda!" It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. His sweet curls framed his Cherub face; he looked like a miniature version of his father.

I tried picturing Edward in the man's place, I was sure he would be a wonderful father, he was so attentive to others, a true Martyr, isn't that what parenthood was about, Sacrifice? I had to stop seeing Edward as a victim if I was ever going to come to a decision; If only my mind wasn't this lock box and I knew what the dreams meant with the screaming child and Edward holding a key. Examining every possible meaning that held, is Edward the key or the child that is screaming? Why am I unable to open the locks with the Key Edward gives me though, surely if it had anything to do with him then it should open right? Ergh, this is driving me insane.

There is nothing I want more in this world to spend the rest of my life with Edward, that part is clear. Yes he is angry and blames himself for what happened but if I don't remember it at all, shouldn't he forgive himself? I am not angry with him; I am sure that even if I could remember that night that I wouldn't be, so why did he blame himself so deeply? There has to be more to this but what could I do about it; Walk up to him and say 'so I was snooping through your other files and came across those notes you wrote me and I think you are a beautifully wounded idiot?' OK perhaps sarcasm isn't the key.

The little wiggler in my belly started to do acrobatics and I looked down at my bulging abdomen as I rubbed circles over my clothes. "I know Baby, I will figure this all out, don't you worry."

My little escape to the park wasn't making things that much clearer but I was resolved, I had to let Edward know how I felt, it may make things worse but I have to take the chance.

When I made it back home, Edward wasn't there yet, the place was just as lonely as when I had left, the only sign that a couple lived here despite the happy photo's on the mantle was my beautiful bouquet. I pulled the card from the holder and decided to take it upstairs with me, I wanted to keep this little note close to me as I slept, it was one message that I knew I was allowed to read.

I was in the bedroom putting the note on the bedside table when I heard a key fumbling in the door downstairs. I bolted to the stairs as quick as I could without falling down them, he was just putting his foot on the bottom step when I met his gaze, and he looked gray and pale, not the dashing and debonair Prince that had left hours ago.

"Edward?" my brows furrowed, I had seen him upset and angry but this was a different expression he wore, one I couldn't place, I suddenly felt sick again, this clearly wasn't the time for a heartfelt conversation.

He didn't respond to me verbally, he simply lifted his hand up showing off a paper bag, he had brought me dinner. Making my way down to the bottom step where he still stood only now leaning against the banister for support.

"You Ok?" I asked him, his expression still seemed off to me.

"Fine love, just tired." Great this again, my mood suddenly soured. After having read his journals I knew better, tired was code word for 'utterly miserable and self loathing'. I rolled my eyes at his response as I passed him grabbing the food out of his hands.

I wasn't sure how to respond to him yet so I dished my food out on a plate as I pondered, I poured a glass of juice and sat at the kitchen table, Edward was still standing at the foot of the stairs watching me, only was he sweating now? I was feeling guilty again for having invaded his personal thoughts; did he know what I had done? I looked down at my food wearing chagrin.

"If you don't mind Love, I think I am just going to go up to bed." He proclaimed as he was already half way up the stairs, his back turned to me.

This was new, Edward always martyred his feeling but this was almost bordering on rude for him! Had something happened at his meeting? A wave of nausea overcame he at a wayward thought, maybe he wasn't at a meeting after all? He wouldn't lie to me would he? I tried to convince myself that his calling to ask for a file was proof enough and perhaps I was being overly suspicious now. I had just read the inner workings of his mind, surely I knew him better than that, didn't I?

I finished up my dinner which was delectable of course, chicken Parmesan served over a bed of fettuccine Alfredo with a healthy serving of pickles for a side dish, he even got me a slice of banana cream pie; he knew me too well. I made sure to put fresh water in my flowers before going upstairs, I would have to remember to thank Edward in the morning for his lovely gesture, now I was being rude.

When I rounded the top step I didn't see or hear the usual site of Edward typing away from the guest room on his computer, both rooms were dark with doors slightly ajar, I stepped closer to his door placing my hand gently on it opening it a few inches, there was a mound in the center of the bed, stiff and unmoving, he really had gone to sleep. I once again felt guilty for my suspicions.

Slipping into the room quietly I noticed that his suit was discarded on the floor, this definitely wasn't Edward's tidy fixated perfection, something was wrong. I picked up the clothes and lay them quietly on the back of a chair that was next to the bed before I took a seat in it. He was deep in sleep already. As the moonlight was creeping through the open curtains I could see his eyes dancing deep in a dreaming state.

I moved closer to get a better look at the tortured man that confounded me, his face was twisted and contorted in pain, his body started to stir and he let out a sigh, I felt a moment of relief as his body relaxed but my reprieve was only momentary as Edwards arms started reaching out into the darkness, did he know I was there? His eyes were still violently spasming in deep sleep as his hands found me. Now I knew what he meant about feeling torn.

He moaned out my name in a hushed sleeping state, my hand instinctively went to his forehead so smooth back the creases on his furrowed brow, he was burning up; this explained everything now, Edward was sick! I was now batting two new emotions, I wanted to run from him and lock myself away to protect him, he had suffered enough and now he had caught my flu and yet I yearned to care for him, to nurse him back to health as he had done for me but I didn't get to make the decision for myself as Edwards hands found mine on his forehead and he pulled me on to the bed next to him.

This was wrong, this felt very very wrong. He was obviously deep in sleep and I can't hold him responsible when he is clearly fevered, my mind was shouting at me to get up and leave but my body now pressed against his was so comforting. Maybe I could just stay for a few minutes until he is settled, or so I was trying to convince myself. He moaned out my name as he rolled onto his side taking my arm with him which now lay draped over his chest, it was clear he longed to be held.

If I stayed here with him for a while in his unconscious sleep, he would never know, it couldn't hurt could it? I lay down on the bed next to him resting my head on my right arm, his profile was bold in the pale moonlight, he was without a doubt the most beautiful man I had ever seen and clearly he loved me.

Nuzzling in a little closer to him, my body now pressed against his blanketed body, the only exposed flesh was his strong lean arm that held my hand so contentedly against his chest. He seemed settled now; perhaps my being near him was easing his restless dream.

For the first time I was able to watch Edward without him knowing, he looked older now than when I first met him all those years ago in the restaurant, my one memory of him replayed in my mind, his bold shocking move definitely got my attention, I was so young and naïve then, he probably could have used a common one liner and I would have followed him home like a lost puppy. His face now bore subtle changes, his features although still stunning bore signs of strain beyond his years. His skin was smooth and chiseled over his distinguished cheek bones and his lips now relaxed into a soft pink pucker, not the practiced rigidity of his recent guarded strain.

I lay my head down on the pillow next to his and pulled my arm tighter around him, I could smell the subtle hint of cologne on his skin wafting with the sweat of fever. His body shifted back into mine and he mumbled something that I was only able to catch a few words of: Bella, love and sorry. Even in his slumbered state he still rued for his actions. I wanted to ease his discomfort more than anything so I whispered quietly in his ear, "Edward, I love you."

I wasn't expecting a verbal response, he was clearly still deep in slumber, the response I did get though wasn't what I expected, his fingers now started walking, tapping out a tune on an invisible piano. A thought came to me that I had never heard Edward play, he mentioned in his notes to me that I had given him the fancy piano downstairs as a wedding gift and Alice had even mentioned his playing on more than one occasion, but why hadn't he played for me? I remembered only part of a conversation with Alice now that Edward had quit playing long ago after his Mother had died and that he didn't start playing again until I had given him his gift. But had he quit again? Was this a habit? Symbolic perhaps that he only started playing again when he found happiness within our marriage and now again his keys sit silent in his torment. Surely he loved to play but did he need love in return to make music?

Without question Edward was a deep and fascinating man, I was constantly learning something new about him and each little nuance only added to the mystery and allure.

His restless sleep finally settled with my loving words and as I drifted off to sleep next to the man I loved I could almost hear the melody that his fingers tapped out.

It was sometime in the early morning when I woke, dawn hadn't quite broken over the city but the black of night was slowly giving way to a grey and drizzly morning. I debated long and hard if I should sneak out of Edward's bed before he noticed my presence, he was still frozen in his now peaceful slumber; the only sign of life was the slow rise and fall of his chest. My hand still held tightly in his as his nimble long fingers entwined through mine clutching them tightly to his chest. I was weighing the pro's and con's of staying when my body gave me other ideas, my now 17 week pregnant body felt like I was carrying all of the weight on my bladder. I slipped out of his room and quietly made my way back to my white solitary chamber.

Lying in the big white bed alone my body longed to be next to my Edward again, the sheets felt cool and crisp without a warm body next to mine. Perhaps there was some way to work out a sleeping arrangement that would comfort us both? I wondered as I eased myself back into a restless early morning nap.

I was twirling and spinning in the room of locks, the child wailing from beyond the locked door, Edward standing beside me telling me "Use your Key!" but again none of the locks would open. The opposite door; Black and covered in leather, bearing no locks or handles called to me, I wanted nothing more than to throw myself through the door to rescue the child but the dark leather was now drawing me closer and closer, I wanted to feel the soft leather and caress it but the screaming child silenced as soon as my hands met the cool pelt.

Jolting upwards I was sweating and panting for air, this was a new development? I had never made it as far as touching the black door before in all my nightmares. I had decided to give up on self analyzing my dreams and clearly the professionals weren't much help, maybe I should see a psychic?

My clothing was drenched in sweat now and my muscles tightened and tensed with my indecisiveness. I stood in the marble bathroom staring at myself in the mirror, hoping that the woman staring back at me held the answers but she appeared as aloof as I did.

"Tell me your secrets already!" I snapped at myself in the mirror as I slammed my hands on the counter before it, Ugh, I really am losing my mind.

Drawing a nice warm bubble bath I climbed into the marble tub and let the warm waters soothe my aching muscles, once again I felt like I was floating in a sea of tranquility, there was something about this room that was so peaceful and this big beautiful bath tub was fast becoming my favorite sanctuary.

The water finally turned cool enough to force me to leave, my body having sapped all the heat from it I climbed out and into my fluffy bath robe feeling refreshed. The face that now met me in the mirror was a much calmer one, the Bella I was expecting to see, my soft eyes were kinder, gentler now, maybe I should just move into the tub permanently.

It was still early morning when I dressed; there was something about being sick that made time lose all meaning, I was feeling better but still not one hundred percent. I no longer fevered but my muscles still ached and my throat itched and burned, obviously a crisp walk in the fall air wasn't the smartest decision on my part. I didn't feel like putting much effort into clothing today, Alice had stocked the closet quite efficiently with more maternity wear than I could possibly need but I slipped into my recent favorite stand-by, a pair of Edwards sweats. I had never actually seen him wear anything so casual so I just assumed that he rolled out of bed looking like a stunning model, he could probably put on a potato sack and still turn heads.

The rain was pounding outside onto the little patio; I could see the drops jumping on the small round glass table like they were splashing each other in a fun little game of tag. The sounds of each drop hitting its predecessor started to drill holes through my nerves as a splitting headache swelled. Where is that Tylenol that Edward had brought me yesterday?

I searched the medicine chest once again and came up empty; it wasn't on the bedside table where I had thought I had seen him leave it so logically… That meant that he was up and had come in to get it while I was in the bath. The throbbing pain wasn't helping me to think clearly, there was something I was supposed to talk to him about but I couldn't place it, I wanted to retreat to my white downy haven but the pain was going to win this battle.

Tip-toeing down the hall I noticed his door was open now and a man sized lump lay in the middle again. On the left table beside the bed sat my target, if I can just sneak in undetected I could avoid my impending disastrous conversation. My hand reached out with my fingertips stretching as far as they could, just reaching the edges of the little bottle. I peeked down at the sleeping Edward but two bright green eyes stared back at me. Gulp, he wasn't sleeping after all.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" I asked tenderly.

"Rotten, you?" He replied.

"A bit better but my head is pounding and each rain drop sounds like an elephant stepping on a drum." I replied in hyperbole, perhaps I was being a little dramatic today. "Do you mind sharing the Tylenol?" my fingers finally grabbing their purpose.

"Help yourself; here I'll go get you some juice." He sat up in the bed looking positively dreadful.

I chuckled, "I don't think so buddy, you don't look so hot."

"I've had worse" he replied laying back down. Yeah I bet he's had worse, how about having a gun pressed into your face while you live your worse nightmare, do you mean that kind of worse?

Thinking up witty internal retorts was making my pain double; I gulped down two of the chalky pills dry, begging that by some miracle they would take instant effect. No such luck.

"Go back to sleep Edward, you need some rest." I insisted in my best maternal tone.

"Actually I'm not tired, for some reason; despite being sick I slept great last night, better than I had in months actually." He let out a pondering humph.

"Well I'm going back to bed; I didn't sleep quite as well." I left out the part 'because I stayed up watching you half the night.'

I retreated out of the room and back down the hallway regretting every step, I had chickened out. His unconscious response to my proclamation of love comforted him; he even admitted he slept better, now I just have to figure out how to tell him that I was the reason why.

From the other end of the hall I could feel every ounce of my body drawing me towards Edward now; I just wish that I could give him everything he wants. I climbed back into the bed in an attempt to drown the conversation I was now practicing over and over again in my mind.

The revolving words slowly gave way into my keyed vision once again, this time I was standing alone in the room that now only bore one door, the child cried for me from behind the leather prison, I pushed and struggled to force the door open but again there were no handles or locks of any kind. My heart was aching for the child trapped in the darkness. I slid down onto my knees, my cheek pressed firmly against the cool leather that was now streaked with my tears. I could just faintly hear something else with the child behind the door, was it music? As the melody grew louder the wailing stopped and the child settled and now started to giggle and laugh.

Refusing to open my eyes after for once not waking in a panic I lay there replaying the dream over and over only bringing more questions to mind now. Was Edward the one playing the music and soothing the child? Why wasn't he in the room with me anymore and why had the other door disappeared? Had I finally unlocked something in my mind? I scanned through memories but nothing new came to fruition but something had changed. I was now resolved, I knew I had to confront Edward and share my feelings no matter the consequences.

My headache was now just a dull throb, bearable. I rose from the bed resolved that now would be the perfect moment while I had the courage and a little bit of rest on my side. I made my way down the corridor back to Edward's room; he was sitting up in the bed typing away on his laptop. Nausea swept over me as I wondered what he was working on, was it another note to me? Would I have the courage or audacity to sneak in later and peek? Should I just ask him?

He looked up at me and smiled, his nose now red and puffy shadowed by his swollen red eyes. Not exactly the image of romance. Perhaps I could postpone the conversation till we were both healthy.

"What are you working on?" I pried.

"Nothing important; just can't sleep so I thought I would catch up on some emails." He informed me very matter or factly.

"Anything good?" I asked but what I really wanted to ask was 'are any of those messages written to me and hidden in a secret file?'

"No, just work stuff mostly, and one to my cousin Rose, she's coming to town for Thanksgiving and was wondering if she could stay here for a few days."

"You have a cousin?" Alice had only mentioned his parents passing but I had never thought that perhaps he had other family.

"Yes, Rosalie, I don't talk to her very often, she lives in Chicago but we had a falling out a few years ago and aren't that close. It's no big deal." He shrugged.

"Is there other family that I don't know about?" I was curious what other parts to my life I couldn't remember.

"No, Just Rose and I, you've met her a couple of times, Bella but trust me, you aren't missing much, she's not exactly a warm and cuddly kind of person. I don't even really want her here for the Holiday but she is insisting that she wants to be with family and going on about how she's changed." Edward rolled his eyes at the thought. I was now insanely curious what the situation was but he didn't seem to want to elaborate on it.

"Edward, she's family, let her visit and stay, we will work it all out." I offered him a sincere smile, family was important after all.

"We'll see." And he closed the cover on his computer looking up at me with wide eyes. "How's the head?"

"Ah, I've had worse!" I teased him.

"Huh?" his head cocked to the side like a dog examining a stranger.

"What?" I questioned

"Nothing Love, its just you haven't joked much these past few months, you seem, I don't know, different today." Gulp, how did he know?

I gave a fake smile now; nervously I replied to his assumption "Must be the flu."

"mmm, must." Was all he said, he still stared at me questioningly. I had to change the subject.

"Can I get you something to eat, how about seeing as we are both sick I make some soup and we can watch a movie in the den?"

He thought about for a few moments before he finally agreed; he was just going to shower and dress first and then come down stairs to meet me. The morning had evaporated through the illness and I was famished, with all I had eaten lately I was surprised I hadn't gained forty pounds already.

I trudged down the stairs and started searching the pantry for soup, I would have to go to the grocery store soon, we were getting seriously low on comfort foods and if I was preparing to have a heartfelt conversation with Edward at some point in the near future, I may need a case of pop tarts to ease my sorrows if it doesn't go well.

I was wondering how I should go about this monumental conversation I was planning, do I invite him out for a nice dinner or should I spring it on him when we are here with no where to run and hide? I think I am definitely going to need Alice's help and sage advice for this, at this moment in time, she probably knows Edward better than I do.

The soup was warming on the stove and Edward was still upstairs showering, I decided to give Alice a quick call, I was a little shocked that she hadn't called to check on me every five minute through the night like she had threatened. There was no answer at her apartment so I tried her Cell.

"Hi, you've reached Alice, you know what to do… beep" darn, her voice mail.

"Hey Alice, its Bella, I need your advice on something but, oh I hear Edward coming, you wanna meet for lunch tomorrow just the two of us?" I hung up the phone and put it back on the charger, I didn't want Edward to worry or assume I was hiding things from him but I didn't want to explain my need for a girl's day quite yet.

Edward appeared at the bottom of the steps in to my surprise, a pair of comfy looking sweats, I was right; he did look stunning in even the simplest of clothes. "Go pick a movie, I will be right in."

"OK, hey, nice flowers." He nudged his head in their direction before turning down the hall and disappearing into the den.

"Thank-you." I shouted after him, oops, I had forgotten to thank him for the flowers and he was being so nonchalant about it too. I felt guilty again and decided I had better make some grilled cheese sandwiches to go along with the soup to suck up a little for my slip up.

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Please review, as I said above there are times when I get stuck or frustrated and a review will pop up giving me the encouragement I need and the most desperate moment. You guys are the best and this is all for you!


	15. Lions and Tigers

A/N Sorry it's been a few days, baby is teething and there have been many sleepless nights so I haven't been feeling very motivated. The good news however is that the next chapter is already started and well under way I do hope to have it out in the next day!

Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, this twisted little story however, is all me!

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**Lions and Tigers**

"Hey, nice flowers." I turned and waked down the hallway towards the den all the time wondering why Alice would send Bella flowers. This would explain the puffy redness that now burned my face, but didn't Alice know that I was allergic to flowers? I shrugged off the thought; they seemed to have perked Bella up a bit so I can suffer through a few days of allergies and blame it on the Flu if I have to.

I was feeling better over all though, last night I had the best sleep, I even dreamed that Bella was back to her old self and that she loved me once again only to wake up alone in the guest room to face my cold hard reality.

I could still hear Bella in the kitchen cooking, she was searching the cupboards for something, I thought about offering to help but the thought of being next to the flowers, I would probably sneeze and blow my cover.

Still reeling at the thought of Rosalie's impending visit I was sitting on the sofa with my head in my hands trying to figure out a way to politely tell my only family that she isn't exactly welcome, it isn't that I don't believe people can change, just not her. She has to be the most selfish person I have ever met and the only time she ever comes looking for "family time" is when she needs me to bail her out of trouble for some idiotic thing that she's done. I have enough trouble without having to deal with hers right now.

There were so many thoughts swirling through my mind before Bella started acting strange today, but there is just something different about her, maybe this is a mistake letting my guard down again. Things didn't exactly go too well last time we sat down to watch a movie together, well I didn't exactly mind the making out part but why can't I wrap my head around the concept that maybe, just maybe she loves me back, but do I want her to love me, if it isn't all of her that is doing the loving?

Bella walked into the room just then carrying a tray laden with soup and sandwiches, she had overdone it again and here I am with allergies faking the flu, yeah you are a real man buddy. She took the middle seat on the sofa again; her thigh rubbed against mine as she sat crossed legged taking a bowl of soup into her hands cradling it against her chest. Lustful thoughts burned my mind as the hot bowl pressed against her ever expanding bust-line. I had to shake my head, thoughts like this weren't helping. I've been fighting for weeks to avoid physical contact but when I came home the other night and she was in the kitchen, her neck, tomato sauce, ugh, why did she have to be so tempting.

"Lunch is getting cold Edward." Bella looked at me with furrowed brows. How long had I been thinking in my own little world?

"Oh sorry," I took the bowl up and had a few spoonfuls, how could she make soup from a can taste so good, if I were to try I'm sure it would be a disaster. I reached down and grabbed one of the grilled cheese sandwiches that Bella was famous for; she hadn't made these for us in months, not since before the….. Why do I do this to myself? I am without a doubt my own worst enemy.

I thought that when my lawyer phoned telling me that the first guy from the alley had died that I would feel some relief, can you imagine if I wouldn't have rushed to the plea what I would be facing for charges now? I did feel relieved at first but then I got to thinking, the other one has got to be out there somewhere and now he's probably pissed that his friend is dead. I will find him though and when I do he will pay even if it's the last thing I do.

I have the whole scene played out in my mind and his torture will be slow and painful for what he's done. If only I had a way of finding him now. Charlie's efforts have come up blank; through all his computer searches nothing turned up on the other one, no known accomplices and that pig couldn't even wake up once in the hospital to confess or give us any help.

Emmett and I have been working on the plan, as soon as Bella is well enough that I can leave her alone for a weekend, we are going hunting only this time if we find him we won't get caught. There won't be any police around to break up this fight.

"Hello, space cadet?" Bella beckoned me again waving her hands in front of my blank face.

"What? Oh sorry love, must be the cold medicine, I'm sort of dopey." I hate lying to her, she has done nothing wrong in this whole situation but I can't relax, not knowing that he is out there still, what if he finds Bella again, what if there are other Bella's out there? He needs to be stopped!

"Maybe you should go and lay back down then." She looked at me questioningly; I don't think she's buying this, time for a little acting.

"No Love, I'll be OK, what are we watching again?" She laughed at me, apparently I was supposed to pick something and she's been staring at me the whole time. I got up and selected one of her favorites from the shelf; The Princess Bride.

"Can we watch something else? I watched that already this week." She asked with a little pout. Her bottom lip jutting out slightly making me want to walk over to her and nip at it. Not helping Edward, not helping!

Lets see, what can I pick that won't get my mind side tracked?

I tossed S.W.A.T. into the DVD player; there isn't much romance in that one I should be able to keep myself under control.

Bella eyed my choice carefully but she didn't protest; she never would. I took the seat next to her but tried to squish into the side of the sofa to give a little buffer space between us, she responded to my move by sliding closer to me. This wasn't good, she obviously wants contact but I just can't give her what she wants, even if it is what I need, not yet at least.

I could feel the warmth of her body next to mine even through all the thick layers of clothing, I ached to touch her, to sweep her in to my arms and never let her go. Why do these lustful demons keep torturing me?

The credits were now through and the opening scenes playing, Bella was intently watching Colin Ferrell jogging down the beach; I couldn't take my eyes off of her as she watched his muscles bouncing on the screen. Did she just lick her lips?

I grabbed one of the small decorative pillows from the back of the sofa and playfully tapped her on the head with it.

"What was that for?" She looked like a kid who was just caught reaching for the cookie jar.

"You were totally drooling over that guy!" I teased her.

Her face now beat red, "I was not!" Her jaw dropped open at my accusation. "I um, I mean, he's…"

I burst out laughing and had to hold my stomach to contain the roars threatening to erupt from me. "Its OK, I mean I guess he's attractive, if that whole muscle bound idiot thing is your type."

She scowled at me; "Well I guess he's got something going on but he's no Edward Masen!" she winked at me.

Did she seriously just wink at me? Too much Bella, too much, I can't do this. "You know what, I don't think I am feeling that well, maybe I will go lay down for a while." I got up and left the room catching a glimpse of her as I rounded the corner; she looked a little shocked and hurt.

I hate seeing her like that and especially knowing that I was the cause of her pain but I just feel too much when I see her flirting like that, how she looks at me, I love her, nothing has changed for me if anything I love her more and more with each passing day, I just can't let her love me until she remembers why. All those years we spent building this life together and now I feel like I am the only one living in it.

Sitting on the bed I felt foolish for running away from my wife, I was actually hiding from her now. This is seriously twisted; I was without a doubt, acting like a child. I remembered when I was really young back home in Chicago Rosalie and I would play hide and seek whenever they came to visit; when we were little she was always taller than me and pushed me around, I used to suggest hide and seek just so I could get away from her like she was some bully taunting me on the playground. I did get revenge when I finally hit a growth spurt and began to quickly tower over her though, she never pushed me around after that.

My anger suddenly shifted again and I started throwing all of my blame onto Rose now, her impending visit was setting me on edge, I hated being reminded of my childhood, my weaknesses; it was too painful.

Memories starting flooding into my mind like someone removed a dam, I was sixteen when my Mom died and then shortly after my Dad left me too; I was sent to stay with Rose and her parents in their over the top New York mansion, If our mother's didn't look exactly alike you never would have known they were sisters, I hated being there. My Mom didn't care for showing off, she was happy at home in the evenings sitting by the fire playing the piano with me; we would spend hours each night laughing and playing, she was my teacher, my friend.

I was devastated after she died, the music had left me and I never wanted to see another piano and when I was sent to live with my only remaining family I started to hate music, I retreated into a bad place being around people like that, it was so cold and un loving. As soon as I turned eighteen I was out of there, I hated the pretense of trying to keep up appearances for society's sake, that wasn't who I wanted to be.

There was a quiet knock on the door and Bella slowly poked her head around the corner as she opened it. I looked up at her, wearing remorse across my face.

"You're awake." It wasn't as much a question as it was a statement.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep." I lied, I never even tried.

"Got a minute, I think we need to talk." I gulped at her question, I don't know if we are ready for a heart to heart conversation yet, I had too much on my mind right now, I hated remembering the past that were my teen years.

We sat for a while in uncomfortable silence until Bella finally spoke. "Look Edward, I know we are both feeling things that are confusing right now." She paused to breathe "Let's just take it slow and see what happens. Edward I am here, I am still Bella, I may not remember our past but I want our future. I am worried about you."

I didn't know how to respond to her, what was she trying to say? I sat there staring at her beautiful deep eyes, they were seeing through the entire pretense I've been trying so hard to hide behind, it was like she was seeing into my soul. How does she do that?

"I'll be fine Bella, I am still adjusting to the whole situation, and this isn't exactly easy."

"I know it isn't easy Edward, this isn't exactly a normal situation. I just, over these past few months; living here with you, being with you all the time, I feel so close to you yet I also feel like I barely know you."

"I'm sorry Bella."

"Ugh, Edward Sorry? That's all you ever say to me anymore, Sorry! Please! Stop feeling sorry for me. That isn't what I want, not from you!" She rose of the bed and left the room in a huff. Is this another one of her mood swings or is she really mad at me?

Something definitely has changed with Bella, what exactly does she want from me? I could pull my hair out this is so frustrating.

Needing to calm down a bit I quickly showered and changed my clothes; I don't think the two of us being near each other is a good idea right now, its just going to add fuel to the fire and this growing tension is bound to snap, I have to get out of here until I can get this all straight in my head.

I was down the elevator and in the car before I really knew what I was doing. The engine purred to life and I pulled out of the underground heading north. I could just drive for a few hours until I sort things out, but how much of a coward am I? I left Bella all alone and angry.

Feeling guilty but knowing I wasn't the best one to help Bella sort this out I called Alice and told her what happened and after five minute of being told how clueless I am but never telling my why she finally agreed to head over and keep Bella company, she just had to finish up at work first. What does she mean by clueless?

There were times that I would love the daily distraction of a nine to five job but I didn't choose this life, I wasn't exactly complaining about the perks of it, I am very grateful for everything I have but there are some days I would give anything to be able to lose myself into another world full of someone else's distractions.

I drove for a while without a destination in mind, whenever I was upset it was like someone else took over and the car lead me where I really wanted or needed to go, this was my true sanctuary. I hit the I-5 and just drove, it wasn't long until I sat in the parking lot for the Zoo, what made me come here I will never know. I got out of the car and paid the admission, if nothing else this would be a distraction.

I wandered around looking at the animals in their prisons; their enclosures were made to look close to their natural habitats but once they are caged are they really still animals or pets?

I stood there for the longest time watching a small pride of Lions, the proud male lay stretched out on his back sunning himself atop a rocky platform in the rare Late October sun, the air was crisp but he was determined to get every drop of the golden gift. He was surrounded by three lanky females, in the wild he would be the protector of his family and the women the hunters. There was something about the expression on his face now though; he had a melancholy look about him like he had been emasculated and had accepted this fate too easily.

Near the Lion enclosure was a solitary Tiger, he was alone in his artificial territory pacing back and forth along the fenced wall, the rumble from deep in his chest grew louder as our eyes met. He was a hunter; the women didn't feed this boy. His muscles were swollen and pumping with blood, testosterone lay heavy on the air.

The Tiger paused and our eyes locked head on, the only distance between us marred with aluminum fencing; he was still wild; on edge and looking for a fight with anyone that dared cross him. He hadn't given in to the surroundings like the other animals, he was a fighter. A growl erupted from his chest as I approached for a closer look, even though there was a barrier between us, he was ready to pounce. There was nothing tame about this big cat. I didn't fear the giant though, one of natures greatest predators instead I felt a kinship with his readiness to strike.

I took a seat on a bench between the two enclosures and kept looking back and forth between the two. The submissive Lion who had given up and accepted the life he's been given seemed happy enough, he was surrounded by strong women. The Tiger though, still wild and raw was on edge, uneasy in his surroundings and his own skin, seemed ready to pounce on anyone that came too close but he sat alone and un-loved.

I could see which cat I had become. I had always thought myself a Lion, a proud family type animal but I was in fact now that Tiger, struggling and fighting against the life that is in front of me; angry, vengeful and ready to strike.

The two extremes in front of me would have brought me to my knees if I weren't already sitting. Had I been this blind to what I had become? Bella isn't the one who has changed, I am, and I am the one who is doing this to us. I have been driving a wedge further and further between us out of fear and anger. I know now that we are never going to heal and move on until I am able to let go of some of my anger. I've wasted too much time already in my self pity. Bella is wrong; she isn't the one I've been feeling sorry for.

Not quite ready to go home and face reality quite yet I wandered around the rest of the Zoo and my realization was confirmed over and over again in the faced of different animals. I really have become an animal, feral and selfish.

This place was good for me and I could clearly see this will be a favorite place to bring our child in years to come; I can almost see it now, Bella pushing an empty stroller while our toddler sits on my shoulders pointing excitedly at all the animals. I want that life. I want Bella and if this is who and what she is now then I am jut going to have to accept that. It is plainly obvious that she cares for me and apparently is even attracted to me. She will love me again I know that and until then I am not going to let her go.

I could easily see now what my segregation was doing to both of us, Bella's minor slap in the face comment showed me that; I assumed I was helping the situation by not rushing her but now she thinks I pity her.

I was just getting ready to climb back into the car when I noticed a vehicle parked next to me, an older blue mini van with stickers plastered over all the windows screamed 'a happy family drives me.' There was a man and woman struggling to wrangle their kids into their car seats as they kept attempting to escape and return to the animals. I got quiet satisfaction out of this image; that will be me in a few years time, minus the stickers of course.

Driving back down the highway; my blood pressure back at its normal steady level, I felt assured and confident. Now I just have to make this up to my wife that thinks I pity her when in fact I've been feeling sorry for myself all along. Does Hallmark make a card for that? 'Sorry you think I pity you love, it's not you, really I've been feeling sorry for myself but it's nothing personal but have a nice day…' there probably isn't much of a market for that I guess.

I do want to get her something, a little token of my remorse but Bella never had reacted well to gifts. A devious thought came to mind that that if she would throw a fit if I bought HER a gift, surely though she couldn't deny our child a gift. I smiled an evil grin at finally figuring out a way to spoil my wife and surely she can't protest this.

Wandering aimlessly up and down the aisles of the baby boutique I was lost, there were so many things that a baby needed, Crib, bassinette, change tables, none of these were really personal though and I am quite sure these are things that Bella is going to want to pick out, isn't decorating a nursery one of those things that a girl dreams about and has planned since childhood? This wasn't the right track that I was on. I cruised down the toy aisle, I had already bought one teddy bear and without knowing if we are having a little boy or girl I can't really choose the perfect one. That's when the perfect gift came to mind, I knew exactly what I was going to get Bella and there it sat jumping off the shelf at me.

I really do need to make it up to her for how I have been acting; I can't be the one holding us back any more if we are ever going to move on. Bad guy out there still or not, we can't keep living our lives in this vicious cycle of fear and self hatred. I want to make this special, a fresh start and I have just the plan.

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Please Review... It is the lifeblood of this story and the encouragement I need to keep going after a long sleepless night with a screaming baby.


	16. Change of Heart

**Twilight, Edward and Bella belong to Stephenie Meyer, this story however is all mine. Thanks for reading.**

**Please see note at the bottom of chapter.**

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**Change of heart**

I am so angry right now, why does he have to hate himself so much? If I hear him tell me that he's sorry one more time I am seriously going to strangle him. He needs to move on and put this all behind him if we are ever going to move forward.

Feeling a little embarrassed for storming out of the room like a five year old but not quite ready to face Edward and admit that maybe I over reacted a bit, I decided to take another bath. I really was starting to live in this tub lately; now I know why some women choose to do water births; there is something about the swirling warm water around you that is very calming, I may have to look in to that. The whole idea of birth is terrifying, just the thought of someone passing out of me makes my skin crawl; I know this is what the body is meant to do but that doesn't mean I am looking forward to it.

I still can't help but feel like there is a part of this pregnancy that is missing, I know the circumstances definitely weren't typical in my finding out or Edwards finding out but I am feeling like we missed out on some monumental life altering experience. I can't help facing the facts; I remember meeting Edward 5 years ago in a restaurant, he was gorgeous and smooth and bold and then I woke up in a hospital and I am married to him and pregnant. I missed out on all the joys of making the baby and then shouldn't we have found out together or I could have planned a special way to tell him. I still can't help but feel like I owe him that.

The water was starting to cool and I really should get out and be an adult, I _should_ just sit down and tell Edward how I feel get this over with once and for all. I was climbing out of the tub when I heard the phone ring, assuming Edward would grab it I took my time getting out but the ringing didn't stop, had he gone out without telling me?

By the time I got my robe on I had just missed the last ring before they started leaving a message. It was Alice calling to tell me that she was coming over to take me out to dinner; I guess she hadn't heard my earlier message about lunch tomorrow.

The thought of a girl's night out was promising; I slipped into a cute empire waist maternity dress that made my belly look bigger than it was. I was even starting to like the attention I got when people noticed that I was pregnant, for the first time in my life I felt sexy; there was a purpose now to every curve of my body.

Alice arrived just as I finished getting ready, my hair was pulled back into a wavy ponytail that swayed with each step I took down the stairs to greet her; she was still dressed in her work closed and had obviously come straight here.

"So… Edward called…" Alice started on me, she was diving right in, she never had been one for beating around the bush, "You two are both clueless you know."

I had been beginning so suspect as much but my stomach let out a loud rumble reminding me that perhaps conversation about my stupidity would best be saved for over dinner, we both laughed.

"Alright, let's feed that little monster and then I will tell you what an idiot you are being!" She was obviously enjoying this, if there was one thing Alice loved to do it was to plan, whether it be a party or your life, she would set things in motion.

I placed my hand on my belly and frowned at her, "Monster?" My lower lip forming a pout at her choice of words.

"Sorry Bella, you know I don't mean that!" She patted the hand on my belly.

"Oh, no Alice, not you too! New Rule! No one is ever allowed to say that word to me again; I've heard it way too much lately." I said adamantly.

"What, Monster?" She looked puzzled.

"No, SORRY!" I snapped back at her.

"Oh, this must be about Edward!" She grinned an evil little smirk; surely she knew I could never be mad at her. "Alright girl, let's take you and this new attitude of yours out for dinner, YOU are driving, you've been hiding in here long enough and it's time you get back out there and start living again."

Sweat started to drip down the back of my neck as we climbed into my shiny silver Lexus. I paused and looked over the interior, it was intimidating; there were buttons everywhere and I felt like I would need a flow chart if I was ever going to learn what they all did.

The key slipped easily into the ignition and the almost silent engine hummed to life, the soft plush leather seats started to warm at the push of one of Alice's buttons, that part I could easy get used to.

"This is quite the car isn't it?" I eyed Alice with an intimidated look.

"you picked it!" She shook her head at me.

"I, I did?" Genuine shock spread across my face.

Alice went on to explain that I had in fact kept my old car all these years until it finally died six months ago. I felt peace at knowing I hadn't changed as much as I thought I had. Apparently Edward had insisted that if we were going to start a family that we would need a family vehicle so he bought it as an early birthday gift for me. He had come home with a stack of brochures with a red bow on top of them and told me to 'pick one,' so very Edward!

The thought of a bow brought an uncomfortable feeling to my gut and an even more embarrassing question to mind, "Um Alice, when is Edward's birthday?" I couldn't believe that I didn't even know my own husband's birthday.

Alice coughed, "Actually hun, its tomorrow." She gave me one of those shoulder shrugs that told me she wanted to tell me but wasn't allowed.

"T…t…tomorrow?" I managed to stutter out, the shock wore off quickly and I felt a warm peace like something was trying to tell me that I already knew this little fact on a deeper level.

"He asked us not to say anything to you, he said he didn't want you to feel pressured into pretending, that it wasn't a big deal." She said this so matter of fact that I knew she was quoting Edward directly.

"New plan Alice; dinner then shopping, we have a dinner party to plan!" Her eyes lit up with my suggestion. I wasn't about to let Edward get away with this and a party may just be the perfect way to show him that I care.

There was so much to do and so little time to get it organized, I was suddenly grateful for our little spat tonight and Alice coming to my rescue.

It didn't take long to reach our favorite little Tapa bar for dinner; it was the perfect place for a girl's night out. We sat and laughed as we glanced over the menu and each ordered a few appetizers that we would share. I longed for a nice glass of wine to go along with it but I couldn't do that to my little baby.

Over dinner the conversation never made its way back to my apparent cluelessness instead all thoughts were focused on tomorrow's event. With only a day to plan and organize we were going to need all hands on deck. Alice assured me that Edward would eventually be OK with the idea once the initial shock wore off.

I wasn't completely ready to be surrounded by a room full of people that I may or may not remember so we decided to keep the guest list small, Edward wasn't expecting anything so this would be a total surprise.

We weren't planning anything too extravagant, just some close friends and good food. The only problem I could foresee was keeping Edward out of our place long enough to get everything ready so Alice suggested that we send the boys out for a 'play date' she joked. I had no idea what would keep Edward occupied for a whole day especially right after our little spat. I knew he was going to want to talk as soon as we were alone but I have to do this for him, he needs this.

Alice came up with the brilliant idea of calling Emmett, I hadn't met him yet, at least not that I remembered but nothing came to mind with I tried to picture this giant teddy bear in Alice's descriptions.

"So with the boys gone for the day: that leaves the food, entertainment and gifts." I blurted out in between bites of creamy Tiramisu. I still didn't have a clue what to get Edward, I knew he wasn't expecting anything and clearly there isn't anything that he really needs.

Alice suggested that we call a caterer in to do the cooking but I wanted to do it myself, the kitchen was one of the few rooms that I always felt comfortable in, now I just had to decide what I was going to make.

We headed out shopping after dinner, it was getting dark out now and time was running short for shopping, the stores would soon be closing. We were walking through the aisles of a preppy boutique when Alice's cell phone rang; Jasper and Emmett were kidnapping Edward bright and early for a day of manly activities that he assured us was better if we didn't know the details for what they had planned. He did promise that they would bring him back in one piece and that no one would get arrested. I didn't exactly find that funny.

Alice helped me find the perfect dress for dinner; it was a royal blue floor length satin gown that sat just off my shoulders and flowed around my bump nicely, I felt beautiful in it even if it was a little fancy for a dinner at home. Of course Alice found herself an equally stunning dress and before we knew it the store was closing and I still didn't have a gift for Edward.

We pulled back into the underground parking around ten, Edwards car sat patiently next to mine and I felt panicked. I somehow had to put off any further arguing and not blow the cover for tomorrow; I was a terrible actress, too easy to read.

I left Alice in the lobby and she headed to her car parked out front. The elevator ride up felt like an eternity for such a short distance, there was a pit growing larger and larger in my stomach as each floor illuminated.

My key slid into the lock and I was instantly frustrated at how easily a lock could open once you had the right key. The door opened and I found Edward sitting in the kitchen at the table, he reminded me of my father for a moment; how he used to pace back and forth if I was one minute late getting home past curfew but the moment I walked in the door he would pretend as if he hadn't been waiting and just happened to be standing there.

"Honey I'm home." I said playfully.

He smiled up at me, the stress melting off his face instantly "Welcome home, did you have a nice night?"

"I did, Alice and I had dinner and went shopping." I waved my bag around slightly showing off my purchase but not letting him see what was inside.

"Bella listen, I'm sorr…" I raised my hand interrupting him.

"Edward, let's not do this now, I've had a long emotional day, maybe we should both sleep on things and talk tomorrow." I suggested knowing all too well what plans tomorrow held.

"Oh!" he looked shocked that I didn't want to talk about it. "Actually Jasper called and is planning some paintball war with some buddy's, I was invited but I can call him and cancel, it's no big deal." He smiled tenderly.

"No, no, go hang out with the guys, you look like you need a little fun, how about you go play soldier and when you come home I will make us a nice quiet dinner and we can talk then?" I was praying that he was buying my innocent expression.

"Are you sure Bells?" He raised one eyebrow as he asked, damn that was sexy.

"Yep" gulp, "Go have fun with the boys, WE will be here when you get home." I patted my belly twice and smiled at him slyly.

He rose from his chair and put his glass in the sink then shocked my by wrapping his arms around me from behind placing his hands palm down on my belly. I gasped at his bold gesture but my body responded naturally and molded in to his, my neck relaxed and my head rested against his shoulder. I could feel his warm breath as smelled my hair and let out a quiet moan

I was shocked at the closeness he was offering, my body temperature started to rise and I turned my head slightly, my cheek now resting against his neck; I wanted so badly to make the rest of the turn and kiss his warm neck, I knew this closeness must be hard for him but I felt like I was fighting a battle with my raging hormones and I didn't know how much longer I was going to be able to control myself being this close to him. I wondered what brought about this sudden need for contact, perhaps I should yell at him more often.

Peering up into his deep emerald eyes I saw answers to unasked questions; I saw reflections of many happy years to come in those twin seas of green.

My breathing hitched as his arms pulled me into a tight hug locking themselves around my back, my face pressed tightly against his muscular chest in a tight embrace. No words were spoken, I didn't need to hear his thoughts to know what this meant, his body was telling me everything I needed to know.

We stood there, our arms locked around each other letting our stresses and angst melt to the floor with this one tender moment; so platonically passionate, my soul was ablaze with lust and comfort. Our body heats both rising as our breathing picked up pace mirroring each others rhythm. My body would instinctively respond to his slightest of movements like I was now a part of him. For the first time in three months, right here in Edward's arms I felt like I was finally home.

The hug lasted for minutes but was not nearly long enough; eternity in his arms would never be enough time. He pulled back first as his lips opened to speak but words eluded him, he tried to vocalize but was at a loss for words as much as I was.

Sound finally betrayed the silence from his lips and I stopped him before he could speak. I leaned up on my tip toes and placed a small tender kiss on his still parted lips before whispering one simple word with promise. "Tomorrow."

I turned and walked up the stairs leaving a dumbfounded Edward leaning against the counter with his finger placed softly on his lip.

Tomorrow held so much promise now, I knew what my gift to Edward would be now, the one thing he wanted and needed and the gift that only I could give him.

I woke to a bright and cheery morning, the fall sun was shining through the parted curtains and I stretched out in the big bed feeling so small in the sea of white blankets but I knew that it wouldn't be long until this bed would once again hold two. I rolled onto my side and ran my hands over the pillows that would soon once again be Edward's. I could still faintly smell the hint of his cologne as I pulled the pillow in to a hug and let out a small sigh wishing it was him that I was holding.

There wasn't time to waste today; I had a lot to get done and very little time. I quickly showered and dressed, I didn't bother with make-up, I'd worry about appearances tonight, and this had to be special.

I was just about to head down the stairs when I noticed a small white box on the railing, there wasn't a note or tag any where to be found. I opened the plain little package to find a silver cell phone flashing "1 new text message." Instinctively I looked around the room but was alone as I expected. Surely Edward had left this here for me, what was he up to? I pressed the button to view the message.

_Is it tomorrow yet? Edward._

I quickly replied to his message_, "nope not yet!" _I added one of those sideways winks and pressed send.

Tossing the phone in my pocket I headed downstairs to a quick breakfast before grabbing my purse and keys and heading out the door. I was running late and Alice was waiting for me when I arrived at the market.

I still didn't know what I was going to make for dinner, not really knowing Edward's tastes. We walked up and down the aisles hoping for inspiration while discussing different options. I felt the phone vibrate once again in my pocket, I glanced at it while Alice's back was turned, 1 new text.

_I can't wait to see you tonight Love._

I typed in my response, "_Me to! What do you want for dinner?" _I might as well get his opinion on the matter; after all it is his Birthday even if I am not supposed to know about it.

A minute passed before I had a reply.

_Anything you make Love will be heaven._

I showed Alice his reply and she chortled a response about men always being so helpful when it comes to decisions.

If Edward wasn't going to tell me what he wanted I was going to make a big roast, it was actually a fairly easy meal to do and it always looks like way more work than it actually is.

I sent Alice off to select a nice Port to go with the meal, I was looking over the different vegetables when a man next to me brushed against my belly as he reached for a potato in front of me.

"Oh sorry Miss." He spoke with a gruff greasy voice.

"It's Ok, here" I passed him the potato he had been reaching for, as he took it from me his eyes bounced between my face and my belly a few times. I was starting to get an uneasy feeling about him when he spoke again.

"Boy or girl?" What a thing to ask a stranger I thought.

I didn't want to be rude but at the same time I didn't feel like I really owed this stranger a polite response. "Don't know yet." I wasn't offering him any more than that and I turned facing my shopping cart and started to walk away when he spoke one final sentence to me.

"I think it's a girl and she will be a pretty little flower just like her Momma." I stopped, frozen in time for a moment; there was something about his phrasing that set me on edge, like I was supposed to know him. I turned to snap back at him but I was alone with the produce and the greasy offensive man was no where to be found. Strange!

My skin felt like it was crawling, I felt dirty and uneasy but not quite sure why. My saving Grace came in the form of a tiny vibration from my pocket once more.

_I miss you! This guy stuff is highly over-rated; Emmett shot me in the Ass with a paintball!_

I chuckled and typed in a quick retort_._

_Aren't they playing nice? Do you need me to come protect you?_

I was blushing at my sudden boldness when his reply came in.

_Hmm, tempting, I think I'd much rather be playing with you out here in these woods._

My sinister thoughts were swirling with things I would like to be doing to Edward out alone in those woods. Alice ripped the phone out of my hands and read the message before rolling her eyes.

"Looks like our boy Eddie, FINALLY knows what he wants for dinner!" She laughed and winked at me.

I was blushing from head to toe at Alice's insinuation, there was nothing I would enjoy more than to be in Edward's arms but surely we weren't ready for that!

"Alice, get your mind out of the gutter!" I nudged her playfully as I stole the phone back from her, I had to change the tone of the conversation, this wasn't exactly a standing in the produce section kind of a conversation. I quickly typed in a reply.

_Just come back in one piece Rambo and do me a favor and shoot Emmett for me, twice, once in each cheek!_

I could almost see the image of a group of grown men in cammo running around the woods like a group of five year olds playing cops and robbers.

Our shopping cart was finally full and as we were loading our purchases in to the back of my car when my pocket vibrated once again.

_Done! I don't think he will be sitting right for a while! Any more requests?_

_Just have fun; I will see you tonight for dinner._

I laughed at the image playing out in my mind now and I had the perfect idea for a joke. I may not remember this Emmett guy but I have a feeling that I am going to like him.

Alice had to go across town to a bakery that she insisted had the perfect cake to go along with dinner and figuring I could manage the rest of my own we split up and would meet again tonight. I still had a few stops to make before heading home.

Jasper had promised that he would drop Edward off at five and then everyone would return at six for the surprise dinner. I had just enough time to stop and pick up my gift for Edward before I had to have dinner in the oven.

There wasn't any decorating to do; we didn't want to blow the cover when Edward got home to clean up so I would have to work quickly while he showered.

I arrived home and had everything neatly prepared and stashed away with still an hour to spare before I had to start putting on my little show before our friends were due to arrive. I put the finishing touches on my little gift and wrapped it in tidy silver paper before stashing it for later.

Making sure that every little detail was perfect before slipping into my favorite nice warm tub, it didn't take long before I was drifting off into my keyed prison; I could hear the baby screaming from behind the black leather door, Edward was trying to soothe the baby with a soft melody but the crying was growing louder this time and the playing stopped. I could hear Edward trying to comfort the child in a gentle hushed voice, he kept repeating over and over again "Mommy is coming, she just needs to remember, she will be here soon." I shot out of the tub, water splashing all around me. So the crying child I've been hearing in my dreams is OUR baby? I want nothing more than to be able to unlock that door and hold them both in my arms. I will find this key, I have to!

The alarm that I set started beeping informing me that I only had twenty minutes until Edward was due back. I dried myself off only doing up my hair and make-up; I would slip into the dress once Edward was safely tucked away in the shower and out of sight.

The roast was coming along nicely and I was just basting it when the door opened and a very muddy and playful looking Edward walked in. I took one look at him and had to laugh, he looked like a little kid who had been out jumping in mud puddles, I just shook my head as a huge smile spread across his face that quickly turned into a devilishly crooked grin.

"Honey, I'm home!" He chimed before he started chasing me around the kitchen with his arms stretched out. He caught me just as I was trying to side step in evasion wrapping his arms around me. I was very thankful I had decided not to put my dress on; my jogging suit was covered in mud now too!

"Ugh, Edward you stink!" I laughed and pushed him away. "You! Upstairs, shower!" I pointed to the stairs and gave him my best maternal glare.

He laughed as he made his way up the stairs muttering something about girls and paying for mud treatments at the spa.

The clock was ticking now; I only had an hour before people would be arriving. I quickly checked on the food again before slipping upstairs to slide into my dress. The blue satin slid over me and hugged my body perfectly, I glanced in the mirror but felt like there was something missing from the outfit when I remembered having seen a necklace in a jewelry box that may work perfectly with this. I fastened the long strand of shiny white pearls around my neck.

The pearls felt cool at first against my skin but quickly warmed with my body heat like they were blushing at some memory. I noticed a strange key in the box next to where the necklace sat; it was an old skeleton key with a ribbon tied around it, the satin bow felt familiar to me but I couldn't quite place where I had seen it before.

I heard the water turn off from Edwards shower down the hall so I quickly ducked down the stairs and turned on the soft piano and guitar CD that I had taken from the Volvo earlier. I poured a glass of wine for Edward and a glass of Sparkling Cider for myself, I would love to join him in a drink to celebrate with him but it is a small price to pay for a healthy child.

Edward soon appeared at the bottom of the stairs taking my breath away, he was dressed all in black with the top two buttons of his shirt left open. He paused and surveyed the scene before unleashing his wicked grin on me and making his way over to where I sat. He slid down onto the seat next to me and turned his body so that he was facing me head on. "This is a pleasant surprise" he said as he took a sip of the wine I handed him, "You look beautiful." He leaned in and placed a tender kiss on my cheek.

"You don't look so bad yourself!" I winked at him testing the air, last time I flirted with him he flew out of the room and locked himself up hiding from me like a child.

There was a moment of nervous tension in the air but it was quickly eased as Edward reached down taking my hand in his. "Is it tomorrow yet?" He raised one eyebrow in question.

"Yes but Edward…" I didn't get to finish my sentence as his lips crashed in to mine, this was not a quiet little kiss like I offered him last night, this was deep and passionate, his hands slid up my arms and pulled my body closer to his as he cupped my cheek in his hands. His soft tender lips moved in time with mine as the kiss deepened and grew more intense, my pulse was racing in tune with his and I was fast melting into Edwards arms, my senses and all reason were lost as I gave in to the pheromones. The kiss ended in one of those drawn out moments where out eyes locked, neither of us wanting to speak first but our lips longing to reconnect.

"Bella, I have to tell you this now, I lo… DING DONG." The door bell interrupting the very words I have been needing to hear.

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**A/N**Sorry to interrupt their moment but I am sure we will all much prefer reading the next part from Edwards POV. As you can see, little bits of Bella's memory is starting to return. So I have 2 questions for you. 1) What do you think Bella's gift for Edward will be? 2) Do you think I need to re-write the description for the story? If so, any suggestions? Please, Please review, it gives the the energy to write and feeds Edwards wounded soul.


	17. Interruptions

**I apologize if you get two story alerts but some people did not get them so I am re-listing the new chapter again to see if that fixes the problem.**

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**The Twilight Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**, I do not own them, they simply came over to play and refused to leave.

A/N Sorry it took me a while to post a new chapter, life has been a little hectic in Mommy-land this past week but the good news is that we have 2 teeth and the world now seems a much better place. This chapter was originally going to be 1 very long one but instead I have split it in to 3 smaller ones so that I can switch POV's... I will post part 2 tomorrow and I promise that a few of the moments you have been waiting for are on their way. Please don't forget to review.

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**Interruptions**

"Is it tomorrow yet?" I asked her apprehensively, I had been aching all day to talk to her. Last night while I was holding her in the kitchen; I had thought that my decision was made, I was going to try my hardest to be her best friend until she was ready for more but then she kissed me and I completely lost all resolve. Her playful little texts all day had my mind running in circles reminiscent of the naughty little messages she used to send me from work, my Little Minx was back.

"Yes, but Edward…" She started to speak but I couldn't give her the chance to finish, I had to know right here and now. I pulled her body in tight next to mine as I pressed my lips against hers. I had intended to give her a gentle comforting kiss to test the waters but the way her body responded to mine instantly, my feral animal side took over, I had to have her and there would be no going back.

Reason and sensibility were struggling to stifle the raging lust that was consuming me and if I didn't end this soon, I was afraid I would lose what little control I had.

I slowly and gently pulled back leaving my hands on her shoulders, our lips merely inches apart. The reflection of my own face in her eyes was comforting, I did not see the Tiger or Lion peering back at me, I was neither melancholy nor enraged, I was struggling to express what I was seeing, this emotion was something I had been trying desperately to block for months: Passion!

Words were flowing from my lips as my newly awakened ardor took over and I all at once felt courage and strength in words that formed so naturally like I said them daily, "Bella, I have to tell you this now, I Lo..." DING DONG! I gasped as the doorbell rang and the moment, along with my courage was both robbed by our very unwelcome intruder.

Bella sprang from the sofa knocking over the wine glasses, she was clearly on edge, and I couldn't help but wonder if I had made a mistake?

"You get the door, I will get this mess." She was already in the kitchen getting towels to clean the rug which would no doubt be stained, just like my attempted proclamation.

Who could it be I wondered? The doorman would only let a very few select people up without calling us and I had just seen most of them. I placed my hand on the lock to release the door and it flung open as a very boisterous Emmett pounced through the entry shouting "Happy Birthday Eddie!"

My temper started to boil at the mention of my least favorite nickname, "What the hell Emmett?" was all I could get out; I was dumb struck as my very large and playful friend threw me into a headlock and dragged me across the room.

"Boys, boys, settle down…" Bella stood in front of us; hands on her hips giving a maternal glare that made us both erupt in laughter.

"Get off me you big oaf!" I pushed Emmett away and looked at Bella, she hadn't come face to face with anyone that we weren't certain she remembered and felt comfortable with yet, and I was trying to assess the situation, she did appear remarkably calm but I still noted startled apprehension in her eyes.

Bella walked over and took my hands in hers before she leaned up onto her tip toes and planted a kiss on my left cheek, "Happy Birthday Edward!" So she did know, but how? Alice, I should have known! The last thing I wanted was for this to happen; I didn't want to force her in to a situation where she would have to pretend for our friend's sake that everything was normal. I hadn't told anyone other than those necessary what had happened to us, I was too afraid to admit it out loud so I just let everyone that wasn't in our tightest inner circle assume her mysterious ailment was pregnancy related.

"Thank-you Love, what are you up to?" She now had a mischievous look flitting across her face and I was growing curious.

"Nothing! Aren't you going to introduce me to your little playmate?" She bit her bottom lip as she asked and I could tell that like me, Emmett was a blank to her as well. I actually felt a pang of relief knowing that I wasn't the only one that she couldn't remember.

"I'm sorry Hun, Bella, meet Emmett, our… Um, my…" This is awkward, how do I introduce my wife to our friend who was best man at our wedding three years ago?

Emmett decided to take the lead, pushing me out of the way with a shoulder check as he burst in front of Bella causing her to jump before he grabbed her up in his arms and threw her in to a huge bear hug. Bella's arms lay limply at her sides; she wasn't sure how to react. I tapped Emmett on the shoulder sensing Bella's apprehension and he took the hint releasing her from his iron grasp. She stood for a moment before raising one eyebrow and smiling. "So you are the one who shot Edward in the Ass?" We all burst out laughing as relief filled the room.

The neighbors could probably hear Emmett's laughter a few floors down, "And I understand I have you to thank for my twin retaliation welts?" He gave her a gentle push on one shoulder in a teasing move. "Wanna see?" Emmett spun around and started unbuttoning his pants as we both shouted "NO!" in unison.

It was great to see her laughing and joking again but I couldn't help but wonder how our conversation would have gone had we not been interrupted. I had been looking forward to a nice quiet dinner with just the two of us, but now that she obviously knows that it's my birthday; I have a sneaking suspicion that my alluring meal was just a ruse.

"Bella, I'm sorry I didn't come and see you sooner, your Husband here is a little protective of you and well... I'm just sorry." Emmett wasn't known for his elocution but the genuine concern on his face as he took Bella's tiny hand in his was touching.

I could tell Bella struggled with the uncomfortable reminder of the past few months; these were things I usually tried to avoid, sheltering her from the pain. "Thanks Emmett and I am sorry I don't remember you." She gave a little half smile, which on her was awkward but endearing.

Emmett of course laughed at this and proclaimed that it was probably a good thing she didn't remember everything about him. I rolled my eyes at some of the memories we shared with our overgrown five year old friend.

"Emmett, I may not remember you but I've already decided that I am going to like you, now will you let me get back to work and go play with Edward while I finish cooking dinner." Bella was trying to shoo us away like stray dogs.

We both laughed at her suddenly bossy tone, this was classic Bella. I decided to play with her a bit having already caught on to what was happening. "Oh, Emmett is staying for dinner? What about our nice quiet night?" I gave her my best attempt at puppy dog eyes.

She instantly tensed at my teasing; perhaps she wasn't quite ready for my playful side yet. "Well, actually" she started but paused for a moment to bite her bottom lip nervously, "He's not the only one joining us, I sort of, um, planned a little dinner party but its just Alice and jasper coming too, I hope you aren't too mad at me." She quipped quickly.

I stood there glaring at her sternly, well attempting to but Emmett gave away my grievous charade by kicking my sore and bruised back side playfully, "Don't pick on sweet little Bella Eddie!"

Enraged I snapped at Emmett, "Don't call me Eddie!" I punched him in the shoulder with a little more force than was playfully necessary.

"Alright boys, that's it, out of my kitchen!" Bella's finger flew through the air and was aiming us down the hallway toward the den, I loved this new found confidence that she was exuding.

"Em, I will be right there, start a game and I'll be there in two… I just want to talk to Bella alone for a minute." I could tell by the look in Emmett's eyes that he wanted to stay and see this; he had been taunting me all day about Bella's texts and threatening to take matters into his own hands if I didn't buck up and be a man as he put it. After a silent conversation of glares and eyebrow raising; he eventually conceded to the den. Finally, victory was mine and now was my chance.

"Alone at last!" I whispered into Bella's ear as she stood washing vegetables in the sink, "I thought he was never going to leave."

"Edward, you aren't mad about my inviting friends over for dinner, are you?" She was still facing the sink and her hands were ripping nervously through the lettuce, mauling it into tiny shreds.

"No, Love, I could never be mad at you. I gave a tiny kiss on her neck just under her ear which elicited a small gasp out of her. "I would like to finish what I started before we were so rudely interrupted," I whispered in my quietest voice.

She didn't respond to me at first and stood for the longest time examining every inch of the leafy greens in her hands, I was starting to feel tense and a knot was growing in my chest, had she misinterpreted my remark? Did she think I was trying to seduce her? Wait, Am I trying to seduce her?

Bella very slowly spun in my arms to face me, her eyes were a cold frightened shade of chestnut, I knew it, I had crossed the line.

"Edward, I... Actually I need to talk to you too, it's just… DING DONG" Ugh not again! Bella was finally about to open up to me and the damn doorbell rings again.

I flew over to the door ripping it open in an angry huff.

Alice and Jasper stood before me looking shocked," Happy Birthday." Alice's offering started off in a cheery tone but ended as more of a question by the second word, the ire was apparent across my face as the guilt soon consumed me. I had to relax and step back, these were our closest friends and I owe them so much more than a rude greeting.

"Thank-you Alice, I'm sorry, please come in. Jasper." I nodded to my friend who had apparently been one of the masterminds behind my distractions today and in on this from the very beginning.

I tried my best to excuse my behavior to our friends, it wasn't right that I acted so gruffly, here they come bearing good tiding and I can't wait for them all to leave so that I can be alone to finish a conversation with my wife that may very well decide our future.

The girls kicked us out to the Den to play games while they put the finishing touches on dinner. The guys were trying their best to keep me occupied with Guitar Hero and Rockband but I kept trying to find any excuse I could to sneak into the kitchen in hopes of luring Bella away to talk. Alice wasn't having it though; she and Bella were up to something as usual.

Bella's behavior was throwing me; I kept seeing glimmers of the old Bella,

She was moving through the kitchen like she owns the place, her body instinctively knowing where each little tool or kitchen gadget belonged, or perhaps she had been memorizing it and I was seeing only what I wanted to see. She seemed so confident in her stature, nothing reminiscent of the recent weeks.

We were all eventually called in to the dining room, the girls had put little place cards on each of our plates, I was escorted to the head of the table with Jasper and Emmett on either of my sides, my wing men in every sense of the word. Alice sat excitedly bouncing next to Jasper as Bella showed Emmett to his seat, I couldn't help but notice a little impish grin fighting to betray her.

I was nervous at how she first adjusted to Emmett years ago and then now as she was struggling to do it again, he can be an overgrown child but his heart is in the right place and I don't think I could have made it through the past few months without him.

Emmett took his seat as the room burst into hilarity, Bella had placed one of those donut pillows on his chair just as he was about to sit. He insisted on sitting on it all through dinner too citing that it was the 'greatest seat ever' but not before offering once again to show us his 'war wounds'.

The conversations through dinner were very carefully guarded so as not to cause any further discomfort for Bella, I tried very hard to keep things fun and casual for her, I didn't want a replay of the awkward moments like before and for a few hours, life was normal; we were laughing and talking surrounded by friends like we had been transported back in time.

Once dinner was finished and the wine was gone the girls quickly scooped the dishes in to the kitchen and my plans to be alone with Bella were once again thwarted. It seemed like ethereal forces were doing all they could to separate us and with each growing moment the words were attempting to force themselves out through my unguarded tongue. I was beginning to feel like the night was never going to end and it had barely begun.

Grateful as I was to have friends who cared for me I was struggling for a polite way to kick them out. The evening was slowly turning into late night and I could see Bella starting to tire. All of this work she went through for my dinner was wearing on her and she looked about ready to drop, now was my chance.

"Guys, I think this little Mommy needs to get to bed soon." I offered as I took the seat next to my wife on the sofa. She slid in closer to me as I wrapped my arm around her, she looked stunning in her satin dress as she sat leaning into me playing with the long strand of pearls around her neck. My heart skipped a few beats as she fidgeted with them placing a few in her mouth, I was only hoping my gasp wasn't audible as I remembered the night I gave those very pearls to her. Visions of our passionate night atop my piano were flooding my eyes and I could smell the musky aroma's of our passion that left a longing in my watering mouth.

Alice and Jasper seemed to take the hint first, they started to gather the few glasses that sat on the coffee table and replace the game controllers but I stopped them and insisted that I would take care of it. Emmett on the other hand was giving me the impression that he would be staying for hours, he seemed to be taking delight in teasing Bella with little quips about how our child would be doomed to clumsiness. He finally did leave and I told Bella that I would see him out and suggested she rest her feet for a few minutes while I took the last of the dishes to the kitchen.

We were finally alone, there would be no more interruptions tonight and I was sure to turn off the ringers on the phone just to ensure our solitude as I made my way back to the Den. I rounded the final corner and there lay Bella across the sofa, stretched out with her hands drawing small circles over her growing bump.

"Thank-you Bella; for everything tonight. You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble though Love, you look exhausted." I sat down on the sofa and lifted her small feet into my lap sliding off her heels to rub her feet.

"Happy Birthday Edward." She yawned out as she spoke.

"I think we should get you to bed Love, we can talk in the morning when you are more awake." It broke my heart to have to postpone this inevitable conversation as once again the world had other plans for us.

"I'm awake, let's talk." The words were now almost a slur coming out of her, I was guessing she would be out cold in a matter of seconds.

"Come on, bedtime sweetheart." I scooped her up into my arms and for once she didn't protest. She wrapped her hands behind my neck and placed her cheek on my collarbone, I could feel her warm breath against the skin on my neck as it sent shivers down my spine.

By the time I reached the top step Bella's body was limp as the first stages of sleep won their battle, she was a rag doll in my arms. I stood in the entrance to our master bedroom and felt another pang of remembrance at the first time I carried her through the door just like this. How our bodies entwined in this very room surrounded by exclamations of pleasure and Love.

I couldn't leave her to sleep in this dress and she hardly seemed capable of undressing herself. It wasn't as if I hadn't seen her naked before but having to undress her in a semi-conscious state was disconcerting. I sat her on the edge of the bed in my lap struggling to balance her as I unzipped the long closure down the back of her dress; her skin was supple and soft as my fingertips gently grazed along her spine causing Bella to emit a quiet sigh. I took pleasure in that sound; it was a small reward knowing that even in her sleepy state she enjoyed my touch.

"Love, I am going to need you to stand up for a moment, can you do that?" She merely mumbled in response to me and I still had to bear most of the weight as I lifted her allowing the dress to slide to the ground with a quiet ruffle of fabric.

She was glorious in her bare essentials, her body rounder and slightly curvier with each passing week was alluring, she grew sexier with each moment and I wanted to caress every inch of her body covering it with kisses. "Edward, it's cold." Bella mumbled out in a sleepy stupor.

I took the silk robe that lay across the foot of the bed and wrapped it around her before I gently lifted her in to our bed. Her arms lingered around my neck before they limply fell to her side. Her peaceful face relaxing into a sleepy smile as she let out a comfortable sigh and nuzzled in under the blankets.

Her sleeping form was angelic and I toyed with the idea of sitting there all night just to watch her sleep. I was just rising off the bed when I felt Bella's hand reach up and grab my hand in return, "Will you stay?" Her words spoken in semi consciousness caused me to freeze with shock.

Surely she is sleeping; is she dreaming or does she want me to stay? I was suddenly regretting not kicking our friends out sooner and continuing on with our conversation. This isn't how I imagined spending the night with her, so many things left unspoken but who am I to deny her request.

Assumptions aside, Bella wanted me to stay, I wasn't sure in what fashion she wanted me, but I gladly lay next to on the plush white bed staying atop the coverings so as not to imply anything. I was careful to leave space between us even though my body was fighting me as if being pulled by a magnetic force to press every inch of my body against hers.

I lay on my back staring up at the ceiling wide awake, the wasps of fabric that canopied the frame danced in the gentle breeze from the heat placing shadows across the walls reminding me of dancing demons around a fire. This room never harbored any bad memories and I am not sure why it felt so haunting now.

Bella started to twist and writhe in her sleep muttering about keys and crying, she was whimpering in her sleep now, in the moonlight I could see sweat dancing across her brow. I shushed tenderly to chase away her bad dreams as I made the final move and pulled her in next to me, her arm falling across my chest now as she let out one last soothing whimper of comfort. Tender dreamless sleep took her from me once again and if I had to stay here like this holding her all night to keep the nightmares away it was a task I would gladly handle for as long as she would have me.

Regrets of words left unspoken were stirring through my mind and I felt as though I would burst if I didn't say them, I tenderly placed a small kiss atop her brow and whispered the words I had been longing for months to say, "I love you."

She didn't respond to my affections in her sleep but I smiled as I spoke the words that I never intended to hold back again. Drowsiness started to overcome me with the relief of words finally spoken and as I finally drifted off to sleep I could have sworn I heard Bella return my gesture.

Please take a moment and review, it gives me the encouragement I need to continue on, it only takes a minute.


	18. Three Little Words

Stephanie Meyer owns all things twilight. These characters however, they own me.

**A/N**. Thank-you for all the wonderful reviews, they are my feeding energy and I could not do this without them.

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**Three Little words**

I was having the best sleep when a bouncing baby woke me out of my reverie with a gentle tapping against my middle; I had been dreaming that Edward had stayed with me through the night and chased away my keyed nightmares before telling me that he loved me. I was fighting my body's urges to move and get comfortable, there was something firm and warm pressed against me and as I gave in to the need shifting on to my back I noticed that it was not a hard lumpy pillow under my neck but an arm, Edward's arm.

Silently I lay there with my eyes still closed, stunned, he had stayed with me. No longer able to fight the necessity of my body's frequent need for night waking I tiptoed in to the washroom to relieve the pressure.

I stood at the foot of the bed taking in the sight before me, in the soft halo of moonlight Edward looked like a sleeping Angel. His black clothing stood in stark contrast against our all white bedding; symbolic of our relationship and its struggles that we were facing. I had always thought that like the image before me, life was black and white, good or bad, easy or hard, but now in the yellowed moonlight even the whitest of whites were varying shades of gray.

Edward had been trying to talk to me all night and I wasn't exactly giving him an easy opportunity. I am so confused with this whole cat and mouse game he has been playing, It seems like he runs either hot or cold and I don't know how much more indecisiveness I can take.

Having read his journals I know his inner most thoughts and the pain and angst that he is battling on an hourly basis, if only he would let me in, I would gladly help him carry the burden.

There were still a few hours left until dawn and I was apprehensive. Am I supposed to crawl back in to bed with him? I want to so desperately, I want to climb in next to him and take him in my arms and never let him go but I know that isn't what he wants.

I gave in to the battle raging in my mind, this was just another shade of gray, we had already spent half the night together, what were a few more hours. The bed jostled slightly as I climbed in and Edward started to stir, his arm raking across the bed looking for me in his semi sleeping state.

"Are you OK?" He mumbled out.

"Shhh, I'm fine, go back to sleep." I cooed as I slipped back under the covers. For once Edward didn't fight me and he quickly returned to his slumber. I still couldn't help but wonder why he was here in the room with me, unless, did I ask him to stay? I vaguely remember that now, I did ask him and obviously he did stay with me. Surely he could have snuck out after I was asleep if he had wanted to but he stayed! Perhaps this whole situation isn't as gray as I thought. Maybe it is as simply as asking for the life I so desperately want, my life with Edward.

I had startled myself into my own realization as my once hazy future became clearer, if only I could get the past to do the same. It was plainly apparent now that sleep was no longer an option; I was too wired from my epiphany.

For the longest time I lay there watching my sleeping Prince, a man who would clearly do anything he could for me, despite what he may think of himself, I harbor no ill will toward him. That dreadful night three months ago when my memories were stolen from me may always be a black mark in my mind, I am not sure if I ever want to remember that night but what if I need those memories in order to get the rest of them back? Can a puzzle ever be complete without all of the pieces?

Swirling sleep eventually found me again and I was back in the torture chamber that is my mind, the room once filled with locks and doors now resembled more of a hallway, I stood in the middle knowing what I would soon hear and my mind did not disappoint.

The crying slowly turned into a wail as Edward attempted to calm the child, our child with his beautiful lullaby. I recognized the tune immediately from the other dreams; I would know it anywhere like it was burned in to my soul. Once again the beautiful music did nothing to soothe the child and it quickly stopped, my face pressed tightly against the cold black leather to hear Edward's words to our baby. "Shh little one, everything will be OK, Mommy is almost here," the crying started to settle and turn into a quiet whimper, "That's it, Mommy is coming for you, she won't hide us in here much longer, she will find where she put the key and let us out."

I bolted upright taking all of the covers with me and shaking the bed. What did that mean? I was sobbing now hysterically as I felt Edward's arms wrap around me. His touch was warm against my clammy skin. "Shhh, Shhh, I'm here Love." He pulled me back down onto the bed next to him. "It's just a dream."

"Oh Edward, it isn't just a dream, it's so much worse, it's the same dream. I keep seeing the same scene over and over in my mind only every time it is slightly different," I sobbed in to his chest soaking his shirt with my salty tears. " It's not even a nightmare really, it's more like one part of my mind trying to tell the other side what to do to get my memories back, but neither side will tell me how or what to do."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" He offered as he stroked my back to calm me.

"You will probably think that I am crazy. I keep dreaming about keys and locks, there is a screaming baby, our baby and you are trying to comfort it behind this black leather door by playing the piano for it." I wasn't quite ready to share the rest, the part I had learned tonight that I was the one who had locked them up in there. "There aren't any handles on the door, there is no where to put a key and I can't get to the two of you, it is so frustrating." I huffed out as I finally calmed myself down.

"What do you think it means?" That was the question I was hoping he wouldn't ask, the one that I couldn't answer.

"I don't know, but I just wish they would stop! Every night it is all I dream about, Keys!" I was so frustrated that I was fidgeting and couldn't sit still, "Sorry if I woke you."

Edward sat up pulling me with him; he spun on the bed sitting cross legged in front of me, "I will always be here for you Bella." I could just make out his smile in the moonlight, his eyes were questioning me, waiting for a response but I wasn't sure how to answer him while I am still uncertain of what he wants from me.

There were dozens of phrases playing through my head as we sat there awkwardly in the dark. I lay back down on the bed to stare up at the ceiling; Edward sat there watching me like he was afraid to move.

"You should try and sleep some more Love; I will go so you can rest." I thought about his offer for a second too long and he started to rise off the bed but I caught his arm and pulled him back down next to me, I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts.

I wasn't sure exactly what I was asking for when I invited him back into the bed but when he was near me, my body seemed to move of its own accord as if he were an extension of my very being. The only time I felt whole was when he was near.

We lay there silently in the darkness listening to each other's breathing, afraid to break the silence or force the inevitable conversations that loomed before us.

I broke the silence first, I wasn't quite ready for a deep conversation but I longed to hear his melodic voice, "Edward, I've been back here for a while and I was wondering why I've never heard you play your piano?"

"I don't really have an easy answer for that, I wish I did." He started to fidget with his hands in his unease.

"Is it because of me?" I blurted out the words before I really thought about what I was asking. Talk about putting someone on the spot, how could I have asked him that?

Silence was surrounding us and I could feel my heartbeat accelerating with each passing second. Edward drew a long deep breath before he answered me, "Actually, Yes, it is because of you."

I gasped and he quickly interjected, "But not because of why you think." He paused for a moment to examine my face for which I was thankful for the darkness; I must be stone white with fear. "When we were newly married you bought that piano for me as a wedding gift."

"Alice had mentioned that," I chimed in "But I still don't understand why you wouldn't use a gift just because I don't remember giving it to you."

"It's not just THAT piano stopping me Love. It's more like the moment that you woke up and we realized that your memories had been stolen, the music left me. You had brought music back in to my life and when part of you left me, it took my reason for playing along with it."

I was dumbstruck, I had never thought how deeply this was affecting him, not even in his secret letters to me did he ever confess anything this profound. Here he is opening up to ME, not his Bella, but me, and I don't know how to respond, He is so deeply wounded and I want to take all of his pain away, I want to give him the music back, I want to be his reason for playing again.

"Edward," I was fighting back tears as I rolled onto my side to face him, "There is nothing more that I would have loved to have given you for your Birthday than my memories." It was the truth, "I know that I am not the only one struggling with this." I wasn't sure how to continue on without hurting him or confessing that I had read his journals.

His hand brushed my cheek wiping away the tear that betrayed my strength. "I would never ask you for anything Bella, you have given me so much over the years and all I truly want is to see you happy. I will do whatever I can for you, I will be whoever you need me to be my Love."

How does he always change every conversation around so that is it about me? " But Edward, what about what you need?"

He thought for a moment before answering, "All I need is you."

Me? How can he ask for something that already belongs to him? That is when I remembered the gift that I had hidden away. "Wait here." I instructed him as I strode to the secret hiding stash to retrieve the tiny silver box.

I sat on the edge of the bed and placed my offering in his hands, this may not have been the moment I had pictured but he needed this now more than ever and I needed to give this gift to him.

"Edward, before you open this I have to confess something to you and I am not sure if you will still feel the same afterward." I took a deep breath preparing myself for what I was about to say. "Do you remember the other day when you asked me to email you that document?" He nodded his head in response but I could see the apprehension in his eyes. "There were two files and I couldn't remember the name so I opened them both." I inhaled a long deep breath, "Edward, I read the notes that you wrote to me while I was in the hospital!" There my dirty little secret was out in the open.

He didn't appear to respond, he was idle and lost in his thoughts. "Before you decide to hate me, I want to give this to you; from the bottom of my heart I truly wish that I could give you back YOUR Bella but all I can give you is who I am now and this…" I nudged the tiny box in his hand willing him to open it.

"Bella, I… I don't know what to say." He was stumbling with his words.

"Just open it and then decide." I took a deep breath as he tore the paper off and held the small black velour box in his hands. He slowly raised the lid as I felt a knot forming in my stomach.

The moonlight danced off the gold links of the ID bracelet as he pulled it from the box revealing the inscription; there on the polished golden bar said the most profound words I could offer him '_Venia pro totus infinitio.'_

He sat staring at it for a moment before his eyes came up to meet mine, there was a single tear forming in his eye that was reflecting the moonlight in its pool.

"It says; 'Forgiven for all eternity.'" I smiled tenderly at him as I closed the clasp around his wrist. "Edward, I forgive you! I forgive you for that awful night, for you thinking that you didn't protect me. I forgive you for hating yourself, for hating me that I can't remember. Edward, I forgive YOU." I took his hand in mine and pulled it to my chest placing it over my heart as I stressed my gift to him one last time, "I FORGIVE you."

I wasn't sure how he would respond when I was practicing my speech in my head earlier, but he simply sat there staring at his hand on my chest and the bracelet that reflected my words under the gentle glow from the moon. I would give anything to be able to hear what was going on in his mind but I sat there in the frozen silence waiting for him.

"How?" He cleared his throat as he choked on his word, "How can you give me the one gift that I don't deserve?"

I answered him so quickly as these were words I truly meant, "Because it is mine to give!" Those three little words, 'I forgive you' were the easiest words I have ever said and I meant them.

We didn't speak again for what felt like hours, we lay there in the dark, our bodies pressed together atop the blankets, Edward kept stroking the gift that I had given him, he was deep in thought and processing what I had said. I knew he needed this time to take it all in.

The silence broke as Edward eventually spoke, "I'm not mad that you read my notes, I am just surprised that after reading my thoughts that you would chose forgiveness as your response. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would ever hear those words or how they would affect me. I feel unworthy of them after everything that has happened." I knew that he wouldn't accept it lightly but there was something in the tone of his voice that told me he was working on it.

"Thank-you, for not being mad that I read your journal. I felt so guilty. like I knew your inner most thoughts before I really knew who you were."

"Bells, isn't that what a journal is for? Besides you are the one who turned me onto the whole idea, you always told me that some things are easier to say by pen than by tongue." He took another long deep breath to gather his thoughts, "I wanted to tell you all of those things but I was afraid, I have felt so lost and alone not having my best friend here with me to help me through it all, writing those notes to you, it was like I was telling them to you and you were there with me, like you are now." I could feel his pain now as if it were my own.

"Promise me this Edward; you will never keep how you are feeling from me again. I want to be here for you as much as you are here for me." We both smiled as he nodded in agreement.

"Do you still write in your journal?" He asked.

I was startled at his question having never thought about it. I had always kept a journal growing up but the idea never came to me that I may have kept up the trend. "I didn't know I had one." I answered him honestly.

He smiled at me before he pulled me from the bed and led me down the hall to my little library, "I think you keep it on the shelf up there next to the Austen novels. I have never read it but I've seen you place it up there a few times."

I stood there next to my generous stranger-husband as he directed me to the shelf I was looking for; he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before he left me with my inner most thoughts.

Dawn was breaking over the water in the horizon, the room was painted in shades of yellow and orange as I ran my hand along the spines of my favorite books like they were old friends. There next to _Sense and Sensibility_ was the answer to all of my questions.

I made myself comfortable on the window seat as I picked up my black leather journal and began to read.

Late morning was approaching as Edward knocked on the open door. I hadn't noticed him standing there with juice and muffins in hand. "You've been here a while and I thought you might be getting hungry." He offered me the food along with an earnest smile; he was still wearing the bracelet on his wrist. I thanked him for his offering but he lingered in the room like he was hoping or waiting for something.

Placing the journal at my side I patted the seat beside me as I took a break to enjoy breakfast with a newly inspired Edward. His bringing food to me was nothing new, he had always been caring and generous but today there was something about the way he carried himself that was different, he seemed lighter and jovial, like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders.

"So have you learned anything interesting in there?" He poked my journal which contained so many 'interesting things'.

"You could say that!" I blushed and my whole body was turning scarlet, "So the piano apparently has a few secrets of its own." I smirked.

Edward burst out laughing as he obviously knew what I was alluding to, "That it does!" His laughter subsided to quiet chuckles and a smirk stretched across his face, "So, those are the sorts of things that you write about in there, maybe I should have read it." He winked, "Sounds much more interesting than what I wrote."

If only he knew what stories this little black book contained, he would probably be wearing scarlet to match mine. I was learning more than I ever imagined I could about the woman I had become over the past five years. I reveled in tales of our courtship and could picture the moments as they unfolded on the pages before me. The day Edward had proposed was one of the few that surprised me, I had imagined him as the sort of guy that would make a show out of it but instead I was touched to read that he had proposed to me under the moonlight at the end of a pier, he bent down on one knee and asked me to be his everything and share in his forever. If I hadn't already been in love with him, reading about that tender moment, I would have taken him for mine right then and there.

I had been staring off into my thoughts when he brought me back, reminding me that I was not alone, "Perhaps I will leave you to your reading."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to ignore you, it's just that reading my memories, it's like I am watching a movie about my own life, I know there are still many scenes left but I want to skip forward to catch up but I don't want to miss any small detail, what if one of these memories helps trigger something to unlock my mind?"

"Just don't stress yourself out if it doesn't Bells." He placed a tender kiss on my forehead, "I will be downstairs if you need to talk or if you have any questions, please come and find me when you are done."

I nodded before returning to my reading. Our wedding was something out of a fairytale; it was exactly how I had imagined my dream day as a little girl; my Dad walking me down the aisle of our old Church back home, my long white train trailing softly over a carpet of rose pedals. My Father, lifting the sheer veil from my face before kissing me once on each cheek and placing my hand in Edward's. We had written our own vows which were heartfelt and raw with love; reading about the moment he slid the diamond and gold band onto my finger I could feel a tingle on my own finger now. I looked down at my naked hand and I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to my rings. I was deeply saddened as I assumed the worst that those too were taken from us.

There were too many happy times in this book for me to focus on our dark realities. Our life wasn't always perfect, we had fights and arguments but we always made up; usually over secret little messages, apparently I had quite a knack for disrupting his meetings with dirty little snippets, to which he always repaid the favor upon his return.

I was reading about our house in Chicago when I got the most insight into one of Edward's mysteries; his cousin Rosalie had shown up out of the blue after getting into some sort of trouble with the wrong guy. My opinion seemed higher of her than Edward's was. I was determined now to reacquaint them; if he takes nothing from this horrific experience but the knowledge that life and family are far too precious to waste, then I will have succeeded; surely if I can forgive him then he can repay the gesture onto the only other family member he has.

Flipping through years of my life a few pages at a time was starting to overload my emotions; I stopped briefly to shower and dress before returning my breakfast dishes to the kitchen. I strode past Edward who sat In the den reading the news paper; he too was dressed and showed no signs of wear from our long night.

"Hello Beautiful," He smiled up at me, "How's the reading coming along?"

"Good, there are a few things that I think I might need some help explaining but I would like to finish it. Do you think that maybe we could go out later to talk?" We could easily sit and talk here and now but I feel like I have been trapped in this place so much lately that I need a change of scenery.

"Anything for you Love, actually there is somewhere I would love to take you, I have a gift for you too." An impish grin betrayed his attempt at coyness.

"It was YOUR birthday; you aren't supposed to be giving gifts." I was glaring at him suspiciously, "I shouldn't be too much longer, I don't seem to write dates in my journal but I am up to the part where I apparently…" Gulp," asked you to make babies with me!" I was blushing at my bold choice of words as I patted my rounded belly. "I guess I know how it ends though."

He smiled broadly at his own memories that were dancing across his face. "Get your mind out of the gutter Mr. Masen!" I scolded him as I turned and walked away making my way back to my study.

I read on, we had been 'practicing' for a few months when one morning changed my life;

_This morning I woke and the world felt different, I felt as though life suddenly had new meaning._

_I had the mot wonderful dream last night; Edward was playing the piano for me as I sat on the bench next to him holding a tiny baby in my arms. He kept looking between my face and the sleeping Angel in my arms smiling joyously._

_I had never seen him so proud, never heard him play with such fervor than at that moment, his music had wings and filled the air with sweet loving melodies._

_I was saddened to awaken to silence and solitude this morning, today is our third anniversary and I won't see Edward until dinner tonight; we both have meetings all day that cannot be postponed._

_I have been holding onto my little secret for a few days, the doctor confirmed my suspicions that we will soon be blessed with our very own little Angel. I wanted to tell him right away but I also want to make this night so special. Starting a family means so much to Edward having lost nearly all of his, that I am honored to be sharing this little life inside of me with him._

_Tonight after dinner, I plan to give him a little gift; I found this cute little baby t-shirt that says 'I love Daddy' I hid it under the bed and I can almost picture his face now, he won't be expecting this and I feel as though I am sharing the worlds greatest gift with him; Life._

That was my final journal entry. So, I had known all along that we were expecting. I made my way to the hiding place I described and pulled out the tiny shirt from under the bed, recognizing it right away, I smiled at the thought of Edwards face had he been given the opportunity to see it. I will give it to him someday though; perhaps right now isn't the best time.

I tucked the shirt into my night side table and sat on the bed for a moment remembering the conversations that last night held. There were no questions in my mind, I forgave Edward and I love him with every inch of my being.

Tip-toeing down the stairs, our recently sterile home was now filled with tender melody. I followed the alluring sound and paused at the doorway to admire Edward sitting at his piano.

His fingers danced across the keys in movements almost too fast for the eyes to make out. The tune, shifting into a familiar chorus that I had been hearing every night in my dreams for the past few months.

Inching forward as if drawn in by the music I stood behind my husband and placed my hands on his shoulders closing my eyes like his to take in every note that played, savoring the very essence of the sweet sounds.

My Lullaby trickled off and slowly turned into a slower piece that I had never heard before, it was warm and loving, new and fresh. I slid onto the bench next to him and his eyes opened. His warm was expression welcoming me home as I leaned in and placed a single kiss on his cheek before I whispered my thoughts in to his ear, "That is beautiful Tiger, I love this new song."

The keys stumbled under his fingers as his hands froze hitting a few melancholy keys, "What did you just say?" Pleading fire was burning in his eyes.

Had he not heard me? "I said that your playing is beautiful and I love your new piece." I was confused and saw nothing wrong with my statement, I was certain this was a new song he had written.

He look at me puzzled, "No Bella, what did you call me just now?"

"What Tiger? I always call you that." I didn't understand his reaction to the nickname.

"No Bella, you don't!" He took my check in his hand and turned his body so that he was facing me. "You haven't called me Tiger in months."

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**A/N #2**. I know that some of you were hoping for a different 3 word phrase but I think this one is much more profound. It has been my play all along for the journal and conversation that started at the piano. I know some of you will hate me for leaving it there but I assure you I have my reasons. Thanks for reading, I assure you this story is not complete and there is still much more to come, Bella getting her memory back is only the beginning. Please forgive my Latin if it is off, it has been years since I studied it in school.

Please review, even if you have left one before I appreciate each and every comment.


	19. Moonlit Melodies

I do not own the characters or anything twilight.

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**Moonlit Melodies.**

I couldn't help feeling unworthy of Bella's gift; here I had been struggling to tell her that I love her, and she comes out with three different words that have far more meaning. I never expected or even knew that I wanted to hear those words, but once she said them I wasn't prepared for how I would feel.

Lying in bed next to her, surrounded by the silent abyss of night, I couldn't stop stroking the Latin phrase, as if seeing the words in the ancient language was putting a spell over me. My heart and soul were coming alive like her gift was not just forgiveness, but life itself. I thought that I knew the meaning and depth of love before, but I wasn't prepared for how deep it truly can go, the love we had proclaimed before this night seems trivial now in comparison to what I was feeling. I can only imagine what Bella must be thinking and feeling right now, she has offered me so much and I can barely respond to her, my senses are overloaded and I need time to process all of this.

When she told me about her dreams, I couldn't help focusing on the fact that she had mentioned a black leather door; Bella had always been the one to see the plainly obvious facts in any given situation, she had always been highly observant. How she missed this I will never know. My first thought was her Journal. She had always referred to journals as,"Doors to the soul," and I just had a feeling that there was something in that book that may help retrieve her memories. If only she had mentioned her dreams to me sooner.

Even if she never gets all of her memories back, I now know that I can live with that. If she is so easily willing to forgive me unconditionally without regret, then I too need to move on and perhaps forgive myself in time, I owe it to her to at least try.

All night, as we lay there in stillness, a melody was coming to me; one of hope and wonder. I could hear the chorus and bridge as if the silence was playing them to me. I haven't touched my piano in months, the last time I did, the memories were too intense, too real and painful to deal with, but that seems like so long ago now.

The air in our home felt different this morning. I was apprehensive to sit at the ivory keys, maybe apprehensive isn't the best word, I think I might actually be afraid. Like a coward I sat and read the paper, hoping for some sort of divine courage or inspiration to come to me. It wasn't long before I received just that in the form of Bella asking if we could go out later and talk, that was what I needed, hope. Tonight I will tell her everything.

There was something different about her yet again, the way she stood and spoke was not the least bit reminiscent of the stranger that I have been living with, she was almost the old Bella, there was still something missing though but for once I was determined to focus on the positive, Bella was slowly coming back to me.

I could fight the melody that was surging through my veins no more, my fingers felt like they may explode if the tune couldn't course through them soon. Lifting the cover to reveal the black and white keys, I felt like I was being welcomed home. This very piano, vintage and reserved was one of the few originals whose keys were true Ivory; the feel of their patina under my skin was intoxicating. The Ivory was hard and sharp in contrast to the soft warm ebony, themselves a contradiction, yet together they make the sweetest sounds.

Scales trickled out of me at first as my fingers warmed to their old friends before they slowly transitioning into the Lullaby that I had written for Bella years ago. The tenderly inquisitive notes blending with the sharper blushing chords flowed from me as if my music was calling to her; I was calling to her in a sense, inviting her back in with words that I had been struggling to find.

I could sense that she was near before I felt her small warm hands on my shoulders as I transitioned into the new melody that came to me in the wee hours of the morning. My eyes remained closed; I was seeing an image of Bella and I sitting here in the near future with our precious baby in her arms as I played this tender melody to them both. I felt her warm lips on my cheek but I was lost in the chorus of what I hoped to be a perfect gift for our child.

She was speaking to me, I was starting to drift in to her speech when my fingers stumbled as I heard her call me a name that I had been longing to hear, my 'bedroom name' "Tiger"

At first I couldn't process what she had said and I had to ask her to repeat herself, there again, she called me Tiger!

I sat, stunned, locked in turmoil at the one word I had been longing to hear. Had she read about it in her journal or did she in fact remember it for herself? I was dying to know, yet terrified at the possibility that this very well may be another disappointment I was setting myself up for.

"Edward, hunny, are you OK?" She was looking at me with a worried expression. My head was nodding in response of its own accord; my eyes were unfocused on the paradigm of turmoil that I have come to call home.

My shoulder was shaking now and I felt a squeeze into the tender muscles as I was brought back to the one sided conversation, "Hey, look at me!" She was trying to turn my face and get my attention but I was terrified, what if I was imagining all of this? Perhaps I am so desperate for the connection that I actually willed her to call me that, or worse, what if she read it in the journal and assumed that is an everyday nick name she has for me?

There were too many what if's in my life these days. Two weeks I sat at her bedside, never knowing if she would wake up and now here I sit again and I am now unable to respond to her. My body, wanting to move in response to her attempts to summon me as if it is a separate entity from my mind, both halves reaching out to each other in blindness.

I felt a painful stab across my cheek as soul and body rejoined to recoil from Bella's hard slap. "Hey, snap out of it!" She smiled at me, "Are you with me know Masen?"

"Did you just slap me?" I was shocked beyond reason; Bella had never been one to resort to violence, but it was just what I needed.

"Yea, sorry about that, I've been trying to talk to you for a few minutes but you've been staring at me with a blank expression, I had to get your attention." She was eyeing me quizzically as I struggled to regain my composure.

"Bella," I took her face in both my hands, "Tell me this one thing Love and please, be honest; did you just call me Tiger?" I was petrified to hear her tell me that I was in fact delusional, that perhaps I had finally succumbed to some sort of psychotic breakdown from all the stress; that may be an easier reality to accept.

"You are doing it again," I looked at her puzzled, "You are drifting off into space again." She pulled my hands from her cheeks, taking them into hers. "Yes, I called you Tiger. Edward, I have been sitting upstairs wondering how to come to you, what to tell you." She paused, unable to articulate her thoughts.

"Are you trying to tell me that you remember?" I closed my eyes in response, preparing myself for the dreaded confirmation.

Instead I felt warmth and heat as Bella's soft lips pressed on mine, lingering gently as our skin met and she spoke the tender words to me that melted all doubt from my being, "Edward Masen, I love you."

Not only could I hear her words, but her lips saying them against my own, was brail to my soul. I couldn't break the kiss, I deepened it with dozens of tender longing pecks before pulling back to look my wife in the eyes, all the warmth and passion ablaze in her chestnut gaze confirming for me that she was back.

I leapt from the bench taking her into my arms and twirled around the room, our reflections multiplied in the many facets of mirror, our bodies were once again united in body and spirit, I never wanted to get her go again but there was so much that I still needed to know.

We sat again on the bench as Bella explained to me what she had found in her journal, why she thought that she had blocked me out. Not all of her memory was back, she still has no recollection of that dreadful night, or the entire day that preceded it, but one lost day is a small price to pay for regaining five years of life. Maybe it is a blessing that she doesn't remember that dark alley.

Her best guess was that she thought she wasn't going to survive so she locked away the secret that he had been hiding; the life that we had created, the very one that she had planned to tell me about later that night.

This moment that I had been hoping and praying for was finally upon me and I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry now. Relief was consuming me as I watched the remorse and wonder in my wife's eyes that for weeks had bared no emotion. "If only I had known, if only I had read the journal sooner Edward, I could have saved us so much misery." Tears were trickling from her eyes in rivulets and I brushed them away with tender wipes, I wanted to wipe away all of her salty pain.

We spent the rest of the afternoon comforting each other; I didn't want to let her out of my arms now that she was finally back where she belonged, my body ached as my muscles struggled to remember the feel of her next to me.

She still wanted to go out when we both were finally coming to grips with what had transpired over the past day. Dinner was no longer the uncomfortable 'date like' event as once again I was seated across from my lover, my best friend, my wife and I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

I no longer felt guilty for lustful thoughts toward her as passions were once again set ablaze. I was seeing her through new eyes and she was exquisite; her laugh was melting away months of tension. Every time her hand would brush against mine it was like an electric current jolting me and I couldn't get enough of it, I wanted to drink in every smile as I could taste her love in the air.

Our bodies were once again in tune with each other and I couldn't help myself, I wanted and needed to reconnect with her physically but this too would have to be at her pace. I know that she has no memories of what happened to her, but I insisted that she should meet with her doctor and therapist in the morning, before we attempt anything physical, we've been apart for months, what was one more day?

I had intended on giving her my gift tonight but now that she remembers, I need to elaborate on it and as if blessed by divine inspiration I knew just how I could ease some of the discomfort and hurt for both of us.

Dusk was falling as I walked my beautiful wife back to the Aston Martin; opening the door for her I led her to her seat as I placed a gentle kiss on her naked left hand, I would have to do something about its barren state.

"Bella, my love, there is somewhere that I would like to take you if that's alright?" I begged her with my puppy dog eyes, I knew she was tired and probably running on adrenaline only just as I was, but this was the perfect moment and I didn't want to let it slip.

Her eyes met mine reflecting years of love and devotion back to me, "I will go anywhere with you Edward."

That was what I needed to hear. I had planned to show this to her in the future but now seemed fitting. We drove down the quiet suburban streets chatting all the while, the city lights were fading into the distance as I pulled down the long drive and parked the car on the gravel driveway.

Opening her door I led her so that she was facing the two story colonial that I had been afraid to show her for weeks.

"Bella, I know that three years ago you would never have accepted this, but when I thought that you would never remember me, I bought this house for you and our child. I wanted you both to have somewhere that you would feel safe and loved. I hope that you will consider living here, that we can raise our child here, together."

Under the moonlight I could see a tear forming in her left eye as she nodded her head in agreement to my offer. Taking her hand in mine I led her on a tour of our new home. She loved every aspect of it and was very eager to move in which was not the response that I had been expecting. I kept waiting for her to protest and tell me I was being rash and foolish for buying a house without consulting her. The moment I had seen this place I knew that it was perfect, I could picture a swing set in the yard as Bella and I sat watching our children play from the porch.

I saved the best part for last and as I led her through the kitchen and out the double back doors I placed my hands over her eyes.

Bella gasped when I revealed the back yard to her. The moon left a trail of silver light across the surface of the pond that graced the acreage but that wasn't my favorite part of the house. We sat on the old white porch swing that had been carefully restored just as I had imagined it in my visions.

We stayed there under the black and silver night holding each other close. I took her hand in mine and was tracing the contours of her fingers when I caught the reflection of a shooting star in her eye.

"Bella, I love you with all that I am, and all that I ever will be. You have given me so much with your love and forgiveness and I know this journey may be long and hard, Bella, I am only alive as long as I have you, you are the music in my soul. Every beat of my heart thumps to your melody and I will spend every last beat loving you. We have been blessed with a second chance at life, a second chance at love; Isabella Marie Masen, will you do me the distinct honor of marrying me again?"

I could see her pupils dilating as I slipped the diamond ring onto her finger, a perfect fit.

She smiled at me as a single tear trickled down her check, dancing in the moonlight, "Edward Anthony Masen, I love you and I will spend every breath of my life telling you that."

Our lips met under the halo of moonlight and I could hear the music swelling though my soul. Her lips were sweet like honey and I was drawn deeper into her nectar before I finally had to pull away as the damp of night was sending shivers though both our bodies.

Returning home was euphoric as I explained my plans to Bella. My intention had been to take her on vacation before the baby comes, I had seen a brochure in the boutique for a 'baby moon' and already booked the tickets but now that she had agreed to remarry me, it would be more than that, this trip will be a second honeymoon and a fresh start for both of us.

Waking up next to my beautiful sleeping Angel was intoxicating. The night was blissfully silent, we both slept free of terror in each others arms and I had to keep reminding myself that this was real, that she really was here next to me.

Life seemed to have new meaning and I was once again seeing joy in everyday trivialities; the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen, the warmth of having someone seated across from me at the breakfast table, even the frustrations of having her once again reading over my shoulder was inviting.

Today would be both a trying and giving day; we were able to squeeze in appointments with all of Bella's medical teams throughout the day and we still hadn't told anyone else about out wonderful news.

Once again I felt dread as I waited dutifully outside her therapists office, she was my wife in ever sense of the word but I still owed her this privacy. I promised myself that I would never ask or pry about what goes on behind those doors. Even with her memories she must still be struggling for understanding and if she ever wants to share that with me I will be here for her but it pained me to not be the one in there comforting her, my arms ached to hold her having been empty for so long.

Her cheeks were puffy and tear streaked when she came to get me, inviting me in to her session. I sat at her side stroking her shoulder as her therapist explained to us both what to expect, there was a chance that the painful memories may still come to her and we needed to be prepared for it if they did. Her Doctor was hinting that given the nature of the reasoning behind her locking me away, that if we were to rush into our sexual relationship, it could potentially trigger them. We all thought it best if we take things slowly.

Our next appointment after lunch was with our perinatologist, I loved going to these visits. Seeing our tiny little baby on the screen kicking and squirming was melting my heart and I wanted to hold that little one in my arms now, but at only one pound he or she wasn't quite ready for this world just yet.

"Bella, Edward, would you like to know the gender of your baby?" Her Doctor asked us both.

"The choice is yours my love." I offered Bella as I kissed her hand. I was aching to know what we were having but I had a feeling that this being one of life's true surprises that Bella would want to wait to find out and I was right.

"Very well then, Bella, things are coming along very nicely, I am still seeing a residual pocket from your hematoma so I do still think it best that you refrain from any pelvic activity for a few more weeks, until I am certain that it is resolved." Her Doctor explained to us. It seemed that the world was against us ever being intimate again but it would be a small price to pay to have a healthy wife and child. We completed her routine blood work that she did monthly after what happened and we were sent on our way. We were both looking forward to hitting that six month mark when she would be free and clear of it all.

We both found it amusingly ironic that now that our love was rekindled and we both desired to be intimate, the doctors and fate both had other ideas.

There was so much joy and planning to share that we spent most of the evening on the phone sharing the news with our friends and her family. I even obeyed her wish and called my cousin, inviting her for Thanksgiving.

Bella back to her old self was now planning a huge feast and inviting everyone to join us in our new home for the Holiday but that means we have only three weeks to move and prepare.

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**A/N** Thank-you to all my readers, I appreciate each and every message and review that you send me. I hope this answered some of your questions about the moment that Bella got her memory back. i had always intended for her journal to be the key and the moment she shared that knowledge with him to be at the piano.

So Now I guess I have a wedding to plan for our couple ;)

Please Review! Thank-you all.


	20. Shadows

**A/N Let me start by saying that I am sorry this has taken so long to update. Some of you know that I am working on an original novel and somewhere along the lines the stories crossed, I had though at first that I could combine the two in some way but it won't do justice to my Novel is I really am going to attempt to publish it. I will sadly be ending this story this week. The end is written and is being edited. It will be appearing in 3 short chapters and I hope that I have tied up all ends. Please don't be angry that it is ending. I am saddened to say good bye to this story as it has been a great companion but like all works it must end and make way for other projects. The next chapter will be up tomorrow. **

**A huge thank-you to all of those that have sent me PM's in the past weeks and the encouragement. This truly is for YOU.**

**The character names and any references to Twilight belong to their respective author.**

**Shadows**

There were so many thoughts and emotions fighting to take forefront in my mind, I was grateful to have most of my memories returned but terrified at the same time of what memories might still be lurking deep within the dark recesses of my mind.

Edward has been amazing through the past two weeks helping me ready myself for this new adventure that we were about to embark on. The new house was only twenty minutes away but I couldn't help feeling sentimental toward this condo that had been our home for the past three years, I had only just remembered the joys of moving here and now it was time to say Goodbye to our home.

The final boxes were packed and as the movers carried them out of the nearly vacant room, I couldn't help the angst that wass a growing pit inside my stomach; the new house is beautiful and it will make a lovely home for our growing family, but I felt as though there was a dark shadow lurking at every turn.

I had hoped with my memories return that these feelings would have disappeared but they only grew stronger with each day. I had so much that I should have been looking forward to, the new home, the holidays, our trip and especially renewing our wedding vows but something was missing and I felt like too much had been going in our favor lately.

"Love, are you OK?" Edward's deep glistening eyes shone with excitement. He was happy to be leaving the past behind us. The past two weeks he has been so tender and loving. Now that he had me back he was doing everything possible to make me feel loved and secure.

"I'm fine, just a little tired and stressed from all the moving, let's just get it over with." My eyes peered down toward my feet as I attempted to hide my unease. His warm hand lifted my chin as he placed a tender kiss on my forehead and re-assured me that everything would be great and that I was just overwhelmed and needed time to adjust. Despite my downtrodden feelings about the move, one thing hadn't changed and that was the passion that I felt for this Godly man that stood before me.

My body ached and yearned for his touch, the nights we spent entwined in each others arms were heavenly but my body longed to once again feel pleasure and heat. The follicles on my neck stood on end as he draped a flurry of kisses down my neck, I was putty in his capable hands and he knew just how to mold me, how to shake the cobwebs of doubt from every crevice of my being.

He pulled away too soon taking my hand in his as we walked through each room one last time, saying goodbye to each room and taking with it the memories that it held. When we reached Edwards music room we both lingered here, each of us remembering the fire and passion that this room once held and the future that it promised. If I could have taken one room with me, it would have been this mirrored sanctuary that had at times been filled with sweet melodies and molten lust but I knew that we needed a change, a new start on our life. We would build new memories and fill a new home with secrets and dreams.

***

Moving day had gone by in a blur of boxes and chaos. I stood in our new master bedroom instructing the movers where to put things. To my protest but Edward's insistence, I did not lifting a finger; instead I barked orders like a general to my obedient battalion. Alice arrived from work to help and she was a great comfort to me.

I gave in and allowed Alice to help with the decorating; I no longer wanted to live in the sea of white that once was our retreat. No, we were building a new life together and it was time for change. This room was not as grand and opulent as the last, instead it was homey and warm; pale greens and blues adorned the linens in their demure tones. The only part of this room that was not new and still resembled the past was our large spindle bed.

Alice took charge of unpacking the closets and I didn't doubt that half of my wardrobe would be missing by the end of the day, no doubt on it's way to Goodwill. I checked on the men who were setting up Edward's office that sat next to mine, the only other rooms upstairs sat vacant for today, the guestroom and what would become the nursery, they sat untouched. I still did not feel ready to open the door to the room that would hold our child's dreams and laughter, instead I ventured downstairs and out the back door.

The white porch swing swayed smoothly in the early evening breeze. Three ducks remained on our little pond but I had nodoubts that they too would soon be leaving us for warmer climates, they sat on the cold water waiting for the signs to appear amd tell them by instinct that it was time to move on before the frigid icy winter arrived.

Jasper appeared beside me with a cup of tea and a throw that he placed over my shoulders. We sat side by side watching the cacophony of nature. The last petals of the purple Irises that sat at the waters edge held on for dear life, not yet ready to be claimed by the elements. The season was changing and nature reflected this everywhere, the colors were fading to matte hues of browns and mosses.

Words were not spoken between us but I feel a calm envelop me with my friend's small gesture of comfort.

When I do return inside I was resolved to open myself to this new life and home, the walls seemed brighter as the rooms were filled with friends unpacking boxes. They had made quick work of their tasks and although things weren't in the exact places I should have wish, for now it was starting to resemble a home.

Laughter spilled out over pizza and beer as the boys sorted out the den to their satisfaction while Alice and I organized the kitchen. It did feel good to have a task at hand; I had sat idle far too long feeling like a fragile orchid these past months. If life was evolving around me and the scenery was changing then perhaps I too needed to change.

***

I lay awake in our big bed, my husband sleeping soundly next to me, exhausted from the day's work. I Slipped on my robe and I made my way down the wooden staircase examining the secrets that our new home held in the dark. I was surrounded by silence in our country home. The city lights and sounds were now but a distant memory, we had left all of that behind us and I couldn't help but feel like we had run away from that dark night and although I still didn't remember what happened, I felt as though I wouldn't truly be whole until I did.

Each room had its charm and I took a few moments to acquaint myself with each of them. It was strange to see our furniture in this new setting but I was reminded that they were old friends as I nuzzled myself into the warm embrace of the sofa. I was soon overcome with sleep and for the first time in weeks my mind dared to dream;

_Edward stood dutifully behind a swing in our back yard, pushing a child that squealed happily, "Higher Daddy, Higher!" A small brown rabbit hopped out of the woods and found his way to a garden that was flourishing with life; flowers and vegetables grew under the loving touch of my sodden hands as I tended to the earth._

I was brought to a half waken state as I was lifted off the sofa and carried upstairs, I felt warm and safe in his strong arms as he returned me to bed tucking the blankets securely around me before he crawled back into the bed next to me.

Returned to our soft and warm bed I lay there day dreaming, I now couldn't stop thinking about my dream, I had never been one for gardening but the feel of the moist warm earth and the metallic smell of the dirt had me wanting to root myself here and see something grow.

No longer sleepy I rolled to my side to see if Edward was still awake but he slept peacefully and soundly. The room was dark but for a stream of silver moonlight that blessed the room with a hint of light. His arm lay atop the blankets and he still wore the ID bracelet that I gave him, I traced my finger over the inscription that I couldn't see but I could feel the delicate grooves of the script and I could read the words like Braille.

He was beautiful and the faint light did not disappoint me with what little I could see, his neck, though relaxed was muscular yet supple and his jaw stuck out at the most beautiful angles as if carved by a master artists touch. I couldn't help but trail my finger along the contour of it until I was just below his lip which sat in a relaxed pout. I Traced a line from his brow and down his nose re-acquainting myself with the face of the man that I loved, as my finger rested on his lip he placed a small kiss on it's tip.

"I'm sorry I woke you," I whispered in the dark as he pulled me close and my head rested against his bare chest.

The diamond on my hand sparkled and reflected the promises made just outside this house a few weeks ago. His chest and stomach were firm under my touch and I knew I should have tried to sleep but I yearned to feel my skin pressed against his, to have our body heats rise together in the throws of passion.

"What are you doing?" He asked me but I did not answer, instead I returned my response by placing kisses across his chest. My hand rubbed and caressed his muscles of their own accord; this was a path that they knew down to their last cell. His mouth was on mine in a flurry of passionate kisses as we were entwined in a sea of limbs and caresses. He whispered sweet nothings down the side of my neck and his hot breath brought chills to the tender skin as he reached my nape, his fingers slid the strap of my night gown down and he replaced the vacancy with tender kisses.

Heat was rising in my body and I pulsed with excitement and longing. Each kiss left me wanting more as I was famished and his affection was the sweetest tasting dessert. Every ounce of my being was longing for release as the adrenaline built and I swirled in its heavenly intoxication.

"Bella, Love, maybe this isn't a good idea." Edward said between kisses, "Remember what the Doctor said?" And with those words my body ran cold and I started to shiver.

With my distractions foiled I curled up in my husbands arms and drifted off to sleep in hopes of finishing off what I had started in my dreams.

***

I wake to an empty bed and am shocked to see that it was much later than I would have guessed. Edward sat at the kitchen table; coffee and paper in his hands. He greeted me with a warm kiss but I was chagrined at my bold attempt to seduce him last night, when I clearly knew the rules the Doctor had set out for us.

We sat and enjoy breakfast together, small talk passing the time until our friends arrived once again to help with the monumental task of unpacking. We all had our jobs to do and we set to it. By noon I once again had my own little office library and Emmett had built rows of shelves for my many dear leather bound friends.

I managed to steal a few moments to myself to write in my journal, playing catch up and recounting the past few months leading up to this. I wrote about waking up to the confusion and dark that was all things Edward. I blushed as I recounted our rooftop embrace and all of our tender moments that led to my memory's return. By the time I replaced my journal on the shelf next to Sense and Sensibility, three hours had passed.

When I emerged I found that Alice and I were the only ones left at the house, the men had all returned to the city to bring back lunch and our cars. I stopped to watch Alice as she was making the bed in what had now become our guest room. The transformation was astounding; that room now felt so warm and inviting, ready to receive guests. My heart ached at the thought of Edward sleeping alone in that bed all of those nights while he gave me my space.

"Bella," Alice patted a spot on the bed, inviting me to sit, "Talk to me sweetie, I can tell that something is brothering you. You haven't been yourself lately, what is it Hun?"

"Oh, Alice, I wish I knew," I sigh, not sure where to begin," I just feel like there is this dark shadow hanging around me, it's like I am forgetting something and it is on the tip of my tongue but I just can't quite place what it is."

Her little arms wrapped themselves around me and we fell back on the bed. "You've been through so much Hun, I am sure that this feeling will pass once you are settled in here."

"I'm sure that's it." I smiled and lied to my best friend.

Alice soon dragged me outside and insisted that we had a game plan in place for the yard. I thought that it was fine the way it was, sure maybe it could have used a few flowers here and there but fall was hardly the time to be planting a garden.

I heard the distant crunching of gravel as I saw the cars rounding the corner into the drive way. Edward smiled from ear to ear as he always did when he drove his Martin. Jasper followed behind in the Volvo and Emmett brought up the rear in my Lexus.

"How come I had to drive the chick car?" Emmett blurted out once the cars were all parked in the garage. We all laughed as he tossed me the keys and informed me that I needed to get something tougher if I was going to live out here in the Boonies.

"I would hardly consider this the Boonies, Em." Edward rolled his eyes at his friend that was looking for a playful fight.

I left the _children_ to frolic and play as I headed around to the back yard. I was drawn to the waters edge and despite the cool nip to the air, I felt cozy here at its edge. I could see myself sitting here in the summer warmth, my feet dangling in the water, sure it wasn't a lake but this would be my own little oasis.

Arms wrapped around my waist from behind and I felt a warm kiss on the back of my neck. "It's beautiful isn't it?" I asked.

"Not nearly as lovely as you are." Edward responded in between kisses.

"Alice thinks we need this massive overhaul to the yard." I rolled my eyes both in annoyance and pleasure as he continued to nibble at my neck.

"And what do you think?" He asked while nibbling at my neck.

"I, I, I…" I was distracted by his kisses, "I think the yard is wonderful, maybe all it needs are the few gardens." I couldn't help but bite my lip at his teasing embraces. "I think I will take up gardening and maybe even grow vegetables."

"Whatever you want love, it shall be yours." He offered me and a smile grew across my face at the thought.

"What if I want to seduce my husband?" I turned to face him and I saw my favorite devilish half grin stretch across his face.

With a clearing of his throat he informed me that I would have to take that up with the Doctor first and I was once again defeated, not that I didn't mind the challenge.

Evening rolled in and I was pleased to find the house finally taking shape, only a few boxes remained untouched and the gang promised to return inthe morning to help finish the job. Once the dishes were cleaned from dinner we retreated to our bedroom where Edward once again foiled my attempts to seduce him. With my swearing that he would be the death of me, he chuckled and we drifted off to sleep, peacefully in each others arms.

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**Please review for I shall miss your words once they end.**


	21. Into the Darkness

Any references to Twilight are property of their author.

A/N As promised, another short chapter. I had to break the end down in to a few smaller ones but I hope it does not disappoint. A thank-you to Mandydrako for pointing out a few errors with tense in the last chapter which I hope are now fixed.

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**Into the Dark**

Thanksgiving arrived and our house was filled with friends and family. Boisterous laughter set the mood as the men gathered around the TV watching the game while Alice and I busied ourselves in the kitchen. She had insisted on doing most of the cooking this year but I found myself hovering over her until she gave up and let me do it for myself.

We were just setting the table when I heard an ominous roar from outside and the men rushing to the door practically fighting one another to be the first outside to see what the commotion was.

When I made my way out to see what all the fuss was about I was taken aback to see a shiny silver beast of a motorcycle parked in front of the men, all but Edwards mouth sat agape as perched on the leather seat was a tall, lean buxom Goddess, dressed head to toe in tight black leather. I could feel my husband's mood shift as he offered to park her bike in the garage out of the rain that she seemed to have brought with her. Rosalie removed her helmet letting loose her long wavy blonde locks that appeared to be the only dry part of her.

Each man was jockeying to help Edwards cousin into the house and even my own Father was making a fool of himself in a vie for her attention. I was amusingly reminded of a cluster of Peacocks displaying their feathers trying to get a females attention, then men stood taller, chests puffed out and I was reminded why Edward does not enjoy her company.

I barged my way through the throng of men and pulled Rose inside and out of the rain, welcoming her to our home. The leather pants she was wearing did not leave much to the imagination and I was all too happy to offer her dry clothes and a warm room to change in.

Alice and I returned to the kitchen leaving the boys to their game, the air in the house had already shifted with her arrival. Edward no longer laughed and joined in on the banter but sat in his chair, lost deep in thought while life went on around him.

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I spent an entire day cooking and baking only to have the main event over within what felt like minutes. My Dad and Jasper cleared the table and started on the dishes while the rest of us sat and listen to Rose's stories of her exciting life between Chicago and New York. It all sounded so glamorous but lonely to me and I actually found myself feeling sorry for her. I was only half listening to tales of her adventures but most of my attention rested on my husband who sat quietly at the head of the table. He would have appeared to most to have been playing attention, but I could tell by the glossed over hue of his eyes that he was in fact very far away at that moment.

I rose from the table and moved to stand behind Edward; he was in his own world when I squeezed his shoulders to get his attention, "Hun, will you help me with dessert?" I pled with him and he gladly obliged me.

When we found no solitude in the kitchen I dragged him upstairs insisting that I had seen more plates hidden somewhere in a box I had come across earlier in the day. I pushed Edward into our bedroom with a force that he knew meant business, "OK, Masen, can you at least pretend to enjoy yourself?"

"I am enjoying myself, dinner was great Love." He offered me a small peck on the cheek.

"Liar!" I huffed at him, "You are miserable and we both know it!"

"Sorry, I will try harder; I guess I am just tired from the move and everything." He shrugged but I knew that he was lying to protect me once again.

"Edward Masen, you will not lie to me! I will have you know that I speak Edward and we both know that _tired_ is code word for miserable."

He chuckled at my brashness, "you are right Love, you are always right. It's just that seeing Rose reminds me of all of the negative from my past and I just don't trust her. She is always up to something."

"Well then, maybe I will just have to distract you!" My hands started to caress his chest as I pushed him down onto the bed forcefully.

"Distract me? Bella, we have a house full of guests and you know what the Doctor said!"

I would not listen to him though; instead I lavished his neck with kisses and regaled in his succulence. Climbing atop his lap straddling him and he groaned as I unbutton the top closures on his shirt exposing the hallows of his neck. I was tracing the curve of his Adam's apple with my tongue when there was a knock at the door.

My father entered and blushed before attempting to leave from the sight of his grown daughter making out with her husband, the three of us paused in embarrassment, no one prepared to break the painful silence.

"Err, Hi Daddy!" I smiled my biggest grin and offered my puppy dog eyes that I used to use to get me so many things as a child.

"Sorry for interrupting kids, I was just looking for Edward but I can, um, see that he's busy."

Edward chuckled and guided me off of him buttoning his shirt back up, "What's up Charlie?"

"If you've got a minute, can we talk?" My fathers eyes ventured over to mine giving me the feeling that I was not welcome in this conversation. I excused myself to tend to dessert and our guests but I was not pleased about being excluded again.

When Dad and Edward returned downstairs we were just finishing up our pumpkin pie, they both looked tired and worn but I could tell that they were trying to put on a front for my sake and as my father turned to take his seat I could see a folded piece of paper tucked in his pocket and I knew once again that the people in my life were keeping secrets from me.

***

All our guests but Rosalie had left; she had a hotel in the city to stay at but I couldn't bear the thought of anyone trying to ride a motorcycle in this rain. Emmett of course offered to drive her and I've no doubt what his other intentions were but I insisted as much as I know it pains Edward, that she at least stays the night. I could tell that he wasn't thrilled but he attempted to hide his discomfort at the situation.

I knew that he wasn't angry with me as we crawled in to bed and that this wasn't the best time for me to try and pry the information out of him about my Dad's mystery conversation, but he assured me that he was just tying up loose ends and there was nothing for me to worry about. He would say nothing further on the matter.

I gratefully accepted his offer of distraction in the form of a back rub, and I drifted off to sleep while his capable hands soothed away my tired and sore muscles.

***

Two AM is such a dark and awful time, it is too late to call night about too early to call morning. I had a sudden craving for pumpkin pie and I was tiptoeing down the stairs to sneak a slice when I heard angry voices coming from the den.

"What did you do Rose?" Edwards tone snapped and snarled in hate filled words.

"He was only supposed to scare you guys, I had hoped that you would move back to Chicago, things got out of hand and now he is trying to blackmail me." Rose got out through wailing sobs.

"Do you know that they did to us Rose? What they did to Bella?" I heard a loud slap hitting Rosalie's cheek and I was stunned that my husband could hit a woman, no matter what she had done.

I burst in to the den demanding to know what is going on and Rose crashed to my feet. "Oh Bella, I am so sorry, so very sorry for what I have done." She was sobbing hysterically and I was confused. Edward turned and his back is to us, too sickened to even look in her direction. "There was only supposed to be one guy and he was just supposed to scare you guys in to moving back, I never thought, I never imagined…"

"Get out of my house Rose! I never want to see or hear from you ever again! This is it, we are through, DONE! You are dead to me Rose, DEAD!" I stood shocked as Edward lifted his cousin from my feet and pushed her to the door before throwing her keys at her.

I was left speechless as she turned to leave and I knew that this was the last of Edward's family walking through that door.

He stood in the open doorway staring into the darkness as we heard the roar of the engine fade in to silence. "Bella, please just go back to bed." I walked over and placed my hand on his shoulder but he winced under my touch and headed out the door into the wet dark night.

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Please Review. What do you think is going to happen?


	22. Ashes Ashes

**Twilight belongs to its Author, this story however, is all me.**

**A/N Thank-you for your love over the course of this story, I too am sad to see it ending but I hope it was worth it and you have enjoyed the ride.**

**ETA: Sorry if there was some confusion, this is not the last chapter but we are nearing the end and I am feeling nostalgic.**

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**Ashes, Ashes**

The rain fell on me like tattered drops from a ragged cut. Life had finally returned to a normal rhythm, Bella was back to her old self and we were moving on but that has all been torn from me once again, betrayed by the only living family member that I had left. What was Rose thinking? The depths of her darkness and scheming had never surprised me before but now, I was stunned and raw in the cold, hard pre-dawn rain. Anger was a growing seed deep in my stomach, and I felt sickened by the rolling waves of rage that I was trying to suppress, but the vitriol was rising in me like a serpent from the Sea.

To think that my own cousin of all people, had hired that vile pig of a man to hunt us down and attempt to scare us into moving back to Chicago, just for her benefit. I thought that I had left that whole life of scheming and social climbing behind me only to have her bring it down upon me in a cruel twist of fate.

When she told me what she had done, I thought it some sick and twisted joke of hers but this was all too real, this was all her scheme gone awry. I knew that she never asked for us to be hurt but there was no excuse for what she had done.

Rose came to me tonight, not to apologize for her actions but to ask for money and my help to pay this guy off. She claimed that he has been stalking her and threatening her at every turn and if she didn't come up with the money he wanted, he was going to kill her. She said that she has been paying him off all along but he kept wanting more and more. He seemed to be on a course of vengeance for his friend's death and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to hand her over to him on a silver platter, but she was gone and good riddance to her. It sounded to me like he wasn't after money at all and this was all just a sport to him, he wasn't going to stop for any amount of money.

I fell to my knees landing on the hard soggy drive; the sharp edges of the gravel were a painful relief, a distraction from the war raging inside of me. My heart and soul wanted to protect Bella but I didn't know who I was angrier at: Rose for thinking that scaring us would make us leave town and bringing this nightmare upon us, that wretched pig for what he did, or myself for bringing Bella into this twisted and crazy life.

Bella, my Bella, who had been so insistent that this wasn't my fault, how do I tell her everything? How will I ever be able to look her in the eyes again? As if she sensed my pain and need I felt her small hands on me as she placed a blanket over my sopping wet shoulders, "Come inside, you will catch your death out here. She's gone Edward and standing out here in the rain won't change anything."

I couldn't fathom a response; death at that moment would have been a welcomed guest. The truth was that I liked the cold wet rain hitting my skin like shards of icy glass; it reminded me that I was still alive even if I didn't deserve to be.

I was numb and frozen but in a trance I followed my wife inside, my sweet innocent Bella. The moment I stepped inside I crashed to the floor in agonized sobs releasing all that was burning inside me, my tears splattering on the hardwood floor washing her feet in a salty puddle of sorrow and guilt.

***

Time had lost all meaning and I moved about in a daze of anger and remorse. Two weeks had passed and we had heard nothing from Rosalie. Charlie had his men here and in Chicago looking for her in hopes of getting enough information out of her to find the last remaining deviant before he could hurt anyone else, but no one has had any luck.

Despite Bella's protests and insistence that I would shoot my foot off, I went with Charlie and took lessons on how to shoot a gun, I needed to know that if something terrible were to happen, that I would have the power to protect my family. With my pardon not yet completed I had to go through some shady channels to get a gun, but one thing was certain, my wife and child would never be harmed again. Bella hated having a gun in the house and she made me agree to keep the gun loaded and locked in a safe that I had installed last week.

Bella was so caring and innocent, she needed my protection. I had someone there at the house with her at all times while she thought I was in the city working on a big business merger; when in fact all of that time I had spent away from her, I was roaming the darkest pits of the city, hunting. I was on a mission and I wouldn't stop until I saw him pay.

It was a gloomy Thursday afternoon when I met up with Emmett at the Pub for lunch. He too had been on a search only I had him hunting for Rose. I needed the last piece of info from her if I was ever going to find this pig and protect my family, but Emmett had struck out and it seemed as though Rose had taken what I said to heart and had vanished. I can't say that if it weren't for the name that I needed from her, that I would have been the least bit sorry.

Sitting there with Emmett, I couldn't fight the feeling that we were being watched, Rose's vial confession had set my nerves on end. I have found myself jumping at shadows in the dark that were not there and hearing whispers in the dark when I am alone in the room. I knew that I had been distant from Bella, perhaps even to the point of being overbearing. I could no longer accept the forgiveness that she offered me weeks ago, I couldn't bear to take the bracelet off but its words burned like acid against my skin.

I have been looking over my shoulder constantly expecting danger at every corner but have met with nothing but disappointment. Something was awakened in me and it would not rest until I saw vengeance.

The warm smell of stale beer was doing nothing but feeding the beast that sat ready to pounce at the first sign of danger. I needed an escape, no I needed my Life back the way it was just weeks ago. I needed to hold on to that promise, that hope.

I had left Bella at home with Alice for the day and I was aching to be with her but I wasn't sure how to be with her anymore, I have barely spoken to her, to anyone lately. I was not angry or sad anymore, I was driven, I was a hunter on a quest and there were two animals threatening and lurking in the shadows.

"Edward, Buddy," Emmett called me from my thoughts, "I think we have to face it man, they are gone, and it's time to move on. You are going to be a Dad in a few months, all of this darkness and anger, it has to stop. You have a Wife at home that is scared and hurting but here you are; in a bar with me when you should be at home with Bella."

"I know, Emmett, I am doing all of this to help her, to protect her." I was getting tired of defending myself to everyone, everything I was doing, I did for her.

Emmett slammed his fist down on the bar, "Can't you see it Edward, all she needs is YOU! You just don't get it do you? Yes, terrible things have happened to you guys but if you are ever going to get through this, it has to be together and Now. I will not sit by and watch you drive this wedge through your life." He stared at me and dawn was breaking in my mind.

I chuckled at my friend that at times had the IQ of a five year old but often came out with the sagest advice. "I know." I let out a gush of air and replaced my empty sleeve on the bar.

"Refill?" The slimy bar tender asked.

"No thanks man, I'm going home to my wife!"

"That's my boy! Go get her Tiger" Emmett slapped my back jovially.

For the first time in weeks I felt calm, I wasn't sure how but it was as if someone had lifted one of the dark clouds that had been hovering over me. My anger was being replaced by a longing, a desire to hold Bella in my arms and let all our cares melt away. I had to get home to her. I have been so distant from her and thought of nothing but protecting her.

I was twenty minutes away from home, twenty minutes away from setting things right and I was determined to fix my life with Bella. I owed her better than this. She didn't need protecting, she needed ME and I haven't been there for her. Saying goodbye to Emmett, I thanked him for his help, certain now that we had looked everywhere and that Rose was nowhere to be found.

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**Reviews Are Love!**


	23. We All Fall Down

**Here you have it, the final chapter. **

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**We All Fall Down**

Since Thanksgiving night when Rose took off out the door, and for the past two weeks, Edward had been a different man; he was deeply wounded and withdrawn. He tried to pretend that everything was all right but I felt, I knew, that it wasn't. There was this dark shadow lurking over our heads at every turn.

Alice was my babysitter for the day and I had given up on putting up a fight about it. If it made him happy to know that I was not alone, then it was one less thing for him to worry about, but I would not be able to put up with that forever. I have had enough of living in fear and darkness. I was not blind and I knew that Edward wouldn't rest until he found Rose and this would all be over with but I was at a loss as to what I could do, I felt so helpless.

Alice was busying herself with painting the nursery for me while I had been spending most of my days baking and freezing treats for Christmas, to pass the time, but it was just another attempt at distraction.

I was pulling the final tray of shortbread cookies out of the oven for the day when I heard a car approaching in the driveway. I rushed outside in hopes that Edward had come home early but instead I was met by a young man who rudely asked me if I was the Lady of the house, when I answered; he threw a small box at my feet before tearing back down the driveway and vanishing into the distance

I ripped open the non-descriptive package and was stunned to see a long lock of golden blond hair and a note.

_Two pretty little flowers in one family. That man of yours has too much. He has taken the only family I had so now I have taken his. _

_Your husband sits, being watched, in a pub with his friend and I have your cousin._

_Come to the Farm house on Miller Road, ALONE, or they all die. _

_Bring enough money and you both might live but someone is going to pay. _

_You have 15 minutes._

_Tell no one or everyone dies and that goes for your little Pixie friend too! _

_I am watching you._

My hands trembled and my heart stopped beating until the adrenaline and panic kicked in. I ran inside locking the door behind me, the note clung firmly in my hands as the words played over and over again in my mind. Fear and anger were raging a battle for dominance and I had to fight the thoughts coursing through me. What if this was all a trick? What if I was already too late? What if they were already dead?

My purse sat on the table beside the door, I grabbed for it as I ran up the stairs. My shoes made a loud clomping sound as I flew to the second floor, crashing into our bedroom. The safe that I just last week had thought foolish, now held what may potentially save my families lives. I punched in the combination and the beeping of the numbers reminded me of another sound. I remembered the cell phone that sat in my purse, the words "Tell no one or everyone dies" hung ominously on my heart as I turned it on. I was met with a beep of a waiting text message and froze. The text read "I said, Tell NO ONE." I was sickened with guilt as I dropped the phone to the floor. I felt foolish and I may have just cost someone I love, their life.

There wasn't much cash in the safe, perhaps a few thousand, surely that wouldn't be enough, but I had to try. My purse was overstuffed with money as I saw Edward's gun staring back at me, I bit my bottom lip as I paused for a moment. I didn't know how to use a gun. You would think as a cop's child I should know, but the truth was that I was terrified of that metallic ender of lives. I shoved the weapon into a coat pocket, slipping the jacket on as I dashed down the hall.

Alice's head popped out of the nursery, paint marred her perfect little face. Would this be the last time that I would ever see her? A second text message beeped on my phone from the closet but I didn't need to run and check it, I new that time was running out. "We are out of sugar," I shouted to Alice as I ran down the hall and through the front door taking the stairs two at a time.

Tears threatened to spill at the corners of my strength, time was whipping past me at a maniacal rate. Visions of what I might face were illuminating my terror as my heart tried to leap out of my chest.

Miller Road was only a few miles from our home; I had seen the street sign as we'd driven by many times. I knew the old abandoned farm house the moment that I saw it.

Flakes of weather worn paint hung like wrinkles from the neglected building. Windows were boarded up years ago with shutters half fallen off reminded me of a setting from a horror movie. I could hear my pounding heartbeat playing a threatening melody warning of danger.

My hand brushed the rusted door knob and it popped open at the lightest touch.

I was in a dark and dusty long forgotten room, the only light source being the few streaks of daylight that snuck in between the slats of the boarded windows. My other senses were heightened as my eyes struggled to adjust to the dark.

My heart was racing and the rhythm was a pounding drum against my head, I could feel my pulse throbbing in my neck like a beacon calling out in the dark.

"Rose?" I cried out in a frantic whisper. I could barely make out a lump of a figure in the dark corner as I rushed to her side. Her arms were clammy and cool but she stirred under my touch and as my eyes adjusted to the dark I could make out the mottled bruises on her once lovely face. She still wore the clothes that I had loaned her, patches of dried blood clung to them like matted scabs, her golden blond hair was a rats nest of blood and filth.

"Bella, you came?' she coughed in a pained whisper.

"Rose, what did he do to you?" Tears were streaming down my cheek as I heard a throat clear from across the room. I spun around and could faintly see a dark outline in the corner.

"I hate to break up this little family reunion girls, where is my money?" His dark shadow sat on an old wooden stool towering in the corner.

I took my purse off and threw it to him, "You have what you want, now please, let us go!" I spat in his direction as I struggled to help a broken Rosalie to her feet.

I could hear the popping sound of the magnets releasing on my purse, "There isn't much here little flower, is this all your family is worth to you?" His greasy voice snaked in a sardonic tone.

"What did you call me?" My head pounded as his voice struck a block in my mind and I was flooded with painful memories. "It was you!" I spat in an angry shocked attack as the venom began to surge through my veins. I leaned Rose against the wall and turned to face the viper.

"I knew that you would remember me. I left an impression did I?" He blew a kiss to me and I felt sickened, bile rose in my throat burning a trail of sick that I had to fight to keep down. I could smell the oily darkness of that dark alley; I could taste the fear as I remembered the terror and agony in Edward's eyes. I had to fight to stay on my feet as my mind swirled between the nightmares.

The legs of the stool scraped across the wood floor as the monster rose from the shadows and into the light. I was jolted with electricity as I recognized his face from the market. I had to swallow a lump of sick again knowing that he had been so close to me and I had not known who he was.

He stood feet away, towering over me, I was paralyzed with fear. My head was swimming in gray fuzz as I realized the gravity of the situation. This was not about Rose or money; this was pure revenge, my eyes flashed with the dawn of enlightenment. As if sensing the shift in the air he took two steps toward me closing the distance between us.

I could hear Rose's breath hitch as he pushed me backward against the hard dirty wall. His face inches from mine.

If this was the end, I did not want his cold menacing eyes to be the last thing that I saw. I looked to Rose, tears streaming down both of our cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I never meant for this to happen." She let out a whimper as her hand reached for mine, our fingers could barely touch but I could feel the shared agony coursing through us both. "Tell Edward that I am sorry, I only wanted our family together again."

He lunged at Rose delivering a hard punch across her already bruised cheek, bone hitting bone as her blood sprayed across the dark walls. "You have no right to talk about family, you little manipulative Bitch!" He spat at her form that slid once again to the floor. "Because of you my brother is dead!" He huffed," That's right, it was MY brother that your precious Edward killed and now I am going to kill all that is dear to him!"

At that moment I felt all hope draining from me as he yielded a switch blade from his right hand. There was no escape as he held the sharp blade at my neck. The reversed image from that dark night flashed through me as this was the very same knife that his Brother held to Edward's neck that dreadful night.

"Round two is it?" He licked his lips eyeing my up and down, "Your cousin there put up a lot more fight that you did, shall we try this again?" Terror was surging through me as my thoughts were no longer for my own salvation. My arms instinctively wrapped around my middle protecting my unborn child. I feared that I would never hear Edward play his melody to our baby. I was terrified at the thought of never seeing him again.

"Pity you will never get to hold that baby of yours." He moved in and gyrating his hips against me. The baby squirmed, kicking me hard on my right side and as I moved my hand to feel its kick one last time, my hand brushed against the hard steel that sat in my pocket.

I could hear a siren far away in the distance; it was growing closer but still sounded miles away. Alice had remembered the code word for trouble and called for help. He startled and looked to the door for just a brief moment which gave me just enough time to wrap my fingers around the handle and pull the gun from my pocket.

Rose stirred and got up on her hands and knees, I pulled the gun, pointing it sternly at his chest, and my hands tumbled under its weight and power.

"What have you got there my Pet, A water gun?" He chuckled, "You won't shoot me. Just like that pitiful man of yours couldn't protect you in the alley, you are both cowards and you will be dead before the Police arrive. I will pay your Edward a little visit. Shall I tell him you said Goodbye?" His eyes twitched as I unlocked the safety switch on the gun.

"Enough of this," His left hand hit my arm and my fingers released letting the gun fly across the floor.

Time stood still as memories of my life passed before my eyes. I could smell the freesia from the bouquet at our wedding. I could hear the laughter and feel the love surround me in a blanket of warmth.

Rose slowly stood to her feet; weak and trembling she shot me a glance as she raised her arms. I saw Edward's gun in her hands but I wasn't the only one to notice as the dark greasy man lunged toward her with his knife pointed at her chest. Their bodies collided in a crash, my ears rang with the bang of the pistol and my breath caught as he slid down Rose's frail frame landing at her feet.

Consciousness was threatening to slip from me as I saw his eyes go blank and the pool of blood spread around them.

The sirens were growing louder; help was on its way. In a flash of clarity I looked to Rose who stood sideways to me, her arms reached out to me as she slid to her knees, a pained grimace on her face. I flew to catch her and I saw the black handle of the knife sticking from her side.

There was a peaceful smile growing on her face, "Forgive me, please." She whispered in a muted smile.

Tears were streaming down my face," Rose, help is almost here, hang on, please just hang on Rose!"

"Bella," She paused to catch her breath as frothy blood spilled from the corner of her mouth, "Love them Bella, family is all that matters in this world." She let out a gasp of air, "forgive me," and went limp.

I fell to my knees pulling her tight against my chest and I rocked her limp body. "Rose, don't go, I forgive you!"

She smiled one last time as her eyes lost their luster and the life slipped out of her.

I sat clutching Rose's lifeless body, willing her to come back. Voices surrounded me in the room but I could not move. I could see the reflections of the blue and red lights circling through the slats across the windows but they were of no relief. She was gone, they were too late.

Strong hands tried to pry me away from her but my sobs scared them off, my tears washed the matted blood from her face revealing the beauty that was Rosalie. I could hear the clunking of high heels of the driveway outside and a commotion as familiar voices burst through the door.

Strong arms wrapped around me from behind pulling me up into his lap and holding me like a child. "It's over Bella, It's over!" The words played over and over in my mind, not yet able to grasp their meaning. Rose's hand fell from my grip as Edward carried me outside.

He collapsed to the ground with me still in his arms and wept. His salty tears brought me from my trance and I focused on his loving green emerald eyes.

"She's gone Edward, I couldn't save her." I wept in my husbands arms.

"Shhh," He tried to sooth me but I was overcome with grief. We sat on the damp grassy field holding onto each other for dear life. "It's over Bella, it is really over."

I recounted the story of what had just taken place to Edward and the Police, I told them everything from the mysterious gifts and the meeting in the market to Rose's final moments. It really was over.

"Let's go home Bella, there is nothing left that we can do here." I allowed Edward to carry me to the car after the paramedics checked me out; none of the blood that stained my clothing belonged to me.

He carried me into our home and helped me shower; removing the reminders of the nightmare I had just survived. As he rubbed the soap over my growing belly our child kicked and we both cried again as we were reminded of just how precious this little life that we have been given is.

I sat on the floor of the nursery, now ready to move on and prepare myself for motherhood and what is to come. There was a book of children's nursery rhymes sitting on the dresser and I opened it to a random page and read: _Ring around the Rosie, a Pocket full of Posies, Ashes, Ashes, We all Fall down. _

Edward came and sat on the floor beside me, we cried together, letting go of the stress that had been a constant companion in our lives. We held on to each other extra tight and knew that as long as we were together, we could survive anything.

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**Thank-you for reading and please share with me how you are feeling about it.**

There will still be an epilogue to come but for right now, I feel peace.


	24. Epilogue

**Here you have the final piece of It All Falls Down...**

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**A New Day**.

Edward

"It is times like these when I stand, surrounded by friends and family that I realize just how fortunate I am. I did not have the best experiences with family growing up but if I could have chosen my family, it would be the people sitting here at this table." I smiled at my radiant wife before raising my glass to the faces that were seated around a Christmas feast, "to family!"

Glasses clinked and cheerful banter filled the room as a scrumptious feast, prepared skilfully by Bella and Alice, was passed around. I was elated at the peace that had been given to us. Torturous dreams have since left our nights and they are now filled with visions of a happy future and dreams of family.

Bella, amazed us all in her survival, I was devastated that my own flesh and blood could have orchestrated all that pain. Rose wanted exactly what I had; hopes and dreams and a warm and loving family. She chose her own path though, one full of thorns and venom.

I remembered the pain in her eyes at the last moment I had seen her alive, I will be haunted by that as long as I live. But, I do have hope, the new little life that is growing inside Bella is more than just a child, it is a symbol of all that is still right in this world. Every day I grow more and more excited to meet this little person that squirms and kicks at the sound of my voice.

I was brought from my daydreams, and reminded by a swift kick from Emmett under the table, that the world was still going on around me. Our demons were behind us and I had to let go of some of my guilt.

"Edward, can you be a dear and help me in the kitchen with dessert?" Bella stood beside me in all her beauty. Her round belly brushed against my arm as she turned and walked toward the kitchen.

The door swung shut behind me and I saw her, barefoot, reaching on her tiptoes to get the plates down. I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind and placed tender kisses on the back on her neck, "where are your shoes, my Love?" I asked between nibbles of her soft flesh.

"My feet are swollen and I can't find my slippers anywhere," she pouted. "Ugh, I can't even reach the top shelf any more, my belly is too big." She tried to turn but I held her tightly. Now that I could finally relax and not have to worry about the shadows, I didn't want to let her out of my arms ever again. "Edward, they are waiting for dessert," she whispered as I swept her long hair across her shoulders exposing the soft area at the base of her neck that I swathed in a flurry of tiny kisses.

"Let them wait," I smiled through the trail of kisses that I laid across her warm skin.

"Edwaaaard!" I did not relent and she was putty in my hands, "I… we… people…"

I chuckled at her incoherence, "Ok you win," but this time I was the one who was pouting. "You go and sit, I will bring in dessert and then I will go and find your slippers for you, Ok?" She smiled a big childish grin at me, "and then tonight once everyone is gone, I am going to give you a nice long foot rub."

"Yes, Sir!" she saluted with a sly grin and returned to the dining room. She continued to amaze me every day, after everything that she had been through she was still positive and loving. I thought that most people in her situation would have cowered and hid, but not Bella. At least, not that she was letting on.

I served the dessert to our friends but saved Bella's for last, I placed her plate gently in front of her and our eyes met just as they had years ago when we first met. Fire was glowing inside me for the amazing woman that I was fortunate enough to call my wife. My vision fogged and framed her in gentle wisps. Her tender lips parted and mouthed the words, "I love you."

Peace and harmony had replaced the fear and angst that has consumed me for so long, at times I still found myself dwelling on the events that had brought us here but I had to keep kicking myself and remembering that at the end of all darkness, light gives way to a new day. We all adjourned to the living room and we exchanged gifts with our friends while I played Christmas carols on my piano and we sang and laughed until the late hours of the night.

The excitement was wearing on Bella but she kept insisting that she was not tired. I could see the weight of the day resting on her eyelids and it appeared that this was a battle that she was about to lose. Jasper and Alice were the last to leave, they were such dedicated friends. When Bella heard me wish them a good night, she sprang from the sofa in an awkward leap, "wait!" She bounced to our friends and pulled them back to the sofa, "I have something else for you guys."

"Sweetie, you are exhausted, this can wait. I will come back tomorrow and see you. Go to bed." Alice patted Bella's leg as she rose to her feet.

"Sit down NOW!" she glared but we all erupted in laughter, Bella was clearly going to have to work on her stern, mom-voice. "Listen you two! You have been together for eight years. Jasper, I love you like a brother and I am thrilled that you _finally _proposed to Alice. But, so help me if I have to wait more than a year to see this wedding, I will get myself a license over the Internet and marry you guys myself," she gave in to the smiles that filled the room.

"Bells, we just thought that it was best to wait a while, we aren't going anywhere. We have a long life together ahead of us." Jasper coyly replied and I could see that he was starting to cower under Bella's glare.

"Here, maybe this will motivate you," Bella pulled one of two envelopes off the end table and handed it to her dearest friends.

"Bella?" Alice squirmed, "we already exchanged gifts, what is this?"

"Just open it." Bella bounced in her seat with excitement. You would have thought that she had received a gift. Alice's little fingers slid the envelope open and her eyes grew wide as she pulled the airline voucher in to view. "It's a honeymoon of your choice!" Bella screamed with excitement.

Alice smiled as the paper fell to the floor and the two girls jumped and bounced like the ten year old versions of themselves. Jasper looked to me with questioning eyes, "This is all Bella's doing man, I had nothing to do with it, I swear." I raised my hands in defeat.

New energy had risen Bells from her sleepy state, she was bounding and bouncing as we walked our friends to their car and were finally, alone at last! Relieved, I wrapped my arm around Bella and led her back into the house that twinkled and shined with Christmas joy. "Now my Darling wife, I do believe that I owe you a foot rub..." I winked playfully at her with a crooked grin and escorted her to the living room.

Bella sprawled out on the sofa and placed her tired and sore feet in my lap as I began to work my magic. "As always, you did an amazing job with dinner, Love. Thank you." Bella nuzzled herself into the fluffy folds of the couch with a big grin on her face.

"You know me Edward, if my nose hasn't been buried in a book lately, I have been in the kitchen baking, or cleaning, Nesting, what can I say. I just can't seem to sit still these days." She yawned through her words as all of her hard work had obviously exhausted her.

"Uh huh!" I shook my head at her, "I am sure it has nothing to do with being nine months pregnant." I smiled with delight at the thought of soon meeting our child as sleep started to pull its embrace over her.

"Nope, nothing to do with it, you know me, stubborn as a mule." She quipped.

"Come one Bells; let's get you upstairs to bed." I insisted but she shook her head in protest.

"I like the lights on the tree, there is something comforting about all the twinkling lights. Besides, I am not tired," she responded through yawns.

I knew that this was a battle that I had no chance of winning so I seized the opportunity to change the subject, "That was quite a gift that you gave Alice and Jasper. Were you serious about getting your license to marry them yourself?"

"You know I am. So help me, I will see those two married if it is the last thing I do!" She smiled playfully at me and I didn't doubt her in the least.

"I couldn't help but notice there were two envelopes on the end table, what's in the other one?" I motioned toward the table at the other end of the sofa, the letter had been sitting there for a few days and I have been insane with curiosity.

"Huh? Oh that... just some test results the doctor gave me the other day." She said calmly.

My Interest was piqued as she hadn't mentioned anything about any more tests and a light went off in my head about the timing and what those tests might be, "and are you going to tell me or am I going to have to pry it out of you?" I tickled her foot playfully to encourage a response.

"Don't know, haven't opened it yet." She shrugged and I was shocked, I would have thought that she would have torn into it the second she held it in her hands.

"Is there some reason that you haven't opened it? Did they say that it was something to worry about?"

"Not exactly, he just said to open it when I felt ready," she answered calmly as if she was telling me what she ate for breakfast

"Bella, you know what this could mean don't you? The results in that envelope will finally put everything behind us for good; it is the final piece to the puzzle. Don't you want to know?"

"I don't need to see words on paper to know what is in my heart Edward. Everything is fine, I just know it."

I struggled to wrap my thoughts around her assumptions but they were her results and I didn't want to press the matter and ruin our perfect Christmas on the off chance that it _was_ bad news.

It was three in the morning when Bella woke with her feet still in my lap. We had both fallen asleep in the den watching the twinkling Christmas lights. She gently rose from the sofa thinking that I hadn't noticed as she made her way to the kitchen where she served herself a slice of pumpkin pie with a healthy serving of whipped cream. I chuckled quietly as I recognized the telltale sound of the fridge opening.

Quietly, I walked to the kitchen and stopped to lean against the wall as and watch my wife standing in front of the double glass doors that lead to the yard. The curtains were open and the moon was full as is glistened like diamonds on the fresh snow. Slowly, I walked toward her and wrapped my arms tenderly around her as we both stared at the night sky and marvelled at the vastness of the universe.

"Merry Christmas, Bella." I whispered in her ear as I slowly pulled one final gift out of my pocket that I had been saving for a tender moment when we were finally alone.

The little blue box sat in Bella's hands like treasure as she turned and smiled warmly up at me, "We already exchanged Christmas gifts, what is this?"

"It isn't a Christmas gift exactly, just something that I wanted you to have. You have been so brave and strong, Bella, and you have overcome so much that I wanted you to always have a reminder of that strength." She lifted the lid on the box and pulled out the velvet inner box and opened the lid slowly. The platinum shone under the moonlight as I fastened the delicate charm bracelet around her wrist and she smiled as she looked at the single charm attached. It was a small platinum skeleton key. "It is a key to remind you that even when your world seemed lost to you, you held the key all along and you still and forever will hold the key to my heart."

"Thank you Edward, it's beautiful." She played with the tiny key that dangled on her wrist as she took my hand in hers, "come on, let's go to bed."

Hand in hand we walked up the stairs to the master bedroom and slipped under the covers holding on to each other for dear life. We felt warm and safe but most importantly we were together.

It had been a long and exhausting day but a good one and sleep quickly took me as I was having the most pleasant dream; we were on a tropical holiday and wading in the warm ocean waters as we ran and laughed splashing in the warm waters without a care in the world. Bella tripped on a rock hidden in the sand and we both fell to the ground atop the warm sand as I wrapped my arms around her, our lips met under a purple sunset of warmth. I awoke from the pleasant dream as the lips that I had been imagining were real and brushing warmly against my jaw.

"Its late sweetheart, you should get some rest." I suggested to my wife who was trying to seduce me for the first time since I had almost lost her weeks ago.

"I told you that I can't sit still these days, Edward."

"Can I get you something Love; do you want a book to read or something?" I yawned to her knowing all too well what she wanted and I hated to be the one to constantly remind her of certain restrictions.

She did not answer me with words as I felt fire burning in my chest as she climbed atop me in all of her rounded beauty. "Bella, what are you doing, Love?" I smiled at her.

"What do you think I am doing Mr. Masen? I am seducing my husband."

"I can see that, Love but what about what the doctor said?" I had a feeling that there would be no stopping her tonight and for once I wasn't sure if I wanted to.

"Edward Masen, will you please make love to me. I want to... no; I _need_ to feel my skin against yours again." She whispered as she bent down and kissed me passionately.

"Are you sure Love? I just want to make certain that this is truly what you want. I don't want to rush you or push you in any way." I fought to get out the words between her kisses.

"I have never wanted anything more in my life, Edward. Do I have to drag you downstairs to the piano to convince you?" She looked up at me and smiled teasingly, knowing one of my weaknesses.

"Well, there is something downstairs that might make me feel a little better first... the envelope." I suggested with a nod of my head.

"Fine... I will go read it if that will convince you that I am ready." She rose from the bed in a huff and left the room. I chuckled as I could hear each step she took down the stairs one at a time in frustration.

In a moment of delight I knew that my Bella was without a doubt completely back to herself, as stubborn and frustrating as she could be, I wouldn't have her any other way. She had been gone a few minutes when I heard her call my name from the landing at the bottom of the stairs. Excitedly, I slipped on my robe and had a twisted thought that maybe she hadn't been joking about the piano, and the thought was highly appealing.

I made it to the bottom step when I noticed the open envelope on the coffee table but I did not see Bella in the room as I had expected. "Isabella, where are you, Love?" I smiled assuming that she must have had another late night craving. The envelope was calling to me and I had to know so I slipped over to the table and picked the paper up that delivered me the world's greatest news and shook the remaining cobwebs from my soul, _Negative_!

"Bella, Come in here, you can have pie later!" I shouted excitedly to her and as she rounded the corner from the kitchen she had a worried look on her face. "Hey, Honey, what's wrong, you read this right? Negative! Isn't that amazing, Sweetheart! There is nothing else to worry about, you are healthy, you are both healthy!" I rushed over to her lifting her up in a massive bear hug and swung her around the room in delight. "Put me down Edward. Please."

"Are you alright Love, you should be celebrating this moment. Oh ,Bella, this is wonderful." I pulled her in to a tight hug as I marvelled in the joy I felt.

"Well, I think we are going to be celebrating more than just health." She smiled awkwardly.

I wrinkled my brow at my wife in confusion, "what could we possibly celebrate that is more important than health, Love?"

"How about becoming parent... my water just broke."

* * *

**Lullaby**

Bella

I woke late one February morning to find that my husband and baby were not in the bedroom with me. Edward had obviously thought that I needed the extra sleep and had taken our sweet Angel downstairs. Though I was exhausted and drained, I felt a bounce in my step as I quickly dressed and Iwent down to find them.

Parenthood had changed us more than we had thought it would. There was no more dwelling on the past or nightmares of dark alleys and poisonous flowers. I no longer feared keys or leather and we both looked forward to the future and to days that I would soon be spending in my garden once the ground finally thawed and the rains stopped.

As my foot landed on the bottom step I heard a sweet sound floating from the den that brought warmth to my already filled heart. Edward was playing his piano and it was a song that I would know anywhere; it had been living in my heart for months and now filled our home.

Quietly, I popped my head through the door where I saw my amazing husband sitting at his shiny black piano with our daughter sitting in her bouncy chair atop the piano cooing and watching her father intently. Edward did not notice me enter the room as I stood behind him and took in the sight.

"Elizabeth Rose Masen, I wrote this song for you sweetheart. From the moment that I knew you existed, this song has filled my heart and it is everything that you are my little girl." The song was over and he picked up the baby tenderly in his long arms and cradled her gently as they walked over to the window and showed her the splendid greens of the outside world.

"Do you see that swing there? When you are bigger, Mommy and Daddy are going to sit there with you and we will watch the sunset together, my little Love Bug." Elizabeth squirmed and stretched as she let out a big yawn in his arms. "Are you tired little one? Daddy thought he would sneak you down here so that Mommy could sleep in. Your Mom is an amazing woman you know, she is the strongest person I have ever known and I hope that when you are all grown up that you will be just like her. You and Mommy mean the world to Daddy and I will always protect you, Sweetheart, but most importantly, I will always love you." Edward started to sway as he gently tried to rock the tired child back to sleep and I stood there watching and silently marvelling at my family.

Gently, he sung to his daughter about how love was like a rose and even in winter the snow gives would give way with the warmth of spring and even the smallest seed becomes a Rose. I thought it fitting that Edward had chosen to give his daughter the middle name of his cousin that had taught him so much about life. Her first name had come to us the moment we laid our eyes on her, she was a splitting imagine of Edward's mother and he wanted to honour her. She had my wavy brown hair and her father's stunning green eyes that spoke to my soul with each little bat of her eyelashes.

Two months had passed since we had laid Rosalie to rest and for both of us it had been a bitter sweet day. It took losing his past for him to truly look forward to the future and even thought we would never forget the hurtful mistakes that Rose had made along the way, she had taught us an important life lesson, you may not always like the family that you are given but you will always love them. In death, Rose saved my and now Elizabeth's life and we never wanted to forget how precious that gift was.

I walked over to my little family and placed one hand on Edward's shoulder and the other on our daughter's tiny chest. He wrapped his free arm around me and we were all encompassed in the warmth of a warm and loving hug. "She is a lucky girl to have you for a father, Edward."

I looked up, smiling at my husband and daughter as he invited us both to sit beside him at the piano. I cradled Elizabeth in my arms as I saw Edward's fingers melt into the keys as he played the lullaby again that he had written for our daughter, and as she slept soundly in my arms, Edward and I smiled at each other warmly with love and delight.

* * *

**A/N** Thank-you to everyone that has read this story and sent words of encouragement over the course of It all Falls down. i am sorry that it took so long to get this to you but I had to complete my first novel and I am proud to say that I had done that and it currently in the process of being edited in Chicago!!! So as my hard work sits thousands of miles away from me, I had to finish this for all of you.

Jenn/Mimi.


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